<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Nova Luna by Catherine_Earnshaw</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27569938">Nova Luna</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catherine_Earnshaw/pseuds/Catherine_Earnshaw'>Catherine_Earnshaw</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:34:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27569938</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catherine_Earnshaw/pseuds/Catherine_Earnshaw</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella Swan's entire life revolved around Edward Cullen, until she was faced with a heartbreaking separation. Now, left to pick up the pieces alone, she turns to friends both old and new. But things are never simple when it comes to Bella. Certainly not with the appearance of dangerous wolves and a red-headed vampire dead set on, well, seeing her dead. Will her new relationships be able to see her through her senior year? </p>
<p>All the passion and twists and turns of New Moon without the hallucinations and intense thrill-seeking. But with much more friendship and more bisexual energy. This is my New Moon rewrite, I hope you enjoy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Jacob Black/Bella Swan, Leah Clearwater/Bella Swan, Mike Newton/Jessica Stanley, Quil Ateara V/Angela Weber, Sam Uley/Emily Young</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>143</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Twilight and all of the characters in this work belong to Stephenie Meyer. Much of the dialogue early on is pulled directly from the book - this obviously also all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. </p>
<p>This fic picks up around page 98 of New Moon.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I stared at the faded yellow phone hanging from its hook. It seemed to taunt me with Charlie’s words, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You can’t keep waiting for him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Echoed by his threats to send me back to Renee if I didn’t show signs of improvement. Whatever “improvement” meant.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I’d spent the day at school preparing myself to ask Jessica to see a movie. Afterall, I had told Charlie I’d make plans with her to go to Port Angeles. But when I’d sat next to her in Calculus, I hadn’t been able to speak. It was as if my tongue became glued down. I couldn’t keep from imagining her sneer when I asked her for a favor after months of offending her with my antisocial behavior. She didn’t even look at me in the halls any more. No, I’d decided Jessica wasn’t the path to take. I needed a way to ease myself back into social interactions. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At lunch, I’d considered asking Angela to go with me instead. But somehow, I knew Angela would be too aware of what I’d gone through. She’d want to talk about what I’d lost. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Who </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’d lost. And the dull thrum of pain through my center kept me from even glancing her way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And now, I found myself confronting the phone. I didn’t even remember the drive home. The thick fog that filled my days had me bubbling to the surface only infrequently, for which I was grateful. Losing track of time was the least I could ask for. Still, Charlie would be home soon. The clock showed I only had an hour before he’d leave the station. He’d return to find me dazed, having made no progress from this morning, as I’d promised. I wasn’t sure how serious his threat of Renee and Florida was, but I wasn’t willing to risk it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So here I was. Staring at chips of lemon-hued paint. I chewed my lip before I reached out and dialed one of the numbers listed on the notepad taped beside the phone. After the fourth ring, I got a gruff answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Er, yeah, hi, Billy. Is Jacob there? Jacob Black?” My words came out in a stammer. Perhaps Jessica would’ve been the better choice after all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a long pause, Billy Black responded, “Bella, is that you?” I could’ve been imagining it, but it sounded like skepticism in his voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, yes. It’s me.” I was surprised to feel a strong wave of emotion wrack through me, turning my cheeks a bright red. I’d grown so used to the empty void, I’d forgotten what it felt like to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>embarrassed</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, what do you know! It’s good to hear from you, Bella!” I didn’t need to be able to see Billy to know he was smiling. “What brings on this call?” His tone took on a worried edge. “Is everything okay with Charlie?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. I just wanted to talk to Jacob. I haven’t seen him in forever.” I experimented by raising the corners of my own lips. The movement strained my facial muscles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He just got home from school. Let me go get him.” I heard the sound of the phone in Billy’s hand clattering down, then listened as he wheeled away. His muffled voice called out Jacob’s name,  informing him that Bella Swan was on the phone. It sounded like an elephant was sprinting toward the receiver before a breathless, husky voice came through.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bella!” I was taken aback by how deep his voice was. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Jacob!” An unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm sped my heart. I realized I was pleased to be talking to him. Something inside me seemed to click into place, filling that empty hole in my chest. Jacob Black, my missing puzzle piece. I’d forgotten how much I liked him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What can I do for ya, Bella?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you maybe want to go to the movies with me tonight? In Port Angeles.” A sharp inhale came from the other side of the line. “I could really use a night out,” I continued, trying to explain this seemingly random proposition. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, yeah, of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Bella. I could use a night out too!” He responded, his words laced with eager energy. “What movie were you thinking?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I realized with sinking panic that I had no clue what was in theaters now. What had been on commercials during Charlie’s basketball games? “How about that one with the female president?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob’s sunny laugh rang out. “Bells, that one hasn’t been in theaters in ages. Have you been living under a rock?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I knew he intended his worlds to be a joke, but they still caused me to squeeze my arms across my chest. Rock, fog - same difference. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” I frowned. “Is there anything you’d like to see?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you seen the trailer for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dead End</span>
  </em>
  <span>? My friend Embry went to see it with some girl a couple weeks ago and he said it was so scary his date had almost cried. I’ve been dying to see it.” Then, as if realizing that a tear-inducing horror movie might not be widely appealing, he tacked on, “But there’s also that new romantic comedy that has great reviews. I’d be down to see that too.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dead End </span>
  </em>
  <span>sounds perfect. I love scary movies.” In truth, I couldn’t remember what kind of movie I liked. But that hole inside of me - the one Jacob seemed to help numb - twinged at the idea of watching anything with romance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Awesome!” Jacob seemed genuinely thrilled by my response. “I’m still working on my Rabbit, so you’ll have to drive.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No worries. You’ll get some quality time to reconnect with the truck. I’ll be down to pick you up in thirty?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Roger that. See you soon, Bells!” And with that he hung up. I kept the cool plastic of the phone pressed against my cheek and listened to the dial tone. Without Jacob’s infectious enthusiasm to plug the pit in my chest, it yawned wide open, threatening to swallow me back into darkness. I stared down the edge of it in my mind for a minute before I placed the phone back in its cradle. I shrugged back on my coat and nearly jogged out into the misty rain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When I pulled up outside the Blacks’ small, red-painted home, Jacob busted through the front door before I could even leave the cab of my truck. His smile was wide as he sprinted to open my truck door and pulled me down into a hug. I was immediately swallowed up in his arms. He was no longer the lanky boy I remembered. He’d clearly gone through a growth spurt. An aggressive growth spurt. He was broad and muscled; tendons and veins noticeable under his russet-brown skin. His face had the same goofy sweetness, but it was sharper. And - was that stubble along his jawline? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Jacob!” I laughed as he lifted me off my feet and spun me in a wide circle. The idle engine of the truck rumbled behind us. The smile on my face was genuine and carefree. I was surprised by this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he finally sat me back on my feet, my hands remained on his biceps to keep my legs steady. I had to lean my head back to even meet his gaze, causing my jacket’s hood to slip and letting cold rain droplets pelt my face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, steroids are bad for you,” I exclaimed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed, his eyes crinkling. “Six five,” he announced with self-satisfaction, motioning his hand in a sweep down his body. I was still taken aback by how deep his voice had gotten. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I just stared up at him in amazement, until he said, “C’mon, I saw the next showing of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dead End </span>
  </em>
  <span>is at 7, I don’t wanna be late.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I scrambled back into the cab, but he’d somehow beaten me, already grinning at me with his seatbelt on securely. I huffed as I buckled myself in and put the truck in reverse. His eyes kept glancing toward the empty husk where my stereo had been. A glimmer of pain flickered through my abdomen while I waited for him to ask about it. But, thankfully, by design or just because he didn’t care to know, he kept the conversation elsewhere. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“When I have my Rabbit finished, I’ll be able to drive to you and you won’t have to play chauffeur,” he smirked and leaned back in the seat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t say picking up a friend is playing chauffeur, but sure.” His spine straightened a little at that. I hoped it was okay to consider him a friend already. “How is the Rabbit going?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s almost finished! It’s a 1968, a classic, so parts have been kinda hard to find. But my dad made good on his promise last spring.” Then, his wide smile faltered and he glanced at me sideways. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It took a second for my brain to catch-up. And when it did, I almost swerved off the roadway leading us out of the reservation. I didn’t want to think about prom. Or who took me there. That Billy had bribed Jacob with money and car parts to deliver a warning. To stay as far away from my date as possible. Turns out, his concern hadn’t been necessary after all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For the rest of the ride, Jacob managed to keep a steady flow of conversation going. He almost immediately launched into a story about the trouble his friend Quil had stirred up when asking out a senior’s girlfriend. Apparently, it had taken all of his and Embry’s efforts to keep Quil from getting his ass kicked. I thought I’d have to fake interest, but I found myself laughing and asking questions. And not once did my mind wander back to May and the prom and how different I’d thought my senior year would be. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As we neared the outskirts of Port Angeles, Jacob said, “Enough about me though. Tell me about Forks. You’re a </span>
  <em>
    <span>senior</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yupp. I am.” I didn’t really know what he wanted me to say. Did he want to hear about my senior English essay? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I mean, there must be so much going on! Parties!” His mind would turn to parties. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not really the party type, Jake,” I chuckled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we’ll need to remedy that immediately.” He gave a resolute nod of his head. “No wonder you were in need of a night out. You’re only going to be a senior once, Bella.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, erm, I wouldn’t even know how to find a party. Your friends are a lot more interesting than mine.” In truth, I wasn’t sure if this was accurate. I realized I’d barely spoken to Angela or Jess outside of school. And I’d been resolutely ignoring Mike at work. For all I knew, they were beer bonging and hosting orgies every weekend. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then consider yourself invited to the next res shindig.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“As long as you can promise to keep Quil from hitting on me, consider me there.” Why did I say that? I could barely make it through an average school day, let alone a “shindig.” But Jacob’s energy was hard to stave off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of laughing as expected, he frowned. “I think Quil would like you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s a little young for me, don’t you think?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob’s eyebrows pieced together. “He’s only a year and a few months younger than you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps we weren’t talking about Quil after all. “Sure, but considering the difference in maturity between guys and girls, shouldn’t that be counted in dog years or something? I’m really around twelve years older.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so small. No way,” he laughed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not my fault you’re a freak of nature. My height is perfectly average, thank you very much.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>We continued bantering about the correct formula to determine our age difference until I was parallel parked in front of the theater. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ready to go watch zombies rip some heads off?” Jacob was nearly bouncing in his seat. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t be a fun evening without a little carnage!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob insisted on paying for my ticket. And since I didn’t want to cause a scene in public, I let him. My cheeks blushed red, but it was nice to feel cared for. To distract from the implications, I teased him about owing me anyway because of the parts his dad got him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tickets secured, we made our way to our seats, hidden in the shadows of the back. Jacob and I joked our way through the previews, which I appreciated. I didn’t want to see if any romantic comedies were being advertised. But when the lights dimmed and the theater hushed, the fog from earlier seemed to crowd around me. Then, the movie screen lit up to show a young couple walking hand-in-hand along a beach, professing their love for each other. Pain lanced through me at the sight of those interlocked fingers. I spasmed with the memory of someone else’s icy hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought this was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>horror</span>
  </em>
  <span> movie,” I hissed at Jacob. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Er, this is a horror movie,” he whispered back, giving nervous glances to the couple in front of us who’d whipped around to glare at me. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then where are the zombies ripping off heads?” Jacob only chuckled and gripped my hand resting on the armrest between us. I wasn’t sure if it was because I’d just been thinking of frozen skin, but his palm was feverishly warm. I considered jerking away, but his touch was comforting. And it provided a distraction from the happiness on the actress's face as she looked up at her true love. I hoped her brains got eaten first. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As horrified screams blared from the speakers, I quickly removed my hand from under Jacob’s, resting it in my lap. I then paid intense attention to the rest of the movie, even laughing when Jacob jolted at a jump-scare. We huddled together as we watched the hero of the movie flee from a hoard of zombies.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was hard to ignore the irony that the emotionless faces of his pursuers reminded me of myself. But I didn’t feel like a zombie now. No, Jacob made me feel more alive than I had in months. And so, I began to see the hero of the movie as Jacob. Cutting down monsters, saving the helpless. He even managed to keep his girlfriend from being eaten. Maybe Jacob would be the hero of my story, saving me from myself - the only monster I’d come in contact with since </span>
  <em>
    <span>they</span>
  </em>
  <span> left. Perhaps my story wasn’t over the way I’d thought it had been. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When the credits rolled, I smiled warmly at Jacob. “So what’d you think? Scary enough?” I asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, could’ve used some more blood and guts.”  His warm laugh echoed around my head as we made our way from the theater back onto the street.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t realize you were such a horror fanatic. I’ll have to keep that in mind . . . for the future," he said. "Anyways, you hungry?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I turned my mind to my stomach and realized I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> hungry. I hadn’t felt genuinely hungry in months. Not really. I’d only eaten as part of routine. A way to fuel my body. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I could eat." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, what’re you in the mood for?” Jacob glanced up and down the brightly lit street. I followed his gaze, my eyes stopping on a pizza place a block down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Pizza.” Jacob’s eyes lit up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Pizza it is, then.” And we were off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The booth at the pizza place was slightly sticky but I relished in the aromas surrounding us. And when the large cheese pizza was placed in front of us, I tore in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn, Bells, forget to eat today?” Cheese and sauce dripped down my chin. I nodded in the affirmative, unsure of how to explain the numb emptiness I’ve been full of. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Together, we devoured the whole thing. And not once did I feel anxious about eating food in front of him. I realized how refreshing it was that he couldn’t hear me chew. Couldn’t hear me digesting. He actually enjoyed the taste of pizza. Unlike . . . </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone else</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I just kept smiling at him while he carried the conversation. He had an Algebra test coming up that he was nervous about. I offered to tutor him if he wanted. He seemed to like that idea. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When the waitress brought the check, I refused to let Jacob pay, He’d paid for the movie tickets, so I told him I’d cover this. He seemed skeptical but relented. I noticed the waitress staring him down. Her eyes lingered a little too long on the biceps bulging under his t-shirt. She was pretty enough, if not a little old for him. She kept twirling her blonde hair around a finger. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As we walked out of the restaurant, I tried to gauge if he’d noticed the attention. “So . . . the waitress seemed to like you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did she?” He murmured absentmindedly. We quickly crossed the street on our way back to the truck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, she was pretty. You should’ve given her your number or something.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He guffawed. “She wasn’t really my type.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I considered letting it drop. But I didn’t like that he’d ignored the pretty waitress. It reminded me too much of another dinner date in Port Angeles. “I mean, she was hot. How could that not be your type?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, one, she looked like she was at least in college. I hate to remind you of this, but I am only a sophomore in high school.” I rolled my eyes. “Second, like I said, she wasn’t my type. I go for nerdier brunettes who like scary movies.” My cheeks flamed at that, and I kept my gaze on my shoes. As I felt his eyes boring into me, I wracked my brain for a response. But I lost focus when I saw a group of four men lingering outside a bar. The neon sign above them read One-Eyed Pete’s. I paused without thinking. Jacob kept walking a couple paces, before freezing on the sidewalk. One of the men with dark brown hair looked up at me in interest. A strong wave of deja vu crashed through me. Another dark night in Port Angeles. Another group of men. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bella,” Jacob hissed, “come on, let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the memory of a silver Volvo speeding around a corner. “I think I know them . . .” My muscles surged to walk toward them. I knew a group of men staring at me in the dark should invoke fear. But what was there to fear? Nothing, not anymore. There would be no silver Volvo to save me this time. I had nothing left. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob suddenly grabbed my hand and started forcibly pulling me toward the truck. “Yeah, like hell.” Like that, he shattered the hold of those men and I remembered perhaps I did have reasons to be afraid. Reasons like Jacob. Charlie. Even Jessica and Angela. If I got hurt, I wouldn’t be the only one to face the repercussions. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When we were finally back into the cab, he laughed to diffuse the tension in the air. “Bella, you’re crazy. Where would you have gotten to know a bunch of men like that?” I had been hoping he wouldn’t ask. My hands shook as I turned the key in the ignition. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, um, I ran into a group like that the last time I was in Port Angeles. I guess I was mistaken anyway. I don’t think it was them.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob gave me a hard look. I cranked the heat and pulled out of the parking space, refusing to meet his eyes.  I switched the subject by getting Jacob to tell me more about his Rabbit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When I finally pulled up to his house on the reservation, a comfortable silence fell over us. I knew I needed to leave - I had work in the morning after all. But Jacob had been like a bandaid over the hole in my chest. It hadn’t gone away exactly, but he soothed the pain. I wasn’t eager to let that go. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, um.” He was quiet, hesitant. “When do I get to see you again?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tomorrow.” I didn’t phrase it as a question. I wasn’t going to give him a chance to keep me away. It didn’t seem like he wanted to anyway. His eyes gleamed at the suggestion. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure. Since it’s Saturday, maybe you could come over a little earlier?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I gotta work, but I can be here right after. I’ll even bring some homework.” He groaned comically then reached over to pull me into a side hug. He was almost hot to the touch - all that body mass must make him warmer or something. I leaned into him a moment longer than perhaps appropriate, but I still had to be the one to pull away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“See you tomorrow,” he said gruffly as he lept from the truck. I waited until he’d made it through his front door before pulling away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When I arrived home, I wasn’t surprised to see the porch light still on and the glare of the tv brightening the window. I plastered a smile on my face and found it wasn’t so hard to muster after my time with Jacob. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Charlie glanced up at me from the couch once I stumbled inside. He rose and crossed his arms over his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, Dad,” I said as I kept walking toward the stairs. While Jacob had kept the thoughts of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> at bay, I didn’t want to be around Charlie when the memories crushed me. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bella, where have you been?” Charlie demanded. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I stopped my hurrying, surprised. “I told you this morning I was going to a movie in Port Angeles. Because I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>improving</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” I put as much emphasis on the word as I could. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I called Jessica Stanley’s mom when you didn’t come home before dark. She told me Jessica hadn’t heard anything from you about a movie. So where were you really?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes. “I was at a movie. But I decided I wanted to go with Jake instead.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jacob Black?” That gave Charlie pause. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I hadn’t seen him in a while, so I called him after school.” Charlie looked me up and down. “You can call Billy now if you want to double check, but he probably wouldn’t appreciate being woken up.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Charlie gave a short nod, as if affirming that he would indeed be calling Billy at first light. “Did you kids at least have fun?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! We saw this zombie movie. It was so scary, even Jacob kept jumping in his seat.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Charlie gave a light chuckle, but his eyes stayed wide. These past few months must’ve been bad for him to be so surprised over me seeing a movie. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, get some sleep, Bells.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Night, Dad.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I nearly sprinted up the stairs, tripping over my feet at the top. I changed into a ratty pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt before I crawled into my bed. Then I stared at the ceiling and waited for the wave of pain to strike. It came, but it was muffled. My chest still felt like a ragged hole, but the hole wasn’t quite as big. Jacob had reminded me that I was capable of having fun. That I was capable of normal interaction without falling apart. My arms clenched around my middle, but no fog descended. I was strong enough to withstand it. I wasn’t going to fade away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I made it through the night without a single nightmare.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Twilight and any dialogue pulled from the books belong to Stephenie Meyer.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Newton’s was empty. It had been a slow morning. But for the first time in months, I’d made idle chatter with Mike. His jaw had literally dropped open when I’d said hello. Turned out zombie-Bella’s absence had turned into rudeness without me even realizing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Our only customers had been a pair of hikers who claimed they’d seen a massive bear in the woods. One had described it as, “Big as a house.” Thank goodness my clumsiness kept me from hiking. That and the memories of who I’d once wandered through the trees with at impossible speeds. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Mike told me to take off early, I took him up on it, flashing him a friendly smile on my way out. He again looked shocked. I resolved to be kinder to my high school friends starting on Monday.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I sped on my drive to the reservation. I was actually excited to see Jacob. I could already feel his warmth chasing away the darkness. The rumble of my engine must’ve alerted him that I was here, because he ran out from his house with a black umbrella to hold over my head as I dragged my backpack out of the truck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Jake!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me you actually brought homework . . . I thought you were joking.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t joke when it comes to Algebra. I thought I’d make good on my offer to tutor you. And maybe get some of my own work done too.” Jacob rolled his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Deal. But only if you agree to stay for dinner.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You strike a hard bargain, but I’ll take it.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I’d forgotten how small Jacob’s home was. How it housed his massive frame was beyond me. Let alone all the years with him and his sisters. While we set up our books on the slightly-slanted kitchen table, Billy wheeled out from the hallway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, Billy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s good to see you, Bella.” Billy gripped my hand briefly in greeting. He then eyed our makeshift workstation. “If you’re able to get this boy to do his homework, you’re welcome here, </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob’s cheeks flushed and his feet shuffled. “Aw, c’mon, dad. Don’t embarrass me in front of Bella.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Billy just chuckled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bella’s gonna stay for dinner, if that’s okay?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course it’s okay. I invited the Clearwaters too. Maybe I should give Charlie a call, see if he wants some of my super-secret spaghetti.” Jacob rolled his eyes, indicating the spaghetti may not be so secret. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I responded, “I’d feel bad leaving him to fend for himself.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then Billy rolled off back down the hall, leaving Jacob and I alone in the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I completely blanked that the Clearwaters will be here - I hope you don’t mind? I didn’t plan on this being a whole family thing.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course it’s okay!” I vaguely remembered the Clearwater kids, Leah and Seth. And Charlie would be happy to see Harry and Billy. “Maybe you can show me your Rabbit when Billy makes dinner?” Jacob looked near ready to burst from happiness. I wondered if it’d cause a supernova - my own personal sun. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll give you the grand tour of the garage.” His knee bounced against my thigh under the table. I didn’t move away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, so first things first, what are you covering in Algebra?” The warmth didn’t fade from his eyes as his smile turned into a deep frown. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do we really have to do this? You’re gonna think I only have like two brain cells.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No way, Jacob Black. No getting out of this one. And I already know there’s only one brain cell rattling up there.” I playfully tousled his shoulder length hair. I hadn’t seen it out of its usual ponytail before. It was so silky, I almost wanted to keep my fingers tangled in it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha. Very funny, Bells. Okay, say we talk linear functions?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Say we do,” I said, pulling his notebook toward me. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And so we spent the afternoon studying. I got none of my own work done, but I didn’t mind. It was worth seeing Jacob’s excitement when he would get a problem right. And when Billy made a reappearance in the kitchen to start on the spaghetti, Jacob led me by my hand out to his garage. He pointed out every new part added to his Rabbit, and I didn’t have to feign my enthusiasm despite knowing nothing about cars. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What felt like only minutes later, Charlie’s cruiser pulled into the drive and the Clearwaters walked over from their own home. Jacob and I came out to meet them, and Charlie pulled me into his side. A father proud to introduce his daughter. My heart, if it still existed anywhere in that void, would be swelling.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bella, you remember Harry and his wife Sue?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. Hey, Harry; Sue.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi, kid,” Harry responded, “glad to see you.” Sue radiated maternal energy with her hand gripped on the lean boy’s arm beside her. I gave the boy a soft smile. “This right here is Seth,” Harry said, in reference to his son. “And this is Leah.” He attempted to pull Leah into a posture similar to mine and Charlie’s, but Leah shrugged out of his grip. Harry’s grin faltered but otherwise, he didn’t let his emotion at the rejection show. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The son, Seth, immediately stepped forward to shake my hand. “Hey, Bella! I’ve heard all about you from Jake.” Jacob playfully swatted at Seth’s arm. I had a feeling Seth would be hearing about that comment later. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I turned to the daughter, Leah, expecting her to make a similar greeting. But she remained resolute beside Harry. Her expression wasn’t unwelcoming, but her wide eyes made me uncomfortable. I was grateful when Billy had us all help drag a folding table and chairs out from the garage - their kitchen wasn’t large enough for the lot of us.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The dinner conversation flowed easily. Although Leah never said much of anything, I grew to like Seth a great deal. He immediately treated me like a close friend, regaling me with tales of his freshman year of high school. He reminded me of a puppy with his wide, goofy smile. Jacob kept frowning while Seth monopolized my time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When the sun started to set, Harry, Sue, and Charlie went inside the house to help Billy clean up. Jacob stretched beside me, placing his arm on the back of my chair. I found myself staring at Leah. It wasn’t until then that I noticed how beautiful she was - probably the most stunning person I’d seen since </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Her long raven-black hair fell like a silken curtain around her sharp angles. And she was easily almost six feet tall. She could be a model if she wanted to. I wondered what made her so sullen. The scowl she gave me when she caught my eye sent my heart racing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once Charlie made his way back outside, I began my goodbyes, only avoiding Leah because she looked like she’d snap off my head if I approached her. Surprisingly, Seth gave me a tight hug then turned to Jacob. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bella will be at the bonfire next weekend, right?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jacob looked at me. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her, I haven’t told her about it yet.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What bonfire?” I asked, looking between the pair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A bunch of us were planning a bonfire down on the beach for Saturday now that the weather is warming back up," Jacob said. I almost laughed at the implication that </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>was warm. I’d be in a jacket till June. “It’d be a perfect opportunity for you to start socializing.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I laughed, remembering Jacob’s teasing about high school parties. “All right, consider me there.” Seth’s smile could only be matched by Jacob’s. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I followed Charlie on the drive home. Once again, the hole in my chest opened back up now that I was without my personal sunshine. But the ache didn’t pull me under. It was growing more and more manageable. I felt certain I wouldn’t be falling back into that fog again. Before going up to bed that night, I gave Charlie a hug and told him I loved him. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done so. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before going to sleep, I wrote Renee a lengthy email detailing my week - it was the most I’d written since September, and a twinge of regret tore through me at the thought. I’d essentially abandoned my parents. Both of them. I volunteered as much information as I could drudge up as a way to make up for lost time. I hoped it would ease any worries she’d had these past months. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<span>I slept fitfully but couldn’t remember my dream. And from the stare Charlie gave me at breakfast, I knew I hadn’t screamed at all. I didn’t mind his concern. I’d be concerned if I was him. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>concerned for myself. While my brain finally felt clear and the pain in my chest had faded to a dull throb, two days wasn’t enough to consider myself cured. Especially since Jacob had been necessary to keep me present. So with grim determination, I spent the rest of my weekend preparing to reintegrate myself at Forks High on Monday.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I barely managed to pay attention in Calculus. I continuously stared at Jessica, but her thick halo of curls kept her from noticing. Thankfully, Mr. Varner didn’t call on me, leaving me to plan out my greeting. Nothing seemed right. I couldn’t even remember the last time Jessica and I had spoken. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Jess?” I called out at the end of class when she began gathering up her notebooks. I grimaced, expecting her to ignore me. Part of me was hoping she would.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She whipped around to face me, with furrowed brows. “Are you talking to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Bella?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, who else!” I plastered a wide-eyed smile on my face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If you’re looking for help with Calculus, talk to someone else.” She turned back around to leave, but I lurched forward to stand in her way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Er, no.” I shook my head to emphasize the point. “I wanted to know if maybe you’d want to have a girls’ night with me Friday?” She gave me a dubious look. “I’ll ask Angela too!” I hoped someone else being there would make the offer more appealing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you asking </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” She asked, still unfriendly. She made a good point. We hadn’t spoken in so long, she likely no longer considered me a friend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the first person I think of when I want girl time.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Could’ve fooled me, Bella.” She flipped some curls over her shoulder and made to walk around me. This was going much worse than I’d anticipated, but I soldiered on, trotting after her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know I’ve been, uh, a little distant recently. But I miss you - and Angela.” Again, I tacked on Angela at the end in an attempt to come off less intense. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jessica slowed down and looked me up and down. “Well, I don’t know. What did you want to do?” Shit. I hadn’t thought this far ahead. What did girls do for ‘girl time’? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You and Angela could come over. Charlie works nights on Fridays. We could watch movies or something! Order takeout.” Jessica’s mouth pursed while she considered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, alright. But I get to pick the movie. No boring classics.” She would find classic movies boring, but my shoulders sagged with relief.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a deal! I’ll invite Angela at lunch.” Jessica stalked away then. I considered that a successful encounter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My fourth period class let out late, so my lunch table was nearly full by the time I made it to the cafeteria. Mike, Jessica, Angela, Conner, Tyler, Eric, and Lauren were all there. But so were Katie Marshall - the redheaded junior who lived on my street - and Austin Marks. Since when had that happened? I could’ve kicked myself. How had I missed so much of my own life? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The conversations at the table washed over me as I strategically sat in the empty chair beside Angela. I got several surprised looks, indicating that perhaps I didn’t typically sit here. Lauren was asking Angela about Ben. So they were still together. That was good. I had liked Ben. Angela described a thwarted picnic, saying her and Ben had been spooked by a giant bear. Lauren and Jessica were arguing with her, saying no bear would be that close to their picnic spot. I didn’t like them ganging up on Angela, and Mike wasn’t paying attention, so I jumped in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Angela’s right. Newton’s had some hikers in on Saturday who saw the bear too. They said it was huge and just outside of town. Right, Mike?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was mortified by the stares I got from around the table. Even the new girl, Katie, had her mouth hanging open. But Mike saved me by backing up my story. After the rest of the table finally lost interest, I turned to Angela, but could feel Mike’s stare on my back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for sticking up for me,” she said in a soft voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem. That’s what friends are for.” The smile she gave me was genuine. It seemed she wouldn’t take convincing like Jessica. “So, I was hoping you’d maybe want to come over on Friday with Jessica.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Angela took a big bite out of her sandwich before she responded. “I’d love to, Bella. I’ve missed you.” My heart gave a twinge. Another person I’d let down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you too.” She gripped my hand under the table, squeezing it tight enough to hurt. But I didn’t mind. When she loosened her fingers, I hung on. And so, Angela ate the rest of her lunch one-handed. I struggled to keep the tears swimming in my eyes from leaking out. They weren’t from sadness. No, not really. It’d been so long since I’d felt anything at all, perhaps my body didn’t know how to properly respond to happiness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That afternoon, instead of going home to my empty house, I found myself back at La Push. A small part of my brain worried that I’d already become too dependent on Jacob, but the larger part of me thought I shouldn’t try to distance myself from the person who’d helped me wake up from my months-long sleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I didn’t bother to knock on the door when I entered Jacob’s house. As the door banged shut behind me, Jacob bolted down the hallway to stop only inches away. My body felt lighter the moment I saw him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bella! You didn’t say you were coming down today.” He glanced nervously at his sweatpants and mismatched socks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope it’s okay I’m here. I was thinking maybe we could study together again?” I motioned toward the heavy bag laden with books still strapped to my back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure sure.” He shifted his weight back and forth. “You wanna set up shop at the table . . . or my room?” His eyebrows lifted. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d love to see your room.” Perhaps I’d been rude not asking for a tour the first time I had been here. Jacob’s face got impossibly brighter at my affirmative response. He grabbed me by the hand and led me down the hall. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Billy?” The silence throughout the rest of the house was noticeable enough for me to ask. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He went over to Harry’s, won’t be back till later.” He shrugged then pushed open the door to the right of the hall with a creak, revealing a small room with a single window. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not much, but it’s cozy, ya know?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My first thought was that there was no way that twin-sized bed was able to hold all of him. My next thought was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow, that’s a lot of car posters</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I plopped myself down on the bed because there was nowhere else to sit. Jacob sat beside me, leaning against the headboard. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I like it!” I said, letting my eyes roam appreciatively. It was impeccably clean for a teenage boy’s room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t think the car posters are too much?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, they’re definitely too much. But they’re you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure if I should consider that an insult or not!” He playfully pushed my shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was able to convince Jacob to do some homework with me. I’d promised to go out to the garage with him later if he stayed focused. With that, he bent over a biology textbook, his eyes narrowed in concentration. And after he looked back up at me with triumph, highlighter ink staining his fingers, we made our way out back. I sat on a stool while Jacob popped open the hood of the Rabbit and began prodding around. I admired the way his large hands managed to handle all the parts with such delicacy. I was awash with the knowledge that this garage was Jacob’s domain. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I would’ve stayed much longer, but I needed to get home to make Charlie’s dinner. Jacob nearly pouted when I said my goodbye. “Tell Billy I’m sorry I missed him!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll be back?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll be here everyday if you’ll have me.” Jacob’s mouth curved slightly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“As long as we don’t do homework all the time.” I only rolled my eyes before heading back to my truck. Perhaps I didn’t need to feel guilty about taking up so much of Jacob’s time. I was clearly a good influence if I was the only reason he was getting work done. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So - the rest of my week took up a steady rhythm. I talked with Angela - and occasionally Mike and Jessica - at school. I spent my afternoons with Jacob. Then told Charlie about my day over dinner, going into unnecessary detail. I kept waiting for the pain in my chest to subside, but every night, I had to keep my arms wrapped around my middle. Perhaps this pain was a permanent fixture. The price I had to pay for those brief moments of my own personal fairy tale.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thursday night, over the leftover lasagna I’d heated up, I broached the issue of Angela and Jessica coming over. I hadn’t had anyone over since </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I didn’t want to take Charlie by surprise. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Jessica and Angela are going to come over tomorrow?” I had intended the words to come out as a statement but they still sounded like a question. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Charlie’s eyes widened but his face settled into a soft smile. “That’s great, Bells. What’re you girls going to do?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we’re gonna watch a movie. Maybe paint our nails or something, I don’t know.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Charlie mulled that over while he took a sip of his water. Then, he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and slid a twenty dollar bill across the table to me. “In case you need . . . anything. Popcorn, nail polish, whatever.” I flashed him my brightest smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The following day, right after school, I stopped at the pharmacy. I picked up two boxes of popcorn (sea salt and butter) and then meandered over to browse the nail polishes. There were so many options, I was overwhelmed. I hardly ever painted my nails. The only time I could remember was - </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>An image of a small girl with spiky black hair flashed through my mind, and I found myself crouching in the aisle. I couldn’t let myself dwell on it. At least not in public. Instead, I forced myself to imagine what colors Jessica and Angela would like. For Jessica, I chose a deep maroon. It matched a sweater she’d worn on Wednesday. Angela was a soft baby pink. I couldn’t pinpoint why, since I’d never seen her wear that color before. But it seemed the most like her personality. And for myself, I grabbed a midnight blue. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>At home, I paced in the living room until I heard a car pull up outside. I tried not to look overeager when I flung open the front door after the first knock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela smiled up at me. Jessica looked politely bored. I guessed that was the best I could hope for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Bella!” Angela chirped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, guys!” I responded, perhaps too enthusiastically. “Come on in.” I now felt awkward about the popcorn, nail polish, and selection of movies I had strewn across the living room coffee table. It was entirely too formal. I was filled with regret when Jessica smirked at the sight of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, Bella, this is so cute,” Angela said. “Jess and I were just talking about how happy we are to be hanging out again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Jessica added on, as she began sorting through the pile of DVD discs. “You have a lot of movies, Bella.”  It became clear that the stack to her right were the rejects while the much shorter stack to the left were possibilities. I had to admit I was impressed by how quickly Jessica made herself at home on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, yeah. I think Charlie overcompensated when I moved here. He wasn't sure what I’d like.” I didn’t know what more to say, so I looked to Angela for help. She just shrugged her shoulders and went to look through the movies Jessica had deemed acceptable. Immediately, she pulled one out - the cover read </span>
  <em>
    <span>13 Going on 30</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Jess, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>to watch this one! The Thriller dance sequence is so good!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh.” Jessica twisted an errant curl around a finger. “I don’t know. I like </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>watched that with Conner.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela rolled her eyes for my benefit. “We all know you didn’t actually watch it, Jess. You were too busy shoving your tongue down Conner’s throat.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ew, shut up!” Jessica smacked Angela with a threadbare throw pillow. I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Is that what Conner told you?” Angela laughed so hard she snorted. “Did he? Angela, I SWEAR. Tell me everything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I settled into the space beside Angela and tucked my knees into my chest while they discussed Jessica’s latest tryst. Was this the type of life I had to look forward to? Boys who gave me sloppy kisses and tried to feel me up after the first date? The hole in my chest flared at the thought. It would be impossible for any other boy to compare with the one I’d had. I held my arms across my chest and told myself that was okay. Not everyone was destined for romance. I’d already had my love story - however brief it’d been. It’d be greedy of me to expect more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Jessica stood up to start the movie, Angela leaned her head against my shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asked, too soft for Jessica to hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I definitely wasn’t okay but - “I’m getting better.” I felt her nod, and then she linked her fingers with mine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was stunned that when Jessica sat back down, she curled against Angela’s side. I hadn’t thought it was possible for me to feel this comfortable with human friends. Jessica popped open a bag of the butter popcorn, and I grabbed a handful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the opening sequence, Angela’s proximity was the only thing that kept me from falling apart. The two of them had picked out a romantic comedy. I should’ve set some ground rules on what I’d be willing to sit through, but I’d been too nervous earlier. So instead of watching closely, I leaned forward and broke the seal on the dark blue bottle of nail polish. I had no clue what I was doing, but I needed to distract myself. I winced when I covered almost my entire knuckle with paint. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, Bella, you’re awful at that,” Jessica chortled. Angela let out a displeased hiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, yeah, I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’ve never painted my nails before. Someone’s always done it for me.” Angela nodded her head sympathetically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I tried not to let the shock show on my face when Jessica rose to sit across from me at the coffee table. She eased the polish’s brush out of my hand and began painting my nails. Angela and I shared a significant look. I guess I’d earned Jessica’s forgiveness for my antisocial behavior at last. She glanced up at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you’re paying attention, Bella. I’m only doing your right hand, then you’re on your own.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jess!” Angela admonished. “I’ll do it if she won’t, Bella.” I smirked but kept my eyes glued on Jessica’s movements. And when she’d finished my right pinky finger, I took the brush back from her and began to painstakingly coat my nails. I didn’t really see myself bothering to do this ever again in the future, but having the ability to do so felt like power. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Next time, Bella, I’m teaching you how to do your makeup. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you literally never wear any,” Jessica said as she settled back into the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella knows how to do her own makeup if she wanted to, Jess. Right, Bella?” Angela was clearly eager to come to my aid against any potential assault from Jessica. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually I don’t. I’ve never really had the need to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, your makeup was so pretty for prom -” Angela cut herself off when my shoulders hunched against the pain. I forced myself to focus on my breathing to keep from being sucked into a memory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As if Bella would be able to do that herself,” Jessica scoffed, her prickly personality saving me. I gripped my knees while I watched my nails dry and listened to Angela and Jessica react to a dramatic moment in the movie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, Jess, if you’re free, maybe you could do my makeup tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What for?” she mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My friend Jacob invited me to a bonfire down at La Push.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like a </span>
  <em>
    <span>party</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Angela squeaked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I don’t know about a party per se but it’ll be a bunch of kids from the reservation high school.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up," Jessica said. “Is Jacob that guy who crashed prom?” I nodded. “He’s cute,” she mused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell him you said so,” I laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better be careful, Jess, or Conner’ll get mad,” Angela giggled, joining in on the joke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever. Conner can get over it.” Jessica waved her hand in the air to indicate that Conner wasn’t a concern. “Okay, I’ll do your makeup as long as I can dress you too. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And</span>
  </em>
  <span> if I can snag an invite. I’ll tell Jacob how hot he is </span>
  <em>
    <span>myself</span>
  </em>
  <span>, thanks very much.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I gnawed my lip, debating whether Jacob would mind if I brought a friend. Angela gave me a hard look before jumping in. “Jess, Jacob is </span>
  <em>
    <span>clearly </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bella’s. You’ll have to settle for one of his friends.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, not that. You’re welcome to go for it, Jess, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>a sophomore.” She sneered at that. “And yeah, sure, I think it would be okay if you came. Angela you’re invited too, of course.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Per-fect.” Jessica said, pronouncing each syllable distinctly. “Conner and Mike will </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span> when they hear I went to a La Push party.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela rolled her eyes. “Yes, because the world revolves around Jessica Stanley.” Then she turned to me. “I’d love to come with, Bella.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica flipped her hair over her shoulder and gave a </span>
  <em>
    <span>hmph</span>
  </em>
  <span> as if to indicate that she thought that yes, of course, the world orbited around her tiny shoulders. The rest of the evening passed without incident. Halfway through the movie, we ordered pizza, making me think of my last weekend with Jacob. Which led me to telling Jessica and Angela all about him and the time we’ve been spending together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He sounds dreamy,” Angela sighed, flopping back into the couch and clutching a hand to her stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“More like steamy,” Jessica snickered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My cheeks blazed red, but I stood my ground. “It’s not like that with Jake.” Angela and Jessica shared a look that ended with Jessica waggling her eyebrows. “Seriously, Jake is just a friend.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica snickered. “Whatever you say, Bella. I don’t know many people who blush like that over someone who’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>just a friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela smiled timidly. “Well, I think the two of you would be cute together, Bella.” I fake gagged at the suggestion, sending them both into hysterics. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d joked around like this. Still, my arm snaked around my middle at the idea of myself with someone who wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But at least I didn’t have to struggle to keep a smile on my face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Angela and Jessica left, each giving me a tight hug as they walked out the door, the house felt too quiet. It pressed down on me, making it hard to breathe. I set my mind to cleaning up the living room, which led to me noticing that Angela and Jessica hadn’t touched the nail polish I’d set out for them. I frowned and glanced at my fingers. Sitting cross-legged on the rug, I began picking off the polish, only leaving every third finger blue. Then, when I was satisfied with the demolition, I painted the rest of my hand a combination of the maroon and light pink. The result was messy, but the sight of the three colors together filled me with warmth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, I readied myself for bed and put on a CD, not wanting to fall asleep to my own thoughts. My lucky streak of no nightmares ended that night. When I closed my eyes, I found myself in a dark, misty forest. I stumbled through the trees as roots kept leaping from the ground to grab my ankles. I caught a glimpse of bronze hair in front of me, so far away it barely seemed real. I called out to him, begging him to help me. But he kept disappearing into the dark - my feet weren’t fast enough to keep up. Another root took me down, wrapping around my calf like a vice. Dirt filled my mouth when I hit the ground. In desperation, I continued trying to crawl to him. But my limbs wouldn’t move. I was frozen as the roots smothered me into the earth. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to everyone reading this fic, leaving kudos, and commenting! I'm so happy to be sharing my ideas for New Moon. This chapter may have been a bit slow, but hey, this is gonna be a slow burn and Bella deserves human friends dammit!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I woke up screaming. Thankfully, Charlie was still accustomed enough to my nightmares that he didn’t come barreling through my door. The sun had yet to rise, but I forced myself to get up. It wasn’t raining - a good sign for the bonfire later. I poured a bowl of cereal for breakfast and put some laundry in the washing machine. For the rest of the morning, I worked on my homework, getting ahead for the following week. I was mostly through the essay I had due for English on Thursday when I decided to call Jacob and warn him that Angela and Jessica were coming with me tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Jacob’s voice was still gravelly from sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, sleepyhead! Have a late night?” I was rewarded with a brusque laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have no right to be so chipper this early.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes. “It’s almost eleven, Jake.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly.” Note to self, Jacob was not a morning person. “So what can I do for you, Bells? I missed you yesterday.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I had missed him too, but I wasn’t willing to admit as much. “Well lucky for you, you get to see me tonight.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, the bonfire! I’m glad you didn’t forget. I told Embry and Quil you were coming.” So he talked about me to his friends. My brain automatically catalogued that information to share with Jessica and Angela later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, well, I kinda invited my friends Jessica and Angela, um, if that’s okay?” I heard a whoosh of air as Jacob exhaled heavily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> senior girls. Quil is gonna freak. Embry too.” I snorted. I should’ve known he wouldn’t care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Between you and me, Jessica thinks you’re hot.” I waited for his response, anxious for some reason.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, let’s hope she thinks the same about Quil or Embry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, let’s hope. Although, Jess is a handful.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So are Quil and Embry. A perfect match,” he chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. So what time should I drive down?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, probably around eight? I’ll wait at the house for you, then we can all walk down to the beach.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like a plan, I’ll see you then, Jake.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I hung up just as Charlie made his way downstairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Dad. How was your night at the station?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uneventful. Was that Jake on the phone?” he asked, settling down at the kitchen table while I sat a bowl of cereal in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was! Jessica, Angela, and I are heading down to the res tonight for a bonfire.” He scowled slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You be careful.” Charlie frowned, probably thinking of all the dangerous things a gathering of teenagers could get into.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad, don't worry. We’re all just hanging out together.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter, you be safe, you hear me?” His gruff words were laced with affection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yessir,” I said, giving him a brief kiss atop the head before making my way back to the phone to tell Jessica and Angela what time to come over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were both promptly at my front door at 6:30, Jessica lugging a giant bag with her that I was horrified to learn contained makeup. Sure, I'd wanted her to maybe put some mascara on me, but why had she brought so much? Charlie was warm but awkward with my two friends, asking about their parents and how school was going. Jessica actually managed to seem sweet, foregoing her usual quips for words dripping with honey. I could see how she’d convinced the rest of the senior class to vote her student council president. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I’d finally ushered the pair upstairs, Angela threw her arms around my neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella! I’m so happy to see you!” I gripped her back, my fingers interlacing around her waist. I kept a watchful eye on Jessica as she made her way around my room, filing through my things with an intensity. She took particular interest in my CD collection. I was grateful I’d recently made efforts to keep my room tidier. Jessica didn’t need anything else to judge me for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m happy you came, Ang.” Genuinely I was. I wasn’t sure how I’d have handled Jessica alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your room is . . . cute, Bella,” Jessica said, sitting on the edge of the bed and picking at my duvet. “You really like purple.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, well Charlie thinks I do.” I flushed a little. Was purple bad? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think purple is nice,” Angela chimed in. At least I could count on Angela to have my back. I loosened myself from Angela’s grip and went to sit at my desk chair. Angela plopped down beside Jessica, holding one of my pillows in her lap. It was strange seeing the two of them in my bedroom. Only two other people had been in here, and neither had ever really looked like they belonged. They had been like cutouts from Vogue randomly placed in my tiny, high school bedroom. But Jessica and Angela - they fit here. The thought made me smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what you’re wearing, is it?” Jessica rolled her eyes. Well, there went my smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I looked down at my flannel and jeans. It seemed appropriate for a bonfire. Then I scrutinized what Jessica was wearing. A white top that hugged her ribs before flaring out. Tight, light wash jeans with rips along the knee tucked into calf-high boots. A jacket with fur along the collar. None of it seemed particularly special to me. Angela was dressed more sensibly in a thick, knit sweater underneath a puffer jacket and grey corduroy pants. The bright pink beanie she’d had on earlier was now gripped tightly in her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, you wear a flannel like every day.” Jessica said that like it was a bad thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela immediately jumped to defend me. “I think you look great, Bella. Jessica just wishes she looked that good in flannel.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As if!” Jessica scoffed and shoved her hand against Angela’s shoulder. Jessica stood and began rifling through my closet. Thankfully, she ignored the black trash bag hiding in the back corner. I wasn’t sure how I’d explain that, or its contents.  I winced when she finally landed on a dark blue blouse hidden behind a stack of sweaters. Guess I’d forgotten to banish that one into the trash bag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is cute.” I barely heard her. My ears were too busy ringing with the compliments of a silky smooth voice from my other life. The edges of the hole in my chest burned with fresh wounds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ooo,” Angela echoed, “yes, I like that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I clutched at my chest but managed to give Jessica an appreciative smile. “Thanks, Jess, but I’m okay with my boring flannel.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Bella, but I’m not taking no as an option.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jess . . .” Angela warned. But I got up and grabbed the shirt, changing into it right away. I was so consumed with not hyperventilating, I didn’t even feel embarrassed at disrobing in front of my friends. I glanced in the mirror and was happy to see that, even though the shirt was the same, the rest of me wasn’t. I was more gaunt, the hollows under my eyes and cheeks noticeably darker. My cheekbones were more prominent. The blouse hung looser around my shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I gave a little twirl for Jessica’s benefit. “There, better?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, much. Now, onto makeup.” Jessica came to stand behind me, staring at my face in the mirror. “What sort of look were you thinking?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, something simple please?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica sighed but nodded, as if it wasn’t worth fighting over. She sat me back down at my desk and got to work. Her and Angela peppered me with questions about Jacob and his friends, but I had few answers. I’d only met Seth and Leah. And Leah had barely spoken to me. An idle part of my mind wondered if she would be there tonight. The rest of me focused on telling Angela and Jessica everything I knew about Quil and Embry. They both giggled when I mentioned Quil’s affinity for senior girls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’ve found your new man, Jess,” Angela joked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No way, Ang, her heart belongs to Mike,” I chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think Conner would disagree with that!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh would the both of you just quit. My heart doesn’t belong to either of them,” Jessica sniffed. For the first time, I considered the fact that Jessica had gone through a break-up herself. Albeit not with a supernatural being. I wondered if she had a similar hole carved inside her. She certainly didn’t seem like it, but maybe her snide remarks were a defense mechanism.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, Jess,” Angela said. “Well when you’re back to playing tonsil hockey with Conner next weekend, I’ll just say I told you so.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re one to talk, Ang. I saw you and Ben outside the gym on Friday. It looked like he was practically eating your face.” Angela flushed red, but she still laughed lightly.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica swiveled the chair I was sitting in to face the mirror. “Tada - my masterpiece!” Angela clapped her hands together with a squeal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella! You look so pretty! Me next, Jess.” I stood so Angela could take my place in the chair, but I didn’t let my eyes leave the mirror. Jessica had helped fill me out. Rosy pink sat atop my cheekbones. My eyelids were painted so my eyes looked bigger. A swipe of eyeliner drew my face into angles I did not possess. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, Jess, thank you. I - love it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>welcome</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Bella,” her voice was filled with self-satisfaction. “Next time, I’m going to show you how to do it yourself. And maybe we can go shopping for makeup. That way you don’t have to keep dragging me over here.” I actually liked the idea of being able to make myself feel this attractive without needing to rely on anyone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We left once Jessica was satisfied that Angela and I both looked “adequate.” She had bemoaned the fact that the shirt she’d picked out for me was now covered by a bulky jacket. I said a brief goodbye to Charlie, promising to be careful and telling him not to wait up. Charlie told me not to hesitate to call if I needed him to come pick us up. I winced at that, but Jessica and Angela just smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica was averse to taking my truck. “Bella, we can’t even play music on the way. It’s lame.” But Angela agreed that since I knew the way to Jacob’s it just made sense for me to drive. Jessica only grumbled about my lack of stereo every five minutes on the drive down. Angela laughed every time she did. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jacob was waiting for us, leaning against the side of his house with his arms crossed. He gave a broad smile at the sight of my truck. I parked in a hurry, then focused on my footing as I clamored out of the cab, not wanting to take a spill in front of Jessica and Angela.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella! You made it.” He strolled over, hands in his pockets. I got the impression that his casual pace was for our audience. Once my feet were safely on the ground, I gave him a tight hug then turned to Jessica and Angela who’d managed to get out of the truck with much less ordeal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake, this is Jessica - and this is Angela,” I grandly gestured to each of them as I said their respective names. Jacob reached out to shake their hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pleasure to meet you ladies.” They both blatantly stared at him with mouths wide open. Apparently, they’d noticed his growth spurt too. “I’m glad Bella invited you. I was starting to believe she’d made up her Forks friends since she’s here almost every day.” Jessica gave me a pointed look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, here we are, in the flesh,” Jessica responded, moving her lips a little more than necessary on ‘flesh’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you, Jacob! Bella has said such nice things,” Angela added on. I could’ve groaned from chagrin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Jacob could respond, I jumped in. “Yeah, yeah, let’s get moving to this bonfire, shall we?” All three of them laughed at that. I’d created a dangerous coalition. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We made our way down to the beach. Angela and Jessica had no trouble peppering Jacob with questions the whole way there. Jacob kept grabbing my hand when I tripped over the uneven ground in the dark. Each time, Angela’s eyes went wide. I heard the crashing of waves right when I spotted the bright orange of the bonfire. A group of about twenty people sat on driftwood surrounding it. As we approached, two figures broke off from the group and jogged over to meet us. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A pair of tall, dark-skinned boys materialized out of the shadows. One was thin and almost as tall as Jacob. His black hair hung to his chin, and he had one side tucked behind his ear. The other boy was stockier in build. He was significantly shorter, but his sweatshirt strained over his muscles. His hair was so short it was almost a buzz cut. Both boys’ eyes immediately honed in on me.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, guys,” Jacob greeted them enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hell-o Jake,” the short one said. Jessica coughed to alert the boys to her presence. That put an impish grin on the short one’s face. I couldn’t help but smile in response myself. It was like Jessica would wither and die if she didn’t get enough attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quil, Embry - this is Bella, Jessica, and Angela.” Like I had earlier, Jacob pointed to us as he said our names.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quil and Embry shared a devilish look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” the tall one said shyly, waving one hand limply at his side. “I’m Embry. Embry Call.” His smile was sweet and still boyish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, ladies, I’m Quil Ateara,” the short one announced, puffing out his chest. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at that, but Jessica giggled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hands were shaken and more greetings exchanged before we approached the fire as a group. I squinted my eyes to see. There were mostly teenage boys strewn about, but a couple girls as well. I recognized Seth, sitting on the sand and talking animatedly to a boy with a long braid bound down his back. At the edge of the circle, I saw Leah watching Seth as well. She sat by herself. Somehow, she looked even angrier than the last time I’d seen her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did Paul end up coming?” Jacob asked Quil and Embry. I couldn’t remember him mentioning a Paul before. The look Quil and Embry exchanged this time was filled with worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naw, he’s too busy hanging out with Sam and Jared. Probably doing cult things,” Quil chuckled. Cult things? I waited for Jacob to laugh, but his lips pressed together in a thin line. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys have a cult?” Jessica asked with a playful tone. Angela looked a little more worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Jacob interceded. “No cults. Just some kids at our high school started hanging out with this older guy. It’s weird. But definitely not an actual cult.” I could hear in his voice that Jacob was much more worried about it than he was willing to let on in front of Angela and Jessica. I made a mental note to ask him about it later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As we neared the larger group, Jessica sidled up to Quil’s side. “You know, I’ve never seen the ocean out here at night.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re kidding!” Quil gasped. Embry shook his head and made eye contact with Jacob who smirked. “You know, it’s actually kinda hard to see in the glare of the fire. Maybe we should take a walk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost immediately, Jessica latched onto Quil’s arm and he led her down the beach, away from the warmth of the fire. I shook my head in wonder - Jess worked fast. Angela, Embry, Jacob, and I all sat beside Seth and the long haired boy, who I learned was Collin Littlesea, another freshman. Both him and Seth tried hard to seem cool and aloof, making me giggle periodically. Some of the older kids in attendance, including Jacob, were drinking from assorted cans and bottles. I wasn’t sure I liked the way Jacob’s words started to meld together, but I did like the feel of his arm around my shoulder and the way his laugh reverberated through my body. I refrained because I was driving - and had never drank before in my life. But Angela sipped shyly from a can. I noticed the effects when she started to laugh at everything Jacob and Embry said.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the night continued, I decided I could be friends with Embry. He was quiet but funny. Him and Jacob bantered like brothers, and Jacob’s affection for him influenced my own. Angela was having a good time too. I was pleased by how well she melded into my relationship with Jacob. It felt like we’d all been friends for ages. And since Jessica and Quil had yet to make a reappearance, I could only assume they were hitting it off. I questioned whether she had actually liked him so quickly, or if she’d just wanted a story to tell at school on Monday. I’d bet on the latter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite the good time I was having, my eyes kept lingering on Leah. She was still sitting by herself at the edge of the circle. Her gaze never faltered from Seth, even though I was sure she had to feel the weight of my stares. While she looked angry, I was still overwhelmed by her beauty. I couldn’t understand why all the boys here were ignoring her. Just like at dinner last week, I was drawn to her. And I felt bad that she was sitting by herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I leaned over Jacob to catch Seth’s attention. “Seth, why’s Leah here?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t being rude. But it was pretty obvious she didn’t belong with this group. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seth groaned comically, making a face at Collin beside him. “My mom wouldn’t let me come unless Leah came to keep an eye on me. I literally had to pay Leah to be here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let out a surprised laugh. That explained why she looked so miserable. I turned to Jacob and carefully extricated myself from under his arm. “I’ll be right back.” I said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob softly grabbed my wrist. “Wait, where are you going?” Angela looked up at me too, stealing her attention away from Embry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, I’m gonna go say hi to Leah.” Was that too strange? She was another senior girl. And we were family friends, technically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t bother, she’s miserable,” Jacob chuckled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seth added with an air of expertise, “Yeah, she’s not fun to talk to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook Jake off. “I’m just going over to be nice. I’ll be back before you miss me.” Jacob frowned, but Angela waved me off. As I walked over to Leah, I looked down the beach and spotted the silhouettes of Quil and Jessica in the distance. Quil had his arm wrapped around Jessica’s waist as they strolled at the edge of the surf. I hoped she’d come back soon. I wanted her and Jacob to get to know each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Leah realized I was approaching her, she glared. My cheeks flushed, but I plopped down on the driftwood beside her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Leah.” There, simple. Friendly. I tested out a smile. I got a grimace in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” This was perhaps the first time I’d heard her voice in earnest. It was a higher pitch than I’d expected, but there was a slight rasp to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, nothing. I just wanted to say hi. We didn’t really get a chance to talk last week.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So?” She huddled deeper into her jacket. A large, black puffer at least two sizes too large for her frame. I made eye contact with Seth across the fire. He widened his eyes dramatically and drew his index finger along his throat. Then, the whole group burst into laughter. Thankfully, Leah didn't noticed as she was still shooting daggers at me with her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> nothing.” Leah’s eyes narrowed as she watched me hold my hands out, palms facing forward to catch the heat from the flames. Now that the sun had set, it was cold. I couldn’t believe Jacob had said it was warmer. Sure, the forecast had been an unprecedented high for this week, but it was still winter and I felt frozen. The thought made me long for the warm Phoenix sun. I’d actually enjoyed going outside then. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I would give it another minute then I’d return to my friends. The pull I felt toward this girl had to be a fluke. Perhaps I was just more susceptible than the average person to beauty. Seven gorgeous, pale faces popped into my mind before I banished them. The image was enough for me to tuck my hands back in around my waist. The hole in my chest seemed to laugh at me. I could fake it all I wanted with my new friends, but it wasn’t going anywhere. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah carefully appraised me. I had the distinct feeling that she knew about the hole in my chest and the thoughts that had coursed through my mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the girl that dated a Cullen, right?” The hole ripped wide open at that. I was shocked that the front of my jacket wasn’t coated with blood. Tears pricked in my eyes, and I stared into the fire willing them to disappear. Those seven faces were back and with much more detail. I could see rings of gold around irises. Marble like skin. Worst of all - glimmering bronze hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I thought,” Leah said, not waiting for my answer. Guess she didn’t need confirmation. I mean, everyone in this town knew my connection to </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I wasn’t sure why she’d bothered to ask. Unless it was to unsettle me. Which, if so, she’d succeeded. I saw Jacob looking uneasy across from me. What did he see in my facial expression? I hoped he’d come rescue me from my own stupidity. I’d grown over-confident with all my new relationships formed this past week. I’d assumed Leah would crack just like Jessica had. I realized I was desperate for external approval - a symptom of knowing I hadn’t been enough to the people that mattered most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least there’s someone else who’s broken,” Leah chuckled. Wait, what? “I remember that night Sam pulled you from the woods. God, just like Sam to play the hero,” she sneered. “You looked dead. Your skin was so pale, I thought for sure the old legends had been true and that Cullen kid had killed you.” She might as well be punching me in the face. A single tear leaked out of my right eye. “But you know, you looked exactly how I’d been feeling for months. I just hadn’t been dramatic enough to follow through on it.” She leaned back and stared into the flames.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My arms were not tight enough to hold me together. I desperately wanted to retreat to Jacob and Angela, but my limbs wouldn’t cooperate. Visions of a large man carrying me through dark trees swirled in my head. I could smell pine and the salt of his sweat. I could see the flashing lights of Charlie’s squad car outside the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Focus. I needed to focus. I couldn’t start hyperventilating here. I forcefully shoved the hurricane of memories into the recesses of my mind. I tried to catch Jacob’s eye again, but he was laughing at something Angela had said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, fuck, I made you cry. I’m sorry,” Leah sighed. Her tone didn’t sound very sorry. “I can be a real bitch sometimes. It’s why I had nothing better to do on a Saturday night than watch my kid brother.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I nodded my head brusquely. I wasn't sure what to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I only brought it up because I got left too. It’s just - the whole town doesn’t care about </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” I bristled at her words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe if you weren’t such a bitch, more people would feel sorry for you,” I shot back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah’s shoulders shook with laughter. “I didn’t know you had that much bite in you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes. Anger had granted me back control of my body, and I made to get up, glancing down at Leah one more time. When our eyes met, her face took on a serious expression. And all the breath whooshed from my body. She’d been beautiful when she was angry or sullen. But with her dark eyes wide, her brows soft, her full lips hanging open . . . she was stunning. My brain immediately catalogued her beside another girl of unearthly beauty who’d openly despised me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, if you ever get bored spending all your time with Jacob Black pretending you’re okay, feel free to pay me a visit. My schedule is open indefinitely.” She snorted to herself at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn’t bother to respond. I scurried away back to the safety of my friends. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I was exhausted the entire drive home. We’d stayed much longer than I’d intended, but the conversation with Leah had left me shaken up and unwilling to part from Jacob’s side. It was only when Angela had almost fallen asleep with her head in my lap that I’d reluctantly decided it was time to go. Jacob had tried to convince me to stay longer, only letting me go when I promised to come back tomorrow. Thankfully, Jessica had returned to our group about an hour earlier so I hadn’t had to go traipsing down the beach looking for her. She’d strolled back up to the fire with Quil looking like a cat who’d just caught a canary. She was still admiring her dark red hickey in the truck’s passenger side mirror. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you’re gonna have to wear a scarf to school all week?” I lightheartedly asked. Angela, whose head lolled on my shoulder, stirred in her sleep at the sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No way, I want the whole school to see this bad boy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What you really mean is you want Mike to see it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica turned away from the mirror. “So what if I do? He deserves to see what all he lost.” I didn’t understand Jessica’s insistence on torturing Mike. I couldn’t remember who’d broken up with who, but it seemed to me that if she was so desperate to catch his attention, maybe she should just try talking to him. Angela curled tighter into my side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, Jess, it’s okay if you still want to be with Mike.” I kept my eyes on the road but could almost feel the waves of anger emanating from Jessica.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>like him anymore,” she seethed. “You know, he only started dating me because you weren’t available?” I winced. “He </span>
  <em>
    <span>told </span>
  </em>
  <span>me that, Bella! What was I supposed to say to that! And now he’s still mooning over you like a lovesick puppy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true, Jess,” I murmured. I was lying - I knew he stared at me and was more polite than he needed to be. I hadn’t forgotten him asking me to the dance or out on a date. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t also have an interest in Jessica. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut the bullshit, Bella. I don’t blame you, not really. I hated you for a while because of it, but it’s not your fault. Anyone with two eyes can see you’re still hung up on Edward. Mike doesn’t stand a chance. I just wish he’d see that and decide to give me one instead.” Jessica ground the heels of her hands into her eyes. I assumed to stem a flow of tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But I couldn’t really bring myself to care. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel. I gripped it so hard it hurt. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Edward.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I’d been so good, keeping that name from my mind. But first Leah, now Jessica. Both bringing to the forefront that I’ll never be able to escape the shadow of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. My foray into teenage socializing had turned into a disaster. The hole in my chest was on fire. Without the fog surrounding my brain, the carnage was devastating. Shallow breaths couldn’t reach the bottom of my lungs. I was drowning on memories. Glimpses of bronze hair. Flashes of golden eyes. It was too much, too painful. I forced myself to pay attention to the road. If I could manage nothing else, I had to do that. I had to get Jessica and Angela home before I broke down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I noticed Jessica was staring at me with wide, silvery eyes. What was that sound? Oh, it was me hyperventilating. I couldn’t worry about that. At least I was breathing. A left and then a right and I’d be at Jessica’s place. So close. It had been a mistake to assume I could have these friends. I wasn’t meant to. I wasn’t built for it. I was too broken. And the only people who’d ever gotten me were gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My truck screeched to a stop by the walkway up to Jessica’s house. Somehow, Angela continued sleeping. Apparently she could sleep through anything. I waited for Jessica to get out, but she was taking too long. I glanced over to see her eyes still trained on me. She’d made no motions toward the door at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella,” Jessica said shakily. “I shouldn’t have said any of that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I kept facing forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, really. I was taking out my frustrations with Mike. But like I said, it’s not your fault he’s that way. I shouldn’t have brought Ed - him up. I know how it affects you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shifted the truck into park so my arms could clench around my chest. The muscles in my hands were sore from holding on to the steering wheel so tight. My movements finally jostled Angela enough to wake her up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wha - what’s going on?” she mumbled. When faced with silence, she sat up and turned her head to see both Jessica and I in turn. She coolly assessed the tear drops leaking out of Jessica’s eyes - and whatever I looked like. I couldn’t be sure. I felt like one giant wound. Angela curtly nodded her head once as if coming to a decision. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, I think Jessica and I will be sleeping over tonight.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, what?” Jessica asked. “I didn’t tell my parents that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I just continued to hold myself, trying to calm the vibrations racking my body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your car’s at Bella’s place anyway, Jess, it just makes sense. You have a cell phone, right?” Jessica fumbled in her jacket pocket until she pulled out her purple flip phone, holding it out to Angela. “Okay, well, text your mom that Bella invited you to sleepover and you’ll see her in the morning. Your mom loves Chief Swan, it’ll be fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica looked confused but did as Angela directed. Her long nails made clacking sounds against the phone’s keypad. It almost sounded like rain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about you,” Jessica asked Angela. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I already told my parents I might stay over at Bella’s. So I’m covered.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, shouldn’t we, like, wait for Bella to say it’s okay for us to stay over?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both stared at me and seemed to decide that, no, they probably didn’t need my approval. Or at least, that I wouldn’t be responding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Bella,” Angela’s tone was authoritative but kind. “Can you drive back to your place?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I considered this seriously. I’d been lucky on the drive up until this point, but would the memories swallow me completely? I couldn’t manage speech yet, but the idea of Angela and Jessica sleeping at my house had pulled me out of my memories of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So I put the car in drive. Angela was careful to keep her distance from me, but kept up a cheery conversation with Jessica. When I would remember this moment later, I would realize she was doing so to distract me. Meanwhile, Jessica’s face warred between concern and disgust. I errantly wondered if her tale on Monday would be less about her hickey and more about Bella Swan’s breakdown. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stayed silent as I led the pair in through the front door. Charlie was asleep on the couch, waiting for me to make it home safely. Our entrance woke him up. He seemed shocked to see Angela and Jessica. Then he saw the tears, both mine and Jessica’s, and his face blanched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, honey, are you okay? What happened?” His one hand reached for me, then fell to his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s fine, Mr. Swan,” Angela answered for me. “Her and Jessica got into a fight is all. But they made up, and Bella invited us to sleep over, if that’s okay?” Jessica nodded along, affirming the story. Maybe Angela had heard more in the truck than I’d thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, um, I’m glad you girls are okay.” A girl fight - Charlie was out of his wheelhouse. “Of course, you’re both welcome to stay here. You need me to call your parents?” Jessica and Angela both shook their heads. “Alright. Well. You’re welcome to the couch. I think I’ve got an extra pair of sheets upstairs in the linen closet. You girls just hang tight.” Charlie made to go up the stairs, and I finally recovered my voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, Dad, Jess and Angela are just gonna sleep up in my room.” I hoped that was okay. It was selfish, but now I didn’t want to be left alone with this pain. Not now that Angela had offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie wrapped me in his arms and kissed me on my head. I buried my face into his flannel. Then, I stepped back, and started to usher Angela and Jessica upstairs. Charlie followed us until he disappeared into his own room. Once in the safety of my bedroom, I expected to fall to the floor in agony. But nothing happened. My chest still hurt, but the shock of Angela and Jessica being here had stunned me out of the panic. I went through the motions of pulling together sweatpants and tshirts for them to wear. We all changed in silence. I think they were both waiting for me to officially lose it. But I was sure the worst of it had been in the truck. I was present now. No memories swimming through my head. Only a shortened breath and ample embarrassment that Jessica Stanley had seen me sob remained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sat on my bed cross-legged and waited for something to happen. Jessica stayed standing, leaning against the far wall, but Angela sat next to me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, are you okay?” she asked tentatively. Her hands fluttered around my shoulders, unsure if she should give me a hug or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed. “Would you believe me if I said yes?”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jessica chuckled. Angela shot her an evil look, but I grinned. My cheeks were still sticky with tears but I was managing to smile. Perhaps this is what improvement looked like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t believe me either.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was something else, Bella,” Jessica went on. “I’ve seen some heartbreak, but you take the cake.” Angela looked about ready to burst, but Jessica’s humor kept me from thinking about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jessica, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, can we take this seriously for one minute?” Angela snapped. Jessica and I both groaned. I hoped she wouldn’t try to make me talk about my feelings. I wouldn’t even know how to describe the hole in my chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella,” Angela said, waiting for me to meet her gaze before going on. “You don’t have to talk to us about it, but we’re here for you. No more walking around like you’re in a trance. No more holding yourself together on your own.” She gestured to my arms currently gripping my ribs. “Right, Jessica?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unfortunately, she’s right. That was downright pathetic, I’ll do whatever it takes to never see you like that again, Bella.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jessica, I swear, you can’t just this one ti -” Angela’s screech was cut off by my own laughter. Jessica joined in immediately. Angela glared at Jessica for a couple seconds before giving a huff and laying back on the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I laid down beside her and gave her a tight hug, pressing my nose into her cheek. “Thank you, both of you, really. No more zombie-Bella.” Angela hugged me back, her arms gripping my waist exactly where I’d been holding myself moments before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica snorted and switched out my light before curling up on my other side. She gave me a light hug and ran a hand through my hair a couple times before turning over. I was stunned by the show of affection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I waited for Angela to let go, but her breathing softened while her arms were still wrapped around me. It kept the pain in my chest from overwhelming me. I tried not to dwell on my emotional outburst. I’d never been that raw in front of anyone before. And I meant anyone, not even </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’d worked so hard on keeping what I was going through a secret, but maybe I didn’t need to. Neither Jessica or Angela had shunned me for it. They were both here now, wearing my old sleep clothes and keeping me together. It wasn’t what I’d expected when I’d decided to make nice with my human friends again. At the same time, I wasn’t sure what I’d been anticipating. Maybe snide remarks from Jessica. Someone to study with in Angela. I had both of those things now, but they came with so much more. I fell asleep listening to the sounds of my two friends sleeping and knew that when the nightmares came, at least I wouldn’t have to face them alone. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Waking up entangled with Jessica and Angela made my cheeks flush, but I still smiled, rubbing sleep from my eyes. I could tell from the window that the sun was only just starting to rise, so I got out of bed and left my room as stealthily as I could manage, leaving Jessica and Angela to sleep in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie was already downstairs and I was surprised to see him in his uniform. Usually, Sundays were his day off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Dad.” I helped myself to a glass of orange juice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Bella. You’re looking . . . chipper.” Was I? I shrugged and took a sip of juice. “You’re feeling better after last night, then?” Charlie asked gruffly, stirring a spoon in his coffee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. It was nothing really. Like Angela said, Jess and I got in a fight, but we patched it up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good, good. The Stanleys are good folk. Jessica is one to keep around. Same goes for Angela.” I’d have to tell them they’d gained Charlie’s approval. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what’s with the getup?” I motioned my hand toward his tucked-in button up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie sighed. “Got a call about a missing hiker.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’d they go missing at?” I asked. It was rare for Forks to have such a drama. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His campsite was over toward the Calawah. But there’s no sign of him. We managed to find some big animal prints, but it’s possible those came after he left the campsite. They’re setting traps now, so I’m gonna go out and lend a hand. Maybe join the search for the guy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Angela said she saw a giant bear out that way I think. And some hikers at Newton’s mentioned one too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we’ve been getting wildlife reports for a bear at the station.” Charlie frowned. “You promise me you won’t go into the woods, Bella.”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad,” I whined. I wasn’t sure why I was putting up a fight. It wasn’t like I was an outdoorsman, but I didn’t want any restrictions on my freedom. “What if Jake wants to go for a hike or something?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hikes with Jacob can be okay if you two stay close to town. And on established trails.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries then, Dad. I’m not a go-off-the-trail type of girl.” Charlie ruffled my hair as he walked toward the front door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You be careful, Bells. And tell Jessica and Angela I was happy to see them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can do, Dad!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Charlie left, I went about making a breakfast large enough for three. Eggs, bacon, toast smeared with jam. The works. I was determined to be a good hostess after the scene I’d subjected Jessica and Angela to last night. This meal was a show of thanks. I set the table carefully, laying out the plates and silverware like it was a five-star restaurant. I giggled thinking about the caustic remark Jessica would give me when she saw the effort I’d put in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Satisfied with my work, I made my way upstairs and quietly entered my room. Jessica and Angela were still sprawled across the bed. Angela looked so much younger without her glasses. She was all soft edges and round curves. Jessica on the other hand managed to look angry even in sleep. Her eyebrows were furrowed and the corners of her lips turned down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I debated ways in which to wake them up. Perhaps I’d been premature with my breakfast. Other teenagers probably didn’t like waking up before noon on Sundays. But if I didn’t get them up, the eggs would go cold and be ruined. I took a deep gulp of air for courage, then leapt onto my bed, landing across Jessica and Angela’s legs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both girls jolted awake. Jessica looked ready to fight someone, her fists coming up into a defensive position. Angela just looked at me with wide eyes, clearly unsure of what was going on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goooood morning, ladies!” I crowed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica groaned and threw a pillow at my head. I only barely managed to duck in time. Angela buried her head under the other pillow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off, Bella. Why are you awake this early?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure if anyone’s ever told you this, Jess, but the early bird gets the worm.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, the worm can fuck off too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela laughed from beneath her pillow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would it make you feel better if I said I made breakfast?” I asked sweetly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it’s your usual PopTarts, no thank you,” Jess chuckled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope. We’re talking eggs and bacon.” Jessica’s eyes glistened, and Angela peered out from under her protective pillow. “Unfortunately, it’s all going cold downstairs right now. So if the two of you wanna sleep in, I guess I’ll just eat it all myself and you can have PopTarts later?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright, we’re coming.” Jessica rose first then dragged Angela out of bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Breakfast wasn’t awkward at all. Angela and I teased Jessica about the dark purple bruise on her neck. Jessica told us all about her makeout session with Quil. I couldn’t imagine kissing someone I barely knew, but Jessica made it sound adventurous. Like kissing another boy was getting a stamp in her passport. I wished I had that mentality, it would make moving on so much easier. But Jessica had been crying over Mike last night, so maybe her method didn’t really help at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jessica and Angela left together, I had a feeling something in our dynamic had shifted. Our relationship felt more permanent. They made me feel almost as whole as Jacob did. I wondered how things would be from now on. Would Jessica still make fun of me with Lauren? Would I only really see Angela at school? On both counts, I hoped not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’d managed to finish most of my homework for the week, so I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I did some laundry, made a casserole for Charlie to eat later for dinner, and sent Renee an email telling her all about the bonfire. Or at least the good parts. I left out my weird conversation with Leah and the tears shed in the truck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The clock still only read 12:30 pm. That pushed me out the door and back down to La Push. I hoped Jacob wasn’t sick of me yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob was sitting outside his garage with Embry and Quil. The smile he gave me made me completely forget about the dull ache of the hole in my chest. Jacob ran over to meet me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No backpack today?” He sounded thrilled. I did a spin to emphasize that I didn’t have a bag at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No backpack!” I confirmed. “I was hoping we could skip doing homework today, as long as you’re all caught up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, sure. So what’d you want to do?” He grinned, leaning back on his heels as he dug his hands into his pockets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could watch you work on your Rabbit.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that, Jacob beamed. “Well, actually, I won’t be working on the Rabbit anymore.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, what?” I was confused. Jacob loved that car, he wouldn’t give up on it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s finished!” He announced. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake, no way!” I threw my arms around his neck in a celebratory hug. Or at least I tried to, I could barely reach the top of his shoulders. He picked me up and spun me in a circle until Embry and Quil catcalled behind us. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My face flushed. For a moment, I’d forgotten they were there. Jacob sat me down, and we walked over to meet his friends. Embry hugged me, and I gripped him back, noticing Jacob’s frown in my periphery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hiya, Bella,” Quil crooned. “I’m sorry we didn’t really get a chance to hang out much last night.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, you were too busy attacking Jessica’s neck.” Jacob and Embry guffawed while blood rushed to Quil’s face. I merely smirked. Quil raised a hand to brush across his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, uh, did Jessica say anything about me?” His tone was hopeful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Quil, but Jess is still really into this other guy.” Quil groaned comically but took the news well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should stick to sophomore girls, Quil,” Embry said, patting Quil on the back. We all laughed at that. Jacob casually threw his arm around my shoulder, and Embry and Quil’s eyes widened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what’re we doing today?” I asked the group. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>they</span>
  </em>
  <span> are going to go do whatever it is they do when they’re not bothering me.” Jacob motioned to Quil and Embry who both rolled their eyes. “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>we</span>
  </em>
  <span> are going to take the Rabbit out for a ride.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, c’mon Jake,” Quil whined, “You promised you’d take me and Embry first.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Embry looked morose but didn’t complain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well guess I’m not a man of my word.” Jacob shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They could come with us,” I said uncertainly. I didn’t see the issue with Quil and Embry riding along in the backseat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Naw, Bella, it’s okay. Quil and I can catch a ride later. We’ll make Jake drive us to go get dinner.” And with that, Embry pulled Quil away and down the road. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt a little awkward, but soon forgot the discomfort as Jacob gleefully pulled me into the garage. He made a grand presentation of the car and I clapped and enthused as much as I could, even though I knew nothing about cars or the work Jacob had been doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, get in! We’re going for a joy ride.” I eagerly clambered into the passenger seat, buckling myself in. Jacob rolled down the windows, and pulled out, going a speed that would cause Charlie’s eyebrows to raise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob switched on the stereo, and I cringed. Music of any kind still caused the hole in my chest to gape open. Especially since every song seemed to be about love or a failed relationship. Didn’t people sing about anything else? I played with the dial until I landed on a rap station. Rap seemed safe. The words were so fast and so angry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You listen to rap, Bella?” Jacob laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, I love it,” I attempted to bop my head along with the beat. Jacob gave an incredulous look then began nodding his head along too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have to tell Embry, it’s practically all he listens to. You can talk with him about your favorite rappers.” I sincerely hoped this lie wouldn’t snowball out of control. I’d need to look up some popular rappers and their songs so I didn’t look like an idiot later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We drove south, following a dirt road through the trees that provided breathtaking views of the ocean. A deep blue-grey under a sky of endless clouds. The wind from the open windows of the car pulled at my hair playfully, whipping it across my face. It was so cold it smarted against my skin, but I liked how alive it made me feel. Jacob’s hair was flying too. I reached out a hand to grab a strand of it. It was so soft, like the one silk shirt Renee had insisted on buying me. I rubbed my fingers across it for a couple moments and then released it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob was talking about how he’d found the last part for the Rabbit at some garage out of town when I spotted four figures standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. They were all awfully close to the precipice. From their size, I could tell they were all men. Large men. And even though it was back to being chilly, they were all shirtless, only wearing cutoff denim shorts. I pulled my hair out of my face so I could get a better look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then the tallest member of the group threw himself over the edge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I screamed as I watched his body tumble before disappearing into the churning water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Jacob shouted back, alarmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob, look!” I pointed frantically to the cliff, and Jacob slowed the car down to a crawl. “Stop, stop, you have to stop!” He complied and pulled onto the shoulder. “That guy - that guy just jumped off a cliff! We’ve gotta go back to your place and call 911. We need an ambulance. We’ve gotta help him. Why aren’t they doing anything? Why didn’t they stop him?” My voice grew increasingly panicked. I flung open the car door to run over to the cliff. Maybe I could send Jacob back down to call while I tried to help now? I had no clue what I was doing but I had to do something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I froze when Jacob laughed. He was insane - someone was dying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, they’re only cliff diving. It’s for fun. We all do it - there isn’t much else for us to do down here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stared with wonder back at the group. A second figure stepped forward and then dived toward the water. He didn’t even make a splash when he cut through the waves below. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cliff diving.” I repeated, sitting back in my seat. Jacob was chuckling at my expression, but I couldn’t get control over my face. “But it’s so high up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They </span>
  </em>
  <span>are insane. The rest of us with brains jump from lower down. Those guys just want an excuse to seem tough. I mean, it’s almost freezing outside today. You couldn’t pay me to get in that water.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you all dive off towering cliffs. Into the ocean. For fun.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, sure.” Jacob started the car back up and continued driving down the road, going a little slower than before. “You want to try sometime?” He asked eagerly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, maybe when it’s warmer. And only from the lowest point possible.” Jacob laughed but agreed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, who were those guys?” I asked. I hadn’t seen them before. Jacob gritted his teeth at the question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the cult you heard about last night. Sam Uley’s gang.” Ah, that. At least I wouldn’t have to bring it up myself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you do have a cult.” I was surprised to hear Sam Uley’s name. A memory surfaced of him holding me against his chest, asking me if I’d been hurt. I banished it back into the recesses of my mind before I could dwell on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kind of. Not really, that’s just what Quil, Embry, and I call it. But it’s creepy, you know? They don’t do anything bad. Their whole thing is about being peaceful and keeping order. They call themselves the ‘protectors’. Whatever that means. I heard from Embry that Sam and his disciples helped run a drug dealer off the Makah rez. It’s like they think they’re the cops. They walk around here like they own the place. Apparently the council even takes the group seriously. Leah Clearwater told me the council actually meets with Sam.” Jacob’s hands clenched into fists around the steering wheel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah is mixed up with them too?” For some reason, the thought made my stomach clench. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, she can’t stand them either. She used to date Sam. They were super serious until he dumped her for her cousin. I mean, it’s pretty hypocritical of him to walk around all high and mighty when he pulls shit like that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So that’s what Leah had meant when she’d said she’d been left too. I felt queasy at the thought of anyone having to endure seeing someone they loved leave them for someone else. Let alone that someone else being a family member. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s awful, Jake” That was all I could manage to say. Jacob grunted in agreement. “Just stay away from Sam, from all of them, okay? No need to get wrapped up in whatever they are.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob sighed. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do. But Sam keeps staring at me every time he sees me. It’s like he’s waiting for me to join or something. I don’t know. He stares at Embry too. It’s not like we don’t notice.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob sounded scared, and the idea of Sam making him this uncomfortable made me bristle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could always get Charlie involved, if you want,” I offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, no, that’s not necessary. It’s not like they’re doing anything technically wrong. They’re just creepy.” He shivered for dramatic effect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I reached my hand over to grip one of his. He gave me an appreciative smile and began humming along with the rap music. Absentmindedly, he raised my hand, now ensnared in his oversized one, to his lips, pressing a light kiss on my knuckles. A warmth flared in my stomach, but the rest of me froze. Jacob, realizing what he’d done, released my fingers and grimaced. Despite my discomfort, I picked back up his hand and mimicked his motions, pressing my lips against his skin. He smelled like evergreen and rain. I inhaled as deeply as I could before lowering our still connected hands to the console between us. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I’d known you’d react like this, I would’ve complained about Sam way earlier.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I laughed, my cheeks warming. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t get used to it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see about that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I had the feeling Jacob thought our relationship was heading down a path I wasn’t sure I was ready to take. But I decided that I wouldn’t let that darken my time with my personal sun. I could worry about it later. I grinned at Jacob then stuck my free hand out the window to catch the wind, twirling my fingers in it. It felt like flying. I leaned my head back and allowed myself to enjoy it. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Time passed much more quickly than before. School followed by afternoons with Jacob; Saturdays spent at Newton’s and then with Jessica and Angela; homework filled Sundays. As new as it had felt a few weeks ago, it was now a steady rhythm. It was treacherous to admit but I was almost happy. The hole in my chest still existed, but it never hurt enough to send me into a full blown episode. Not like that night in my truck with Angela and Jessica. I still had nightmares, but I only rarely woke up screaming. Maybe it was like </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>had said. Maybe time would heal my heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the start of another school week. I now actually looked forward to lunch as a time to hangout with friends. I usually raced out of fourth period as quickly as possible to get to the cafeteria. I always sat between Jessica and Angela. Mike shot me forlorn looks every once in a while, but I stayed as distant as possible. I didn’t want Jessica getting the wrong idea. Although, she was seeing Conner again. I suspected it was still part of her plot to make Mike jealous, but Conner seemed nice enough. At least he carried her books to class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, Bella, are you and Jacob doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” Jessica asked, crunching down on a carrot stick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, is it Valentine’s Day?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica’s shoulders heaved with a sigh. “Bella, I swear. Sometimes it’s like you live on a different planet.” Angela tittered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bella, it’s Valentine’s Day,” Angela said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Jacob and I don’t have plans.” The idea that I’d never had a Valentine’s date, and that I probably never would, twisted in my gut. But I refused to let thoughts of my ruined romantic life keep me from eating, not anymore. I scooped up a spoonful of leftover pasta. I’d started packing my lunch after realizing I’d only been eating an apple or drinking a bottle of lemonade every day. It was no wonder why I’d felt such a constant fog pressing down on me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe he has a surprise planned?” Jessica asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really hope not. Jacob and I are just friends. Maybe we’ll watch horror movies or something.” Horror movies had become our thing ever since that first trip to Port Angeles. Jacob typically ended up more scared than me. Having the knowledge that real-life monsters from the pages of Dracula walked among us made the monsters on the screen less frightening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela scrunched her nose at the mention of horror. She swore she’d never even made it past the first five minutes of Nightmare Before Christmas because she found it too scary. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Conner is taking me to that Italian restaurant we all went to in Port Angeles. He made reservations and everything.” Jessica nearly shouted this, clearly so Mike wouldn’t be able to miss it. The hole in my chest roared at the mention of the restaurant, but I told it to be quiet. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t own Italian food. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s so nice, Jessica,” I enthused. “What’ll you wear?” Of course, that sent Jessica into a fifteen minute story that Angela and I nodded along to. I used the time to work through the pain still grating in my core. At the end of Jessica’s monologue on why she’d selected a pink top instead of a red one, the hole in my chest was back to being an empty, dull void. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Angela, what’re you and Ben doing?” I asked because I knew she wouldn’t volunteer the information on her own, not wanting to take the moment away from Jessica.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s making me dinner at his place,” she said dreamily. “His parents will be gone, so we’ll have the whole place to ourselves.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica smirked and made a lewd gesture with her hands. “Ugh, Jess, no,” Angela groaned. “You know Ben and I aren’t there yet. I meant that we’ll be free to spend time with each other without parents or siblings hanging around.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Jessica could jump in with colorful ideas on how they could spend their time, I turned the conversation back toward school, asking to study together for our upcoming English quiz. I didn’t really need the study help, but it was an excuse to see them outside of Forks High. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After lunch, I was running late to my next class. I’d forgotten my flannel on the back of my chair at our lunch table. When I bustled out of the cafeteria again, I was surprised to find Mike waiting for me. Mike fell into step beside me, matching my harried pace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Bella.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Er, hi, Mike.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I overheard you talking with Jessica and Angela at lunch.” I didn’t like where this was going. I waited impatiently for him to get to the point. “About you not having any plans for Valentine’s Day.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was worse than what I’d been expecting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about it, Mike?” I kept my tone icy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we should go to dinner. Or a movie. Or both.” He ran a hand through his spiked-up hair and chewed at his lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My feet slowed and thoughts of being late to fifth period left my mind. “Dinner. Or a movie,” I repeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I don’t have any plans either, it could be fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like a date?” I was glad Jessica was nowhere near for this conversation. Since she’d told me how she felt about Mike, and how Mike’s interest in me affected her, I was wary of even talking to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It could be. If you want.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mike, I don’t date.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We could still go, just as friends.” Friends. Spending time with Mike as friends could be nice. He’d been one of the first people at Forks to welcome me, and he’d willingly accepted me back from my zombie-phase. But - </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Mike asked, his tone sharp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I don’t think Jessica would like it very much.” Mike’s brows furrowed together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jessica? We broke up ages ago, and she’s dating Conner now.” I bit my tongue to keep from saying that I didn’t think Jess found that relationship very official. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mike, Jessica would rather be going on a date with you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He contemplated that for a moment. “So if I asked Jessica out right now, she’d say yes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I snorted. “I didn’t say that. She’ll probably make you work for it. But after making you sweat for a couple days, she’d be willing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mike walked off in a daze, feebly waving his goodbye. I debated whether I should tell Jessica about the exchange, but decided against it. I didn’t want to get her hopes up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After school, as had become my routine, I drove directly to Jacob’s. On the way there, I found myself wishing my truck could play music. I wanted to feel like I had when riding with Jacob those weeks ago, the wind tangling my hair. I resolved to ask for his help finding a second-hand stereo to replace the hulking gap in my dashboard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob wasn’t in his garage where I expected him to be. Instead, I found him in his kitchen, leaning awkwardly against the counter. He was clad in a button-up shirt slightly too small for him and a pair of pressed khaki pants. I looked down at my jeans and tshirt covered by a worn flannel. Jessica’s voice teased me in my mind about my fashion sense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, am I underdressed for a special occasion?” I smirked up at him, having to lean my head back entirely to meet his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tugged at his shirt’s collar. “Um, no. I just wanted to look nice today.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I then remembered that it was Valentine’s Day. “Oh, wanting to impress a girl at school, huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave me a strained look. “Not quite.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I puzzled over that for a moment before motioning to my backpack. “Shall we?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I was hoping we could go for a walk down the beach.” He shifted on his feet and shrugged his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A strange request, since we usually spent our time doing homework, hanging out in his garage or watching tv, but not out of the question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure! Let’s go then.” I grabbed his hand and tugged him toward his front door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob was quieter than usual, flicking his eyes to me every few steps. He seemed uneasy. And I could only think of one thing that would make him feel that way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake, what’s wrong? Is it Sam - are they bothering you?” Jacob looked startled by the question, his brows raising and his lips puckering. He kicked at a rock on the path we were currently taking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not - that’s not really why - well, now that you asked, Embry’s started following Sam around this weekend just like the rest of his cult.” I pictured the sweet, shy Embry I’d come to know. Practically Jacob’s brother. My heart stuttered. “That’s the way it was with Paul. And Jared too. They weren’t friends with Sam and then, boom, suddenly they belong to him. And the way they all look at me - I’m next. I know it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jacob, that’s horrible. Have you talked to Billy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob sighed. “He wasn’t any help. All he said was that he’d ‘explain it to me later.’” Jacob’s voice mimicked the slightly higher pitch of his father’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I reached out and interlocked my fingers with his, leaning into him as we finally came within reach of the beach. I couldn’t believe that the Embry I’d met at the bonfire held here just a month ago had ditched Jacob and was now running around with this Sam character. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you’ll always have me, right Jake? Even if every other teenage boy in the State of Washington joins Sam, I’ll have your back. If it’s bad enough, we can even run away together. Take the Rabbit cross-country. Maybe I can even convince Angela and Jessica to come with.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob gave a light chuckle. “Thanks, Bells, you always know what to say.” Even though I loosened my fingers, Jacob kept a tight grip on my hand. I liked the warm pressure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We strolled along the water’s edge, Jacob pointing out different spots where he and his friends had hung out. He even remembered where we’d had our first real conversation last year, when he’d told me his tribe’s legends. We stood there and stared out toward the surf, taking in the view of a rare burst of sunlight glinting off the waves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I’ll always be there for you, too,” Jacob said out of nowhere. “I get that you’re unhappy a lot. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be happy all the time. I just . . . I’m going to be here to weather through it with you. As long as you want me to. I’m never going to give up on you. You’re too special, Bella. I knew it from the moment you came back to Forks. My life has been so much brighter ever since that phone call when you asked me to go see a horror movie of all things,” he chuckled and raised his free hand to catch a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel the same happiness you’ve given me because you deserve it, Bells. You deserve the world.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t know how to respond. Instead, I gripped Jacob in a tight hug, pressing my face into his chest. His arms enveloped me. He was so warm, as if he had a fever. Or had been sitting out in the sun for hours. I’d never felt someone’s entire body radiate so much heat. I pulled back some and tilted my face up to ask him if he was feeling alright.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn’t realize what was happening until Jacob’s face was mere centimeters away and his lips were crashing into mine. My spine stiffened at the feel of the kiss, so hot it almost burned. Jacob released his grip on me so he could cup my face with both of his hands. The stubble on his jaw grazed against my cheek uncomfortably. I raised my hands to his chest to push him off of me, not wanting to know what it felt like to be kissed by anything other than smooth, perfect marble. But then Jacob sucked lightly on my bottom lip, a sensation I’d never experienced before, and molten heat blazed in my core. I lost all sense of self as my mouth opened to his on its own accord, allowing his tongue to caress my own. My hands now fisted into his shirt, pulling him down to me. I was on fire. I hadn’t realized what it was to be kissed without reservation. Jacob had no reason to be cautious, and I didn’t want him to be. Every touch of his zinged through me like fireworks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>More, more, more</span>
  </em>
  <span> my body chanted to me. His hand twisted into my hair, holding me to him. His other hand gripped my waist, tight enough that normally I’d have found it painful. But now, the touch brought a moan to my lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound of that moan straightened my thoughts out from a frantic scramble. I pulled back, and found Jacob staring at me with a look of pure adoration. A man worshipping at the altar. Only one man could look at me like that, and it wasn’t the one in front of me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I disentangled myself from his hands and gripped my chest. The fact that I’d enjoyed Jacob’s touch felt like a betrayal. To </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>and to myself. Without a word, I turned on my heel and stumbled back toward my truck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Jacob several beats to come after me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, wait. I’m - I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I knew you weren’t ready.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I doggedly cut through the trees, taking the shortest route back to Jacob’s house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, please. Stop. Please just talk to me.” I would if I could, but I couldn’t. I was a monster. It hadn’t even been a year since </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’d </span>
  </em>
  <span>left and here I was making out with the first guy who’d given me a lick of attention. I’d never been worthy of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’d been right to leave me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Broken pleas continued from behind me until I reached my truck door and hauled myself into the cab. Jacob’s face appeared at my window. Silver limned his deep-brown eyes, and his usually gleeful face was contorted in despair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, I’m so sorry. Please. You don’t have to leave. I won’t - I won’t kiss you again. It was a mistake.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was a mistake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I put the truck in reverse and rolled down Jacob’s driveway. He trotted after me several paces, then stopped, a hand reaching out toward me. I didn’t look in my rearview mirror as I drove away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once home, I barrelled upstairs to my room, thankful Charlie wasn’t back from the station yet. I burrowed under the blankets of my bed and let the misery take me. Memories of </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> smooth lips played in an endless reel beside the lingering brand of Jacob’s touch. What had felt so good in the moment now felt disgusting, perverted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie’s knock on my door made me sit up enough to tell him I felt too sick to make dinner tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, honey. You need me to get you anything?” He looked worried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Dad, I’m fine. Just need to sleep it off.” I laid my head back down on my pillow and waited for him to leave. His footsteps trailed off down the stairs, only to come back up minutes later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, I brought you some water.” He sat a full cup on my bedside table. His hand grazed across my forehead. “You feel a little hot. Do you want me to call Doctor Gerandy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad, I’m okay really. I swear.” I willed him to leave me alone. But he didn’t, he sat on the edge of the mattress and patted his hand on my back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We had another hiker go missing today. He was young too, only a few years older than you. His parents were devastated. Makes me wanna hold you close and never let go.” His words would have had more effect if I wasn’t deep down the abyss in my chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going anywhere Ch- Dad.” Another few pats on my back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, kiddo. You let me know if you need anything else. And drink some of that water, okay?” He slowly rose and left the room, looking back at me before shutting the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you, Dad,” I mumbled after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>The memory of </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>touch plagued me for the rest of the night, allowing me little sleep. All I could do was watch the clock and will the sun to rise. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next day, I didn’t plan to go to Jacob’s after school, as had become my routine. That morning, before Charlie headed off to the station, he told me Jacob had called three times the night before. I told Charlie I would return his call later, but I wasn’t going to. I wasn’t sure how I could face him after what had happened. After the things my body had wanted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Throughout the morning, I managed to feign interest in Jessica’s retelling of her date with Conner. But the normalcy couldn’t last. At lunch, I sat out in my truck, watching the rain pelt the windshield. I knew Jessica and Angela had to be worried - I hadn’t told them I wouldn’t be in the cafeteria - but I wasn’t ready to tell them about Jacob. Not yet at least. I would, as soon as I figured out how I felt. Until then, I’d be better off by myself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if thinking her name brought her into fruition, Angela appeared at the passenger door and hauled herself inside uninvited. So much for processing by myself. Angela shoved wet hair off her forehead, forcefully tucking it behind her ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what we’re not gonna do is mope in our truck alone,” Angela huffed, shrugging out of her rain jacket.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I groaned and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. “How did you even know I was here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There are only so many places in Forks. It wasn’t hard to guess.” I should’ve foreseen this and driven my truck out of the parking lot at least. “So, what’re we moping about?” Angela kicked her feet up on my dashboard and pulled two granola bars out of her backpack, tossing one to me. I tore open the packet, debating what I should tell her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not moping.” Angela raised an eyebrow. “I’m not! I - something happened yesterday and I’m not sure what to do about it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m all ears.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well . . . Jacobkissedme.” I said the words so quickly they ran together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela’s eyes went wide. “Did you - did you not like it? Is that the problem?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I went back to staring out the windshield. “I don’t know. I think the problem might be that I liked it too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Angela stared out the windshield alongside me. Then glanced back. “I don’t understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I liked it, er, physically, I mean.” My cheeks were so warm they had to be on fire. “But I’m not sure I actually liked it. You know, my brain didn’t like it. I don’t really see Jacob that way. Maybe I could, in time. But it’s too soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay. You don’t need to see Jacob in any way. You don’t owe him anything. You can wait to do stuff like that with him - or with anyone else - until you’re comfortable with it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But the worst part is I just ran away after. I didn’t say anything. And he’s been calling. I don’t know what to say.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just tell him what you told me, that it’s too soon. And that you don’t promise anything about the future. I have a feeling Jacob will understand.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela made the entire situation seem much less complicated. I gave her a grateful smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you better not tell Jessica about this,” Angela said, taking a bite out of her granola bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Dozens of worst case scenarios flooded my head. Did Jessica have a thing for Jacob? Did Jessica hate me now? Had my conversation with Mike yesterday led to disastrous results? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because she won’t rest until you give her every sordid detail, whether you want to or not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>∿∿∿∿∿∿</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After spending the rest of my afternoon classes dodging Jessica’s questions about what Angela and I had done over the lunch period, I gratefully drove home to a silent house. I sat at the kitchen table and stared at the yellow phone in its cradle, trying to pluck up the courage to call Jacob. I almost sighed with relief when the thing rang, cutting all decision making out of the ordeal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” My voice was little more than a whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella,” Jacob breathed. “Listen, I know you’ve been avoiding my calls, and that’s okay. I’m so sorry about yesterday. I misread the situation. Which isn’t an excuse. I’m just - I’m sorry.” His words were edged with panic. I’d done that. It was my fault he was hurt. I was no better than </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I gripped my chest with my free arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake. I’m sorry too, for running away. I should’ve stayed and talked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Bella. I’m the only one who needs to ask for forgiveness.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I gnawed on my bottom lip. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about the kiss, but I didn’t want him to be in any pain. “Well, you’re forgiven, Jake.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob let out a heavy sigh. “That’s great to hear Bells. Do you . . . still want to come over? We can do homework or watch tv.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, Jake.” And I wasn’t. It’s not that I didn’t want to see Jacob again. Of course I did. But I wasn’t confident that I could just ignore what had transpired between us and go back to the way we were. That kiss had felt like an immutable shift in our friendship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So that’s it? You’re done with me already? No matter what I do, it’s always going to be him isn’t it?” This was the first time Jacob had ever mentioned </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I felt his words tear through my body. My veins felt full of ice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake, I can’t just change how I feel. Maybe it could be different. Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>could be different. I just need time. I still - I still want to be friends. Best friends.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob’s breath quickened. He was almost panting. “I don’t feel so good, Bella, I think I should go.” He made a sharp whine of pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake - are you okay? What’s wrong? Jake?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella -” A loud cracking sound, then the line went dead. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I clutched the phone to my ear as if that would be enough to bring him back. Our conversation hadn’t gone at all how I wanted, and I was scared that I’d ruined whatever had been left of our friendship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I glanced at the clock. Charlie would be home any minute, and I hadn’t even started dinner. I scrambled around the kitchen, pulling out a box of penne pasta, a jar of pasta sauce, and a pot. I wrote out a note explaining how long to cook the pasta in boiling water - reminding him to stir regularly - and told him not to put the metal lid of the pasta sauce in the microwave. I ended the note explaining that I was heading to La Push. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, I was grabbing my keys from the hook beside the door and rushing down the driveway to my truck. I pushed the truck to its maximum speed. I was unsure of what our friendship would look like moving forward, but I wasn’t prepared to lose Jacob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My boots squelched across the mud as I stormed up to Jacob’s house. I pounded on the door, shouting his name. Billy was the one to answer the door, looking up at me with an expression I’d never seen him wear before. His jaw was squared, his eyes full of ice. Despite Billy’s best efforts to take up the entire door frame, I managed a look into the kitchen behind him. It was a disaster. The table was thrown on its side, a leg knocked off. The phone had been ripped off the wall, a chunk of wallpaper torn off with it. Immediately, I knew that Jacob had done this because of me. And for the first time, I was scared of my friend. I hadn’t thought he would be capable of something so violent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella. What can I do for you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wasn’t sure I wanted to see Jacob any more, not if he had done this and then left the mess for Billy. But I persevered through the icy fear gripping me. Jacob clearly wasn’t in his right state of mind. I’d been right to drive down. I felt personally responsible for the disaster behind Billy, even if I hadn’t been the one to physically cause the damage. “I’m here to see Jacob.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob’s actually out right now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Out where?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips. Jacob had to have told Billy to send me away. I understood. I had been the one ignoring his calls just last night. But I wasn’t willing to leave without putting up more of a fight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With Quil and Embry. I’ll tell him you stopped by.” And just like that, Billy closed the door in my face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stood outside for several more minutes, wondering what to do. I considered leaving Jacob a note at the door. But then it clicked. Embry? Embry had been hanging out with Sam and the rest of his group. Jacob wouldn’t be with Embry. Unless - unless Sam had gotten to him too. Had I hurt him so badly he’d gone running to Sam? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I rushed back to my truck and pulled out of Jacob’s driveway. I drove around the reservation hoping to see someone. Jacob, Quil, Embry, Sam - anyone. And it seemed fate was on my side. I spotted a familiar stocky frame wandering outside the convenience store, a can of soda in hand. I pulled over beside him and frantically rolled down my window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quil!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, hey!” He gave me a broad grin until he seemed to notice the panic on my face. “What’s wrong, is everything alright with Jake?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook my head. “Jake and I got in a fight, and I came down here to talk to him. But he’s not home. His kitchen is destroyed. And Billy said he was with you and Embry. Which he obviously isn’t.” I gestured at Quil to make my point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Billy said he was with Embry?” Quil whistled. “I’ll give it to Sam - he works fast.” He kicked at a pebble in the grass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I slammed the truck into park. “Quil, what do you mean? Where is Jake?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who knows. It’s too late anyway. I’d reckon he’s one of them now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How? I was just talking to Jake a half hour ago. It’s not possible!” I slammed my hand on the dashboard. I’d promised to keep Jacob away from Sam, and I’d ended up pushing him right into his cult. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how it works, Bella. One second you’re you. And then the next,” Quil snapped his fingers, “you belong to Sam.” Quil frowned down at his can. “I’m gonna miss Jake. But I guess I’ll be next anyhow. Won’t be long.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean - you’ll be next?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure Jake told you about how they followed him around. Gave him weird looks.” I nodded in the affirmative. “They did the same to Embry. And they’re doing the same to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I motioned for Quil to get into my truck. He trotted around the cab and then climbed into the passenger seat. I continued my drive to nowhere, hoping I’d see Jacob. Quil seemed to be of the same mind since he kept his eyes glued to the road. I questioned him for any information he could provide on Sam and his followers. But Quil didn’t know much more than Jake had. Just that they ran around like they owned the reservation and gave him an uneasy feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Quil mentioned the council, I remembered that there was someone else who might know more about Sam and where Jacob might be. Jacob had told me Leah Clearwater knew about the council’s meetings with Sam. Leah had even dated Sam. Maybe she would help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I got directions to the Clearwaters’ from Quil before I dropped him back off outside the convenience store. I left him with my number and told him to call me if he heard from Jacob. Or if Sam gave him a hard time. Then I drove to a small, brown house several streets down. It was bedecked with flowers - in beds throughout the yard, in window boxes, and in flower pots strewn about the front porch. The front door was painted a cheery shade of red. It felt like a safe space.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I rapped three knocks on the door. I was greeted by Seth, whose momentum caused his socked feet to slide against the floor as he glided back to give me room to enter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Bella!” His smile reminded me of Jacob’s, sending a pang through my heart. “What’re you doing here?” Seth looked behind me as if expecting Jacob or Charlie to be in tow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was hoping Leah would be here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When isn’t she here,” Seth groaned. “Leah!” He shouted back into the house. “You have company!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who is it!” Leah called back. She already sounded annoyed, and she didn’t even know it was me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just c’mere!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I listened to her stomp down the hallway until she appeared, leaning against the wall, arms crossed against her chest. She wore a tight tank top and a pair of athletic leggings, yet somehow managed to look like she’d just walked off a runway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Decide to take me up on my offer, then?” Leah purred, casually looking down at her nails.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seth immediately looked uncomfortable, hunching his shoulders nearly up to his ears. “Er, I’ll leave you two to it then.” And he disappeared down the hallway Leah had just materialized from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well?” Leah’s eyes finally met mine, and a jolt traveled up my spine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I’m here because of Jacob.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah rolled her eyes. “Because of course you are. What do you want from me?”</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jacob and I had a fight.” Leah gasped, a wicked gleam in her eyes, and flung her hand to her chest. “And he’s off somewhere with Sam. I’m worried. I thought you might know where he is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah frowned at that, all playfulness in her movements gone. “I should’ve known this was about Sam. Everything’s about Sam. Well, maybe not everything. It’s either Sam or you. Can’t anyone else ever get a drop of attention?” I stared at her wide-eyed. “C’mon then.” She led the way to a wide leather couch in the living room and flopped down, patting the cushion next to her. “Sit. I’ll tell you whatever I know.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sat at the far end of the couch and crossed my legs, cringing at the stiffness in my joints. “Do you know why Sam has all these high school kids following him around?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s his debilitating god complex.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er-okay. Um, do you know where they hang out? Where Jacob might be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah kicked her feet up and stretched out so that her toes almost hit my thigh. She wiggled them, noticing my focus. “No, I don’t know where Sam takes his band of merry men. But I do know they spend a lot of time at Sam’s place. His fiance cooks for them.” The shadows on her face seemed to lengthen. “I wouldn’t worry about Jacob. Sure, Sam is weird for hanging out with high schoolers, but it’s not like they’re doing anything actually dangerous. They just run around like a bunch of superheroes to feel cool.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Jacob said the whole group kept staring at him. It gave him the creeps. Same with Quil.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say Sam wasn’t a creep. I just don’t think he’s dangerous. But if you’re worried, I’ll keep an eye out for Jake and let you know if I see anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Leah.” I gave her a tentative smile. All I got was a raised eyebrow in return.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So is that it? You can leave if you want. Or you could stay.” Her lips curled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, yeah. I mean, I guess that’s it. Here.” I pulled an old gas receipt and a pen out of my jacket pocket and jotted down my phone number. I held it out to her, and she stared at my hand until I laid the piece of paper beside her feet. “Call me if you hear anything weird about Jacob, okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can do. Please feel free to stop by the next time you have boy troubles. The whole world is at Bella Swan’s beck and call after all. This has been a blast.” With the remote resting on the arm of the couch, she flicked on the television mounted to the wall. That was my cue to see myself out. On my way to the front door, I stared down the hallway, debating whether to say goodbye to Seth. I decided against it, not wanting to make myself more of a nuisance than I needed to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I drove by Jacob’s once more before making my way home. The blinds were drawn and all the lights were out. I couldn’t shake my anxiety for the rest of the drive. When I got home, I asked Charlie if he’d heard from Billy or Jacob, but neither had called. Charlie thought I was overreacting to Jacob and I’s fight. He assured me that Jacob would be over it by tomorrow. I wasn’t so confident. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jacob didn’t call the next day. Or the one after that. Or the one after that. No matter how many times I called him, the line was dead. Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy to replace a phone that had been torn from the wall. But Jacob could’ve called from Quil’s phone. I didn’t hear from Quil or Leah either, so at least I could hope that meant Jacob was all right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The memory of his kiss plagued my dreams. I began screaming at night again. The hole in my chest felt full of double the pain. No longer was I just haunted by </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I had two ghosts following me around. The only comfort was that I doggedly believed one of them was coming back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I drove down to the reservation every day after school, and on Saturday, I even made the drive after work. Each time, Jacob’s house was deserted, and no one came to the front door. I didn’t even see anyone while driving around the reservation’s roads. It was like a ghost town. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie took my concerns about Jacob more seriously as the days passed, but he remained distracted with work. A third hiker had gone missing, with animal tracks found near the trail. Charlie worried that Forks had an uncontrolled predator on the loose. I wanted to do more for him, but all I could offer was a freshly cooked meal every night when he came home, exhausted from trekking through the woods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela and Jessica tirelessly listened to me rant about Jacob, but both thought he probably just needed time to process my rejection. I tried to explain that I hadn’t really rejected him. I still very much wanted him in my life. But Angela and Jessica agreed that teenage boys were overly sensitive. I thought that something else had to be going on. They promised that he would come around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After two weeks of trying to call Jacob only to find the line dead, I was surprised one afternoon when the phone actually rang. Of course, no one answered. But I wasn’t going to stop trying, not when it was possible Jacob could actually pick up. After ten more calls, he finally did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello.” There was a difference to his voice that was hard to pinpoint. Perhaps it was deeper. Certainly, it felt colder. It had been leached of all the usual sunshine I’d come to rely on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob,” I breathed. It was difficult to speak. I’d spent so long trying to reach him, but all the words I’d been desperate to say fell from my mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want, Bella?” If I didn’t know Jacob’s voice so well, I wouldn’t have thought it was him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake. I’ve missed you. Where - where have you been? What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened? What do you mean, what happened? I kissed you and you ran and then you admitted you were never going to get over Edward Cullen.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I gasped out loud, almost dropping the phone receiver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? You can’t even hear his name without falling apart. It’s pathetic, Bella. And I can’t keep spending all my time trying to piece you back together. It’s not good for me. I wound up only thinking about you and your tragic, broken heart. You might like the attention, but I can’t be the one to keep giving it to you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tears filled my eyes. “Are you . . . breaking up with me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you even hear yourself? We weren’t in a relationship, Bella. A point you made very clear. I can’t keep doing this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob, please, can we talk about this? I don’t want to lose you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Bella. I don’t think I want to talk anymore. This is for your own good too, you know. You keep using me and your other friends to try to fill that hole in your life, but you need to figure out how to mend it on your own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jake -” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call here again, Bella.” Then he hung up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I found myself in a pile on the floor, clutching that yellow phone to my chest. The pain was bad. But not as bad as when </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>had left. Nothing could be that bad. With that in mind, I pulled myself up the wall. I contemplated calling Angela, craving her calm reassurances, but instead, my fingers dialed a different number entirely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>∿∿∿∿∿∿</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe he would just end things like that,” Jessica mumbled around a spoonful of chocolate fudge ice cream. “What an asshole.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But the thing is - that’s not Jacob. At least not the Jacob I know.” I shoveled my own spoon into my mouth, leaning back against the pillows on my bed. Charlie was spending the afternoon on a search for one of the missing hikers, leaving me alone to flounder in my heartbreak with Jessica. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well maybe you never even knew him. I mean, with me and Mike, one second he’ll be so sweet and charming and then the next he acts like he barely knows me. Makes me wonder which version of him is the real one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mike doesn’t deserve you anyway.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica tugged at one of her curls and stabbed her spoon into the carton sitting between us before meeting my gaze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Mike certainly doesn’t. And Jacob doesn’t deserve you either.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob is a good guy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica laughed. “That’s just what he wanted you to think until he realized he probably wouldn’t be getting into your pants. Now the charade is up. ‘Don’t call here again,’” Jessica mimicked Jacob’s deep pitch. “Who even talks like that? You didn’t do anything that could possibly be worth ending a friendship over. He just couldn’t accept that a ‘nice guy,’” Jessica placed air quotes around the phrase, “didn’t automatically get the girl after only a month and a half.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That didn’t sound like Jacob. Not my Jacob. But maybe Jessica was right. Maybe I’d never really known Jacob to begin with. The image of the destroyed kitchen behind Billy flashed in my mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So screw him,” Jessica went on. “I don’t know how you do it, but you pull all the hottest guys on the planet. Before you know it, you’ll be going on dates with Jake Gyllenhaal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead of the wound in my chest flaring up at the reference to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I laughed. “I think Jake Gyllenhaal is a little old for me, Jess.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, I’m sure some other unbelievably gorgeous guy is gonna come out of the woodwork and sweep you off your feet.” Jessica looked me up and down with a predatory look, as if prepared to cut me open to determine what exactly made all those imaginary suitors fall at my feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know about all that, Jess. I’ve only ever found one boy attractive, and he’s gone now.” I wrapped my hands around my center and told the void inside me to shut up for a few minutes. “Jacob and I were never really like that, you know? He made me so happy and I wanted to be around him all the time, but, emotionally, he was just my best friend.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t say I’ve ever had a passionate make-out session with my best friends.” Jessica sucked on her spoon with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “If that’s what best friends do, you, me, and Angela have a lot of catching up to do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She puckered her lips and leaned in toward me. I pushed her away with a squeal. When she hit the mattress, she gave a dramatic huff. Thankfully, the ice cream carton stayed upright, keeping my purple duvet free of chocolate stains. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew I shouldn’t have told you about that kiss!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you should have! I’m mad you didn’t earlier! I’m still waiting on details, Bella.” Jessica stared up at my ceiling with a dreamy expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gross, Jess!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll just have to imagine it for myself then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re insufferable.” I didn’t mean it though. This was why I had called Jessica instead of Angela. Angela would’ve wanted to talk about my feelings and help me figure out a way to move forward. Jessica on the other hand wanted nothing to do with my emotions and was guaranteed to keep my mind from dwelling on the loss. Plus, she’d brought snacks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, at least I didn’t end our friendship over the phone and then tell you to never call again.” Jessica propped herself up on an elbow and smirked at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Low blow, Jess,” I chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, we should go over to his place and give him a piece of your mind.” She lit up at the suggestion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Jess. Charlie will be home soon, and I gotta make dinner. Besides, it sounded like he really didn’t want to see me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, but just so you know, if it was me, I would’ve been down there the second he hung up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I laughed. Of course she would’ve. I wondered if that was why Mike thought things were so officially over between them. If I knew Jessica, that break up had to have been messy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica and I continued to shovel down ice cream. I was amazed by how easily she kept a conversation going. She could talk to a wall. She stayed over for dinner with Charlie, and Charlie put extra effort into making Jessica feel welcome by asking lots of questions about her time as the volleyball team captain. He even did the dishes while I walked Jessica to the door. She told me to call her later if I needed anything before she drove off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I got back up to my bedroom, I stared at the empty room. My earlier conversation with Jessica lingered in my mind and sent me back downstairs before I could get comfortable. I didn’t want to yell at Jacob or cause drama, like Jessica had suggested, but I did think I deserved more closure than a phone call. We were childhood friends after all. And we’d spent almost every day together this entire semester. It had made sense for </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>to leave me - I’d never been good enough for all </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>perfection. But Jacob. That was different. We felt like two puzzle pieces that belong together. Maybe we weren’t in agreement on how we were supposed to fit, but I refused to believe we weren’t meant to stay in each other’s lives. Jacob made me feel whole, and based on our time together, I knew I made him feel the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, I pulled on a coat from the hall closet, grabbed my truck keys from their hook, and made for the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Bells, where are you heading off to?” Charlie called from the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going down to the reservation.” I tapped my foot impatiently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What for? Did you and Jake make up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, not quite. That’s what I’m hoping to go do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, don’t go making a nuisance of yourself, Bells. I’m sure Jacob will come around when he’s ready. And I’m not so sure I want you getting involved with this Sam guy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ch-Dad. I’m not planning on getting close to Sam. He’s basically made a cult, remember? I just need to see Jacob again. It’s been weeks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie loosed a heavy sigh. “Alright, Bells. But be careful okay? No going off the road by yourself. We still don’t know what’s happening to all these missing hikers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You got it, Dad.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I drove as fast as I dared given the fading sunlight. I tried to plan out what I would say to Jacob. I was determined that I wouldn’t leave until I saw him. I needed to see his face. He had to tell me in person that I wasn’t good for him. Only then would I truly believe it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I pulled up to his house, I was relieved to see a light shining from the kitchen window. Someone was home. That was more than I could say for the past few weeks. I took several deep breaths and attempted to channel all the confidence of Jessica Stanley. She would march up to the front door and demand answers, head held high. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I threw my shoulders back and made to get out of my truck. But I slipped on the slick drive and landed hard on my hands and knees. Gravel dug into my palms as I stood to brush myself off. Not a great start. Jessica probably managed to be so confident because she wasn’t constantly falling on her ass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nerves settled in on my walk up the driveway. The memory of the destroyed kitchen came to the forefront of my mind. But Jacob was my best friend. He wouldn’t hurt me, no matter how upset he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My fist rapped against the wooden front door three times. I waited in silence, listening to a slight patter of rain start up behind me. I knocked again. I reminded myself that I wasn’t leaving here until I got answers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After my third series of knocks, I heard wheels approach the door. I wasn’t surprised when Billy swung it open. The scene behind him was much cheerier. A new blue wallpaper was affixed behind a new telephone. The kitchen table had reclaimed its leg and was upright in the center of the room. No sign of the damage I’d seen was present. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Billy.” I tried to place as much bravado in my voice as I could manage. “I’m here to see Jacob.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob’s out. I can tell him you stopped by.” Billy began to swing the door shut. In a panic, I pressed my sneaker against the doorframe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can wait. I have time.” I didn’t wait for Billy to answer before I shouldered my way in. There was no sign of Jacob, and I wasn’t sure if I should push my luck yet by going down the hallway to his bedroom. I leaned against a counter with my arms crossed. Billy sighed, then shut the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Care for some tea, Bella?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” I watched as Billy went about putting a tea kettle on the stove. I offered to help but he turned me down, despite my persistence. I sat at the table with him when he handed me a chipped mug full of still-steeping water. The steam from it caressed my cheek and clouded my vision. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella,  I appreciate you being willing to wait for Jacob, but he’s going to be out pretty late tonight. He went with some of his friends to go see a movie. A late showing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sipped at my tea. It was minty, but not in an overpowering way. I stared at Billy over the rim of the mug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe when he gets back, you can tell him to give me a call?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, Jacob needs some time to process. You’re not giving him that time.” Billy’s tone wasn’t unkind. More patient than I would’ve expected, given the fact that I’d practically busted into his home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been weeks, Billy. I want to have a conversation with him in person. I deserve that much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Billy stared down into his own tea. “Bella, I understand how you feel. I really do. Losing someone and not getting that closure. It hurts. But Jacob is doing what’s best for him right now. And it’s what’s best for you too, even if you can’t see it. You need to respect Jake’s wishes. When he’s ready to talk, he’ll call you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt ridiculous. My time with Jessica had resulted in me being desperate and inconsiderate. Here I was, arguing with Jacob’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>dad</span>
  </em>
  <span>. How far I’d fallen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, Billy. I - I shouldn’t have come.” I sat my mug on the table and nearly sprinted back for the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you around, Bella. Be careful. I’ve heard there are bears out in the woods.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tears blinded me as I made my way back to the truck. Foolish. I was so foolish. I’d been so convinced that Jacob could never be </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> so Jacob could never leave me. That wasn’t how real life worked. Humans ended relationships with each other all the time too. I’d just never been so invested in one before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I peeled away as soon as I got back in the driver’s seat. I was too ashamed to continue sitting in front of Jacob’s house. But I didn’t make it far. Only a minute, and I had to pull over. I clutched at my center and allowed the hole in my chest to suck me down into its never ending darkness. The pain was bad. But, I reminded myself, not as bad as it could be. I only had two months of memories with Jacob - which was nothing compared to my memories of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This would hurt. I could acknowledge that, while still believing that I wouldn’t fall back into my zombie phase. No matter how badly I wanted the numbness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tears dropped on my cheeks in rhythm to the rain pelting my windshield. I’d give myself ten more minutes, then I would need to drive home. I couldn’t sit on the side of the road all night. Charlie would get worried. I began counting my breaths. </span>
  <em>
    <span>One</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>two</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>three </span>
  </em>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sharp tap on the window beside me made me scream. A figure loomed in the gloom beyond. I could make out dark skin and a black jacket, but nothing else through the rivers of water pouring down the glass. I put the truck into drive, about to pull away in a panic, when the tap became more urgent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What’s the worst that could be out there? The fact that it was dark outside didn’t mean that a monster was lurking. I was at La Push. I was safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I rolled down my window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To find Leah Clearwater glaring back at me. That’s when I realized I’d pulled over in front of a familiar brown house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you having an episode or something? Of course you’d decide to park in front of my house for it. Where else could Bella Swan possibly go?” She reached her hand through the open space left by the window and unlocked the door, swinging it open immediately after. “Scoot over will you? I’m not trying to drown out here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bewildered, I shifted the truck back into park and did what she asked, sliding across the seat till I was almost pressed against the passenger door. Leah gracefully jumped inside and rolled the window back up. My mouth may have actually been hanging open while I stared at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well?” she asked, tossing her hood off her head. Her hair fell loose around her shoulders, its wet strands blending into the black of her jacket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what?” My voice sounded like a whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In case you didn’t realize, you’re the one who parked outside my house for a sob session. I would’ve let you sit out here all night, but Mom insisted I come check to see if </span>
  <em>
    <span>the </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bella Swan needed help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine. I don’t need any help. So you can go back inside, and I’ll drive home.” I expected her to leap back out of my truck, but instead she turned to face me. Her lips puckered while her eyes scanned me from head to toe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t look fine. How about we cut to the chase where you tell me your problems?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want me to tell you my problems? My best friend dumped me immediately after telling me that he would never leave me. And right before that, my ex-boyfriend skipped town with almost no notice, taking his entire family and my former best friend with him.” My fingers dug into my ribs, tightening my arms across my chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s tough. My boyfriend broke up with me right when I thought we were getting serious and then proposed to my cousin months later.” Leah leaned her head back against the headrest and smirked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s tough too?” I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, it’s fucking tough. Now I’m a loser going nowhere, still living with my parents. Everyone on the reservation would feel sorry for me, if they didn’t already hate me so much. Because apparently a woman scorned shouldn’t actually act scorned. I’d only get sympathy if I acted like you and cried everywhere I went.” The upturn to Leah’s lips didn’t falter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, because it was a blast passing out in the woods only to have a giant stranger carry me off. And to then barely exist for a couple months.” My eyes started to water again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, true, that sucks too. Guess there is no winning in heartbreak. So what did Jacob do now? Run off into the sunset with Sam? Would only serve Emily right.” I could only assume that Emily was her cousin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, he might have, I wouldn’t know. He ignored me for weeks, and when I finally got him on the phone he told me I wasn’t good for him and that I shouldn’t call him again.” Leah nodded her head sagely. Her expression didn’t show any surprise at the news. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ouch. Better or worse than getting ditched in the middle of the woods?” Leah’s eyes didn’t break my gaze while she waited for my answer. They were so dark they were nearly onyx, like a continuation of the stormy night outside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d say so. At least this time, you can suffer with your truck heater blasting.” At those words, she cranked up the dial. Then, she waved a hand at the hole gaping in the dashboard. A mirror to the void inside of myself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what happened here? You’d think having a mechanic best friend - excuse me - ex-best friend would have led to better results.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did that myself. Before Jacob and I started hanging out again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” There was no judgment in that question. Only pure curiosity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t stand the sound of music after he was gone.” I hadn’t spoken that out loud to anyone. Not Jacob. Not Angela or Jessica. All it had taken was Leah Clearwater of all people simply asking me </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get that. When Sam and I broke up, I didn’t go down to the beach for months. That had always been our thing. Eventually I just had to rip off the bandaid and do it. It hurt like hell. The next time was easier though. You should get a new stereo.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was going to ask Jacob to help me with that, but now -” I gestured my hands helplessly in the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you should get it done yourself. So you can’t associate it with anyone else. You can be a person on your own without a boy dictating your happiness.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No boy dictates my happiness.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah snorted. “You sure about that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’m sure,” I snapped. In truth, Leah might have a point. But there was no way she could genuinely understand what I had lost. We might have both been left, but I lost an entire future. An entire family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah’s eyes brightened and she gave me a lopsided smile. “I wish someone had mentioned your anger issues earlier. I wouldn’t have spent so much time resenting you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, Leah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay, whatever Bella. Just make sure when you get that stereo replaced, you play music you actually like. Even if it tears you apart.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you care?” I glared at her. She glared back until her brows threaded together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m honestly not sure. But since I do . . .” She grabbed a crumpled napkin from my dashboard. “You got a pen?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, what?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nevermind, you’re useless.” She opened the glove compartment and began rooting around till she pulled back, triumphantly holding up a pen. “I’ll give you my number.” She scratched down digits on the napkin and then handed it to me, careful to keep our fingers from brushing. I quickly shoved the scrap into my jacket pocket. “That way you can call me. You know, in case you miss coming down to the reservation. Or you run out of people to cry to after every minor inconvenience.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, thanks, Leah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>welcome</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Bella. Are you feeling better?” She appraised me quickly. “You’re not gripping your ribs tight enough to snap them in half anymore so I’m going to assume yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes. But she was right. My arms were now slack at my side. I hadn’t even noticed the shift. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Later, Bella. Try not to get into any tragedies on your way home. I’ll report back to my Mom that you are alive and well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then she was gone as fast as she had appeared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I put the truck into drive and made my way home. My brain couldn’t decide whether to replay my embarrassing scene with Billy or to focus on Leah’s impromptu appearance. For some reason, my thoughts kept snagging on the one drop of rain that had rolled down Leah’s cheek, leaving a shiny trail in its wake. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Another week passed without word from Jacob. I no longer waited by the phone every day after school. And by the following Saturday, I’d stopped waiting to hear the sound of his Rabbit pulling up the street. Instead, I turned my focus to getting the stereo in my truck replaced. I used some of my college savings to get the work done by a mechanic. I still hadn’t been brave enough to turn the system on, but I didn’t have much time to focus on it. I’d gotten swept up in the excitement of the upcoming girl’s choice dance at Forks High. And now the day was finally here. I was watching Jessica and Angela get ready for their dates. They’d both agreed that my house was the perfect location since Charlie would be out at the station. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe Mike asked me to ask him to the girl’s choice dance? I mean, you should’ve seen Conner’s face when he found out,” Jessica prattled from her seat at my desk as she smeared blush across her cheekbones. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jess, it’s not that shocking. You told me to tell Mike to ask you,” Angela chuckled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But still! He did it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you said yes. We’ve only talked about it every minute of every day,” I said. Jessica shot a glare at me over her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. But now Conner is going with Lauren.” Jessica sounded worried. I was glad that Mike had followed my Valentine’s advice and decided to pursue Jessica again. I was happy that she was happy. But another, unintended positive was that Lauren and Jessica were now officially on the outs. It seemed Lauren had had a crush on Conner all along. Or maybe she’d just wanted to stir up some drama with Jessica. Either way, I was thankful that I no longer had to tolerate Lauren at the lunch table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we all know Lauren only asked him so that he would have a date. Conner is still obsessed with you.” Angela’s voice was muffled by the dress she was pulling over her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think him and Mike will get in a fight, do you?” Jessica asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can only hope,” I murmured. Angela giggled at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, can you zip me up?” Angela asked as she shuffled over to the bed. Her dress was a deep, emerald green. Its neckline cut across her collarbones, and its full skirt fell to just below her knees. It was modest but beautiful. A total contrast to the scarlet red, plunging neckline Jessica had planned. I pieced the two sides of Angela’s dress together and pulled the zipper upward, careful not to snag her hair in it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Jessica swiveled my desk chair to face me. “It’s not too late. I could lend you a dress.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should come.” Angela gripped my arm. “We’ll miss you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just some streamers and music in the cafeteria, I don’t think I’ll be missing much. Besides, you both have dates!” If my clumsiness and general apathy toward teen traditions weren’t enough to keep me from the dance, the prospect of being a fifth wheel was. The person I would’ve asked to be my date had no interest in me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you’re still going to come to Austin Marks’ party after, right?” Jessica asked. Austin Marks, one of the newcomers at our lunch table, was hosting an after-party for the girl’s choice dance. He’d been thrilled that his parents were going out of town this weekend. Jessica and Angela had tirelessly spent the week convincing me to come to the party, even if I didn’t attend the dance. I had yet to give them a clear answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure,” I hedged. “Wouldn’t it be weird for me to just show up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Definitely not,” Jessica answered. “I’m pretty sure Malorie Johnson said she was only going to the party too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Plus, we want you there, Bella,” Angela added, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “It’ll be fun. You deserve to let loose a bit.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright fine. I’ll come.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hopefully not wearing that.” Jessica eyed me up and down, making me self-conscious of my sweatpants and t-shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only an hour later, the pair were ready to go meet their dates. Jessica had laid an outfit on my bed for me to wear later. A simple long-sleeved blouse and jeans. Not what I’d pick out but it was cute enough. I waved them out my door, after taking their pictures in front of the fireplace. Jessica had insisted on no fewer than thirty different poses to “make sure I got all her good angles.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Faced with loneliness yet again, I made a frozen pizza for dinner and wondered how crowded Forks’ only steakhouse restaurant was tonight. It was definitely where all the dance-goers would stop first. I was glad to have the evening to myself. Or at least, I told myself I was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After I ate, I settled into the couch with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wuthering Heights</span>
  </em>
  <span>, hoping to lose myself in Heathcliff and Catherine. But I couldn’t focus on the words. I felt suffocated by the quiet in the house. The silence pressed in on me, leading my mind to thoughts and memories I did not want to dwell on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So I turned on the tv instead and found a sitcom to watch. I wasn’t familiar with the characters, but I forced my mind to pay close attention to the story. Within a couple hours, I was chuckling along with the laugh track. Only the sound of Charlie walking in the door reminded me that I should probably go change for this party. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Dad. There’s leftover pizza in the kitchen.” I motioned toward the kitchen table while making my way to the stairs. Charlie looked exhausted. The bags under his eyes were a deep purple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pizza? Thanks, Bells. I’m starving.” Charlie hung up his gun and his jacket before making a beeline to the food.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Long day at the station?” I leaned against the wooden bannister of the stairs, watching Charlie put a plate in the microwave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could say that. These missing hikers have us stumped. Besides some tracks, there hasn’t been a sign of the bear anywhere. The Clallam County police are getting involved too since there are hikers going missing outside Forks. They think it might be tied to some disappearances happening in Seattle, but my gut says no. These are animal attacks, plain and simple. Nothing human could leave a track like that.” Charlie pulled a hand down his face, a motion that made him look years older. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s horrible, Dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Bells, it sure is. Just promise me you won’t be going into the woods anytime soon, alright?” I knew his mind turned to a night when I was lost for hours in the forest beside our house. I clutched my arms across my chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You got it. No woods. Can do.” I turned to head upstairs. Butterflies of nerves already rolled in my stomach at the idea of my first highschool party. I considered not showing up but didn’t want to disappoint Jessica and Angela. I owed them for all the times they had come through for me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I dressed in the outfit Jessica had chosen for me and took the time to put on some mascara I had picked up from the drugstore. I would likely end up looking drab next to all the other girls in their dresses, but I felt pretty. I wished Jacob could see me at this party. The old Jacob would have been proud to see me take such a leap, but that Jacob was gone. Now he didn’t seem to care at all about me or my social life. Because he thought we were bad for each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I rushed downstairs and grabbed my coat. I only made it two steps to the door before Charlie noticed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bells,” Charlie called out from the couch, “where you headed off to so late?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go see Jessica and Angela.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But wasn’t the school dance tonight?” Charlie’s suspicions were raised and apparently he was content to play twenty questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, yeah, it was. But they wanted to hang out after.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm. Where you girls hanging out at?” This was dangerous territory. I hadn’t planned on telling Charlie where, specifically, I was going. He was lenient, but I wasn’t sure if he was party-full-of-teenagers lenient. But I couldn’t say I was going to Jessica’s or Angela’s. Charlie would definitely call their parents to make sure I was actually there. I settled for a version of the truth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to Austin Marks’ place.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Austin Marks?” Charlie’s tone dripped with disapproval. “That boy can be trouble, Bells.” This was news. I’d have to ask Jessica and Angela about that later. It took a lot to end up on Charlie’s bad side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, he sits with us at lunch and he invited the lunch table to come over. And Jessica and Angela really want me there.” I wasn’t lying since Austin technically had invited the lunch table. Along with the rest of Forks High.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie hmphed then turned back to the television. “Alright, Bells. Be careful. You call if you need anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Dad.” I scurried down the walkway to the truck. Thankfully, the rain was now just a light drizzle. I blasted the heater, then followed the directions Jessica had told me to get to Austin’s. Minutes later, I pulled up to a two-story colonial painted a bright white. Cars lined the street. I sincerely hoped all these kids were planning on sleeping here or walking home. As the police chief’s daughter, I couldn’t condone drinking and driving. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I parked in an available stretch of the curb. After a deep breath to steady myself, I made my way to the front door. I didn’t know how to proceed from there. Loud music blared out from inside. Would anyone even hear if I knocked? Did people even knock before walking into parties?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was saved from my dilemma by a tearful Lauren bursting out. She pushed my shoulders to get me out of the way. Conner followed after her, his teeth bared in a grimace. He waved his hand at me sheepishly in apology. But there was no need. I got to see Lauren crying, and she was leaving the party. This was a good omen for the night to come. I stepped inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella!” Jessica squealed. “Finally, you’re here!” Her full body weight crashed into me, and the drink in her hand sloshed against my jacket. “Oh, whoops,” she giggled, dabbing at the forming stain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jess.” I smiled. Jessica was already drunk. “How was the dance?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>awesome</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Jessica reached out a hand to grab my arm. “They made a really good use of streamers this year.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t go wrong with streamers,” I chuckled. I peered around her. “Where’s Angela? And Mike?” Jessica appeared to be alone, which was uncommon for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mike is playing beer pong with Austin, and I think Angela went to get a drink? I don’t know. She’s wherever Ben is.” Jessica said this like it answered my question completely. “Speaking of, where is your drink?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just got here, Jess.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well this must be rectified immediately.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me further into the house. It seemed like the entire high school was here. And everyone was still in their outfits from the dance. I felt horrifically underdressed. I tucked my jacket tighter around me, hoping to hide my casual clothes. The loud beat of an unfamiliar pop song pulsed through me. I was glad I couldn’t hear the words, as I still hadn’t overcome my aversion to music. The stereo in my truck remained unused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We finally arrived at a kitchen island covered in cups and bottles of alcohol. A group of juniors crowding the corner of the kitchen watched Jessica and I approach. Jessica grabbed a red plastic cup and held it out to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’ll it be?” she asked. I eyed the mess, grappling for an answer. Then my eyes found a comforting red can. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a coke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re kidding.” Jessica rolled her eyes and shook the cup still in her hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er - no. Is that bad?” The collective gaze of the juniors in front of us made me self-conscious. Not five minutes into my first party and I was already embarrassing myself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, c’mon. You have to have a drink. It’s the principle of the matter.” Without giving me time to argue, Jessica grabbed a heavy looking glass bottle and poured a clear liquid into the red cup. She then cracked open a coke and poured that on top. With a smirk, she handed the mix to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There. A coke with a little something extra.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jess,” I mumbled. I sniffed at the drink. Smelled safe enough. I took a sip. My eyes scrunched at the taste but it wasn’t altogether bad. The sweet taste of the soda masked the bitter tang of whatever Jessica had poured in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jessica made herself a drink as well then steered me toward the living room. An l-shaped couch was covered with spectators watching Eric and Tyler play a video-game on the flatscreen television. A card table was set up beside the couch. And there was Mike playing beer pong with Austin against Angela and Ben. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angela smiled when she saw me, waving Jessica and I over. When I was close enough to hear her over the music, Angela raised her own red cup to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cheers, Bella! I’m so happy you’re here.” She gave me a loose hug, brushing her lips against my cheek. I laughed and waved hello to Ben over her shoulder. He gave me a loose grin back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Angela! Are you winning?” I surveyed the table. I had no clue how the game was actually played, but Mike and Austin had more cups laid out in front of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They wish!” Mike shouted from across the table. Austin gave him a high five. Angela only sneered back at them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The objective is to knock out the other teams cups by getting the ball in,” Jessica whispered in my ear, not wanting to embarrass me in front of the group. “Every time the other team gets one of your cups, you have to drink.” I shot Jessica a grateful look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, sub in for me,” Ben said. “I wanna go play with Eric and Tyler.” He pressed a kiss to Angela’s forehead then stepped off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, Angela. Don’t hate me if we lose, okay?” Angela looked at me with wide eyes then laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Bella. I’m awful too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She really was. We played three rounds and lost horribly each time. But I had stopped caring about the game. Jessica had refilled Angela and I’s drinks and now my head felt like it was floating above my body. I couldn’t stop laughing at everything Jessica and Angela said. My movements became sloppier and my words slurred together. A warmth filled my veins, so I could no longer feel the void in my chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mike and Austin were the ones to call quits on our game, claiming they couldn’t stand to keep watching us struggle. Angela and I broke down in giggles. Mike then grabbed Jessica and led her toward the stairs. She raised her eyebrows and winked before they disappeared from view. Angela and I sat down on the couch to watch the group playing video games. To all the boys’ chagrin, Katie Marshall was now winning. Angela and I became her two person cheerleading squad. Many high fives and hugs were shared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the night progressed, Angela eventually ended up in Ben’s lap, nuzzled into his neck. Everyone else had begun to couple off as well, making me realize how alone I was. I looked around and spotted Austin, now in the kitchen with Eric. I stumbled over to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Austin.” He grabbed me by my waist to steady me, chuckling at my clumsiness. “Do you have a phone I could use?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Bella, of course. It’s probably too loud for the one downstairs, but go upstairs, two doors down on the right and you can use the one in my parents’ room. If anyone is in there, just kick them out.” He smirked over at Eric. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The house seemed to twist and turn as I walked with halting steps upstairs. The way the floor pitched beneath my feet had me regretting my earlier drinks. I was grateful for the bannister along the stairway. Without it, I would have likely plunged to my death. Or at the very least, made a fool of myself. I pressed my hands on the wall as I counted the doors on the right side of the upstairs hallway. Then I busted through the second door. Thankfully, no one was inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a minute before I spotted the landline on the bedside table. I flopped down on the king sized bed and picked up the receiver. I thought about calling Jacob, the one person I desperately wanted to talk to, but I wasn’t sure I could face his cruelty again. Instead, I fumbled in my jacket pocket for a slip of paper. Carefully, so I wouldn’t mess up, I dialed the number scribbled on it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A woman’s voice, groggy with sleep, answered. “Hello?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, is Leah there?” My words came out as a jumbled mess. I coughed, hoping that would fix the issue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, hell. Bella?” The voice, now sharp, was familiar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leahhh, I’m calling like you said I should. I’ve run out of people to cry to,” I giggled, recalling her words to me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, are you drunk right now?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Of course not! I’m the police chief’s daughter, I wouldn’t drink underage.” The thought of Charlie in his uniform brought forth more giggles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, where are you? Why did you call?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I’m lonely, Leah. My friends have boyfriends and they don’t wanna hang out with me any more. The party got lame. And the floor keeps moving. Is that normal?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Those damn floors, huh. Where are you, Bella? I’ll come get you. We can hang out. No boyfriends to get in the way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m at Austin Marks’ house.” I twirled the phone’s wire around my finger, wondering idly if I could just sleep on this bed tonight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And where does Austin Marks live, Bella?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On the same street as Mike Newton.” Leah’s sigh emanated down the line. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on, Bella. What street?” I wracked my brain for an answer. What street did Austin live on? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sawyer Way! He lives on Sawyer Way.” I hummed with satisfaction at my excellent memory. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Bella. How will I be able to tell which house is Austin’s? What does it look like?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a bunch of cars out front. My truck is there too. You know my truck, right?” I laughed, because obviously Leah knew my truck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. I’ll be there soon, Bella. Wait for me outside, okay? Don’t leave the front of the house and don’t get in your truck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hung up with a final muttered expletive. I only laughed more and fell back against the queen-sized bed. The quilted comforter had a swirl of pink flowers across it. It was soft beneath my fingers. I watched the fan on the ceiling spin and wished I could just go to sleep. But Leah was coming. And she didn’t have a boyfriend so she’d want to hang out with me. Maybe we could get food. My stomach, despite sloshing with all I’d had to drink, rumbled with hunger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I gave myself what felt like five minutes before heading back downstairs. I looked for Angela and Ben on the couch to say goodbye, but they were no longer there. Jessica was still off with Mike, and I wasn’t willing to stumble into whatever they had going on upstairs. With a final glance around the foyer of the house, I walked outside. A handful of people were running around in the front yard, playing some version of tag. I laughed as I watched a girl from my physics class fall on her ass after tripping over her own feet. Guess I wasn’t the only clumsy one at Forks High. My laugh drew the attention of those playing. One of the guys asked me to join. I could barely walk let alone run. Still, I didn’t want to stand there awkwardly watching. So, I lied and told the group I was walking home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To make my lie convincing I headed down the street in the direction I thought my house was. The ground continued to feel like it was waving beneath me. Leah would find me as long as I didn’t go too far. She’d probably drive right past me. After a minute, I was surrounded only by woods on either side, and the sounds of the drunk teens faded into the night. I paused when I realized I wasn’t sure if I was heading the right way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I knew it had to be cold outside, especially with a light rain still falling. But I didn’t feel any chill. If anything, I felt too warm. I sat on the side of the road and turned my face up to the rain, hoping it would cool me off. I should have walked back to the party, even if I felt awkward about waiting outside, but I just wanted to rest for a few minutes. I sent up a silent prayer for my legs to work properly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the rain began to let up, a noise came from the woods behind me. A slight rustle. The shift of feet. Or maybe two branches rubbing together. I told myself it was just a squirrel or a deer. But then the sound rang out again, louder and closer than before. I shot to my feet, lurching against a tree trunk next to me, and whipped around to face the forest. All the hikers that have gone missing jumped to the forefront of my mind. Charlie had made me promise to stay out of the woods, and here I was laying myself out like bear bait right at the edge of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that wasn’t a bear standing among the trees. A man stood there, completely motionless. His skin had a pallid nature to it, and he nearly gleamed in the moonlight that peaked through the clouds. He wore clothes typical of a hiker, but they were frayed and torn. He was no hiker. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Laurent!” I cried out, clapping my hands together enthusiastically. On unsteady feet, I entered the trees to get closer to him. Laurent had been part of James’ coven, and I remembered his face from the night all the trouble had first started. He was supposed to be in Alaska with the other vegetarian vampires. Yet, here he was. Proof that my foray into the realm of myths had been real and not all in my imagination. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smirked at my drunken attempts to traverse the terrain. In a flash, he was beside me, ice cold hands steadying me. My heart stuttered at his movements, so fast I couldn’t see them. The shock cleared some of the fog from my brain, but left the joy I felt to see him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, how unexpected. What are you doing out here on this road by yourself so far away from your friends?” He nodded his head in the direction of the party. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You remember me,” I drawled. It was ridiculous, but his saying my name validated all the pain I’d gone through since the resident vampires left town. It was proof that somewhere out there, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>existed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could I forget one so fragrant?” He asked, drawing his nose close to my jawline. I jolted backward but his fingers, now tight on my forearms, kept me in place. The pain made the world come into sharp focus. “I didn’t expect to find you here so easily.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could say the same to you,” I chuckled. The sound was a forced attempt to seem unbothered. “Shouldn’t you be in Alaska drinking a moose or something?” The alcohol still had my tongue loose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Laurent threw his head back and laughed, finally releasing me. The motion was so smooth, it unsettled me. I’d forgotten how otherworldly the supernatural are. This close to me, his beauty took my breath away. His skin was poreless. His proportions were perfectly symmetrical. His smell was intoxicating, making my mind swirl. Which was not helping me sober up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bella. I was in Alaska, but I decided to pay the Cullens a visit. Yet, the Cullen place is empty. I thought they’d moved on.” Laurent reached back out, catching a strand of my hair and tucking it behind my ear. A shiver traveled down my spine. Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t get my brain to pinpoint what. I was actively fighting off my intoxication. I wasn’t sure if I should readily admit the Cullens were gone. Why was he here? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They had to move on to a different town,” I said. I forced a smile to my face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Laurent cocked his head to the side. “They would leave their pet behind? They seemed quite attached.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I gave a breathy laugh. A rustle sounded in the trees behind Laurent. I squinted my eyes to try to see in the darkness. The moonlight was receding, shrouding Laurent and I in shadows. He watched me with shrewd eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Red eyes. His eyes were a bright scarlet. Fear turned my body to ice. The Cullens - I forced the name to my mind - had gold eyes. Good vampires had gold eyes. The vampire in front of me didn’t have gold eyes. Which meant he wasn’t drinking animal blood. He was drinking human blood. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>killing </span>
  </em>
  <span>people. The hiker garb he wore started to take on a sinister meaning. Despite my terror, I stayed still. I couldn’t show him I was afraid. He needed to think I was still protected by the Cullens. He’d been scared of them before. I needed to make him scared now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re not gone. They visit all the time,” I lied. The alcohol at least numbed the pain in my chest from talking about </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do they?” He murmured. He started to circle me slowly. “The house smelled like they hadn’t been there in months.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh sure, they don’t stay in the house when they visit. Edward and Alice usually come to my place.” I almost choked on the names. It was the first time I’d said his name out loud since he’d left. But I soldiered on with my lies. “You know, since they visit to see me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Strange . . . your house didn’t smell like them either.” A small squeak escaped me at that. In front of me again, Laurent smiled in amusement. He’d been to my house. He was looking for me. I hoped because he was searching for the Cullens, but it seemed equally likely he was hunting for a Bella-sized snack. And, like an idiot, I’d stumble right into his path. Poor Charlie. There’d probably be a Forensic Files episode on my disappearance. At least I’d get my fifteen minutes of fame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well. We usually go out, ya know? I’ll have to tell them you’re looking for them next time they’re here.” I stepped back, but Laurent matched me, moving forward at the same time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I wasn’t looking for them. I was looking for you.” He ghosted even closer until we were nearly nose to nose. His cool breath startled me, setting my heart racing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” I whispered. Maybe if I screamed loudly enough, the people at the party would hear me. I just needed to calm down and take a good breath. But my lungs wouldn’t work. My breaths came as short pants, in tempo with my thundering heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here with Victoria.” He frowned. “She won’t be happy that I got you alone first.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And why won’t she be happy?” I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because she wanted to be the one to kill you.” His nose now tracked my cheekbone. I listened as he inhaled deeply. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t we wait for her then? No need to rush things.” My voice was laced with desperation. My head was reeling. Why did Victoria want me dead? Why did Laurent?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you’d like that, Bella,” he said my name like we were intimate lovers. A deep, throaty sound. “You see, she’s put out with you. Or rather, I suppose she’s put out with your mate. Edward.” I closed my eyes at his name. He’d left me, and I was going to die because of it. “James was her mate, and she wants to get her revenge. A mate for a mate. But I have a feeling you do not mean as much to Edward as she believes if he left you here unprotected.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn’t have time to wallow in my worthlessness. I was facing down death, and I needed to keep my head about me. Or as best I could considering I was definitely still drunk. How could I get Laurent to stop? To keep me alive? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you hurt me, the Cullens will kill you. Two against seven are not great odds. James already tried it before with Victoria and you saw how well that went.” Laurent only smirked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bella. You and I are out here alone. I don’t think the Cullens will be able to do much of anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His lips hovered right above my neck, mere centimeters away. I was out of options. I was a stupid teenage girl who’d gotten too drunk, and I was going to die alone in the woods. My eyes watered, and I felt my cheeks dampen with tears. I brought an image of Edward to my mind alongside memories of Angela, Jessica, Jacob, Charlie . . . a final goodbye. For some reason, my brain conjured up a deep rumbling growl coming from somewhere out in the woods. Perhaps my subconscious wanted to pretend that Edward was coming to save me one more time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Car lights shone from the street and someone’s tires squealed to a halt along the curb. Laurent leaned back, and I whipped around to face the road. A white sedan was parked at a harsh angle, edging into the grass leading up to the trees. The driver’s door flung open, and Leah leapt out. She didn’t lose momentum as she continued running right up to me. Her eyes were wide and her movements were jerky. She wore a large sweater, sweatpants, and calf high socks tucked into fuzzy slippers, like she had come straight from bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella!” Leah called out. “Get away from her!” She crashed into me, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me tightly to her. Her arms enveloped my shoulders, and she whirled me back toward the car. I looked behind me and was surprised to find that Laurent was no longer there. Just empty, dark woods. Leah’s head whipped back and forth scanning the trees. I only stared up at her as I clung to her sweater. A sob shuddered my frame. Without another word, she rushed me into the passenger seat of her car, locked the doors, and took off down the road.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Leah kept frantically glancing at me. She was driving fast. Really fast. I wanted to tell her to slow down, but I couldn’t form words over my choking sobs. I’d been seconds away from dying. Somehow, Leah had saved my life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella,” Leah sounded like she might cry herself, “are you okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” I choked out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who - </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>was that, Bella?” She looked at me, waiting for an answer. I just shook my head. “One second a creepy dude is holding you and kissing your throat, and the next second, he’s gone. I didn’t even see him move. Like at all. He was fucking fast. Too fast. He didn’t even look like a man. Not a real one anyway. He was so pale. And I swear his eyes were red. I didn’t make that up. There was someone there, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I contemplated saying no for a second. But I owed Leah my life, the least I could do was tell her the truth. Or as much of the truth as I could. I couldn’t tell her the specifics. It would put Leah in danger. Not to mention that I’d promised </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>I would keep his secret. So I merely nodded my head to signal that, yes, someone else had been in the woods with me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, Bella. Fuck. Okay.” Leah stared at the road ahead and clenched the steering wheel with her left hand. With her other hand, she squeezed my knee. Then, her eyes narrowed. “Oh, also a big fuck you for not being outside the house like I told you to be. I had to traipse around that house like a fucking idiot looking for you. Wasting time. When you clearly needed me to </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally save your life</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Leah slammed her hand against the steering wheel. “Fuck!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I started to shake in my seat. Not because of Leah, but because her words were making my actions tonight more real. I’d gotten drunk and then meandered off by myself on a secluded stretch of road. Where I’d almost been murdered. A vampire was running around near a house full of drunken teenagers. Any one of my friends could wander off alone and end up a snack tonight. I punched my fist to my mouth to keep in a scream. Only my knowledge of the Volturi kept me from falling apart. The Volturi were the guards of the vampire world. They safeguarded the secret of vampires, eliminating anyone who threatened that secret. Laurent and Victoria wanted me dead, but they wouldn’t kill other teenagers in a small town, at least not so close to town. It could bring down the Volturi’s attention. But the hikers in the Forks area apparently weren’t as fortunate. At least we didn’t have a bear problem. As long as my friends didn’t go off down a hiking trail, they were safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah must have felt my shaking, because her tone softened. “Bella, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking like that. I don’t even know what happened. I’m just - I’m glad you called. You’re safe now. We’re gonna get you home. We’ll wake up Charlie, and we’ll hunt that guy down.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wake Charlie up? No, we couldn’t do that. Charlie couldn’t know what had happened. Not because I was worried about getting in trouble, but because I didn’t need homicidal vampires going after Charlie too. The thought calmed my tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Leah. You can’t tell Charlie about what you saw.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why - because you’re scared whoever that was will come hurt you?” Leah scowled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not that. Charlie can’t know. You can’t know. Or else other . . . people might hurt you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah scoffed. “What other people? Are you just now telling me Forks has a mafia connection or something? It’s not exactly a dangerous place.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I dug my fingers into the upholstery of her passenger seat. “Forks is more dangerous than you think it is, Leah. I can’t tell you why without sentencing you to death.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, we need to tell Charlie. I get you just went through something traumatic, but if these </span>
  <em>
    <span>people</span>
  </em>
  <span> are as dangerous as you say they are, we need to get the cops involved.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I opened my mouth to protest further but we pulled up outside of my house. The porch light was still on. Thankfully, there was no glare of the television from the living room window. At least I wouldn’t have to explain my current state to Charlie, and there was less risk of Leah telling him everything. I should have sent Leah away because I was now a walking vampire target, but I couldn’t until I made her promise not to tell anyone she’d seen Laurent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, Bella, let’s go.” She got out of the car and came to the passenger side, opening the door to help me out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah, wait. I know you want to tell Charlie about the strange man in the woods. I get it. If I was in your position, I would want to. But give me a chance to explain some first, okay? Please?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah threw her hands up in exasperation. “Fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She followed me inside, stomping her feet to show annoyance until I told her to be quiet. I deadbolted the door, despite knowing that would do little to protect me. Then, we went upstairs to my bedroom. I crossed to the window and flipped back the curtains, peering out into the night. Leah sat at my desk and merely watched me. I checked the lock on the window with a wry smile. Then, I pulled out a pair of pajamas from my dresser and changed into them immediately, wanting to feel warm and dry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally cozy - or as cozy as a girl marked for death could be - I curled under a blanket on my bed and stared at Leah. She came and sat next to me, shrugging out of her sweater and kicking off her slippers. I noticed that the fuzzy bits of her slippers were now drenched. They were probably ruined. I felt a pang of guilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah sat beside me and put an arm around my shoulder. “Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. I’m not. But that’s not important.” Leah scowled. “I need you to promise you won’t mention that man to </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It has to be our secret.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand. Because he’s dangerous?” I pursed my lips, considering how much I could actually share. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. But also because there are others like him that would come for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean - others like him? Like what, Bella? How do you know him? I’ve never seen anyone like that around Forks before.” Leah shuddered then bit her lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I laughed at the absurdity. Everyone in Forks had seen people like him before. At least seven of them. And Leah’s tribe told legends about how dangerous vampires were. It was how I’d found out about them myself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait - the legends. Leah figuring out the important parts by herself, like I did, wouldn’t break my promise to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And if I convinced her she had to keep it to herself, she wouldn’t be in any more danger than she already was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah, how well do you know your tribe’s legends?” Her brows knitted together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? I know them better than you. I’ve grown up with them. What do they have to do with anything?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, okay, I just had to ask. So, do you remember why everyone at the reservation disliked the Cullens?” My chest flared at their name on my lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, you’re not making any sense.” Leah pressed a hand against my forehead, then gripped my cheek. Her palm was so hot. Like she had been holding fire itself. “I think we should go to the hospital and get you checked out.” Leah shifted as if to get up. I held my hand out to stop her, holding onto her forearm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah, please. Do you remember what Billy would say about the Cullens? It was probably what your dad said too.” Leah rolled her eyes. I only tightened my grip on her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The tribe was convinced the Cullens were the cold ones from the legends. Blood thirsty, dead, super strength.” Then Leah looked at me. “Why is this important?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked back at her with wide eyes, nodding my head slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t honestly mean . . . Bella, you aren’t well. You just went through something traumatic and you’re drunk and . . . you can’t be serious.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I sobered up pretty quickly, Leah,” I said, although my head was still spinning. “I just . . . I can’t tell you what was out in the woods with me, but if you were to guess yourself, then I wouldn’t break any rules or promises. And you already know what it was. You have to feel it in your gut.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, if that was a cold one, that would mean you were dating a cold one. A member of the undead. A literal corpse.” Leah looked like she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, they aren’t really corpses.” Leah brought one of my pillows to her mouth and let out a soft scream. As serious as the situation was, her expression made me giggle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, what the fuck? Is this some sort of joke - you call and set me up so I’ll be really scared. Then you and Jake and all the other res kids can laugh about it later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t confirm or deny whether the cold ones are real, but I can say I wouldn’t mess with you like that.” Leah closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so hypothetically speaking, say the guy holding you in the woods was a cold one. Why did he come after you? Was it just because you were alone?” I was glad Leah seemed willing to play along. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was there for me specifically. Hypothetically speaking of course. He was there because another hypothetical vampire wants me dead.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah gasped. “Is it one of the Cullens?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, no, it’s not. They’re gone for good. It’s a different vampire who has a grudge against the Cullens and wants to get back at them by hurting me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, you have to still be drunk.” Leah gave me an exasperated look. “This sounds like the plot of a bad tv drama. Why would hurting you hurt the Cullens?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because our hypothetical vampire thinks I mean more to the Cullens than I actually do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah leaned back on my bed and stared at me. “So you’re being serious. The legends are true. Cold ones - vampires - are real, and one is out to kill you right now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I traced a circle on my duvet with my finger. “Well, technically two,” I murmured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So how do we keep you safe?” Leah’s eyes were as wide as saucers, reflecting the light from my lamp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can’t. Which is why you need to leave.” I stared toward my window, waiting for a pale hand to reach through and pull apart the curtains. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t be serious. We have to tell Charlie. Get authorities involved. I don’t care what’s after you. I’m not about to leave you to die.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah,” I gripped her hand, “you don’t understand. It’s not something . . . humans are allowed to know about. I can’t tell you the specifics, but there’s basically a vampire police force that works to keep vampires secret. If you go to Charlie, you’re condemning him and then anyone he tells. Not to mention yourself.” Leah frowned, then opened her mouth, ready to argue. “Leah, seriously, it’s not up for debate.” My heart started to beat faster with panic. If Leah refused to keep this knowledge secret, I’d made a very bad mistake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Leah sighed. “No Charlie and no police. I don’t like it, but fine. If you’re really serious about all of this though, and you’re not having some kind of psychotic break, at least let me talk to the tribe's council.” I started to shake my head, but Leah blazed on. “You said yourself, the tribe has legends about these things. Maybe there’s more to the legends. A way to keep you safe, yeah?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I thought it over. Technically, the entire Quileute tribe already had the knowledge about vampires. Including the Cullens. This was taking a leap, a major one that could result in a lot of people dying. At the same time, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t want to die. I’d just come back to life only a few months ago. I was willing to face death to keep those around me safe, but if there was another path, it was worth exploring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, yes. Let’s ask about what they know.” All the tension left Leah’s shoulders and she reached out to hold me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, and she pressed me into her side. My head fit perfectly in the crook of her neck. It was an odd show of affection from Leah but it was comforting. Warm and reassuring. It felt like her muscular arms could keep me safe from anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for finally saying something that makes sense,” she murmured into my hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But we have to phrase it like we’re just asking about the legends, okay? We can’t reveal that there are actual vampires. Not when the council probably thinks they’re just myths,” I said with a stern voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, agreed.” Leah hummed slightly. The vibrations in her chest traveled through my bones. It was a pleasant sensation. If I was bolder, I would have asked her to sing for me. “So what do we do till morning?” she asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to leave. And we’ll both get some sleep, then meet up first thing.” I glanced once more to my window. I wouldn’t be sleeping well tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No chance I’m just going to leave you here alone.” Leah pulled the blanket draped over me onto her own lap. Her legs brushed against mine in a motion that felt entirely purposeful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do realize that if you stay here and they come for me, they’ll kill you too?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Since we were so close, I could feel the shudder travel up her spine, but she snorted as if she was unaffected. “I’d like to see them try.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I nestled under the blanket with her. We both settled further down into the bed, taking one pillow each. Leah smelled like vanilla and cedarwood. Completely intoxicating. I wanted to press my nose to her neck and inhale deeply. But I didn’t. Though I felt that Leah probably wouldn’t mind if I did. Her arms were still wrapped around me. The heat from her body brought on an immediate sweat. Still, I was grateful for it. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve such loyalty from a girl that, up until a few hours ago, I was convinced hated me. Here she was, in my bed, willing to risk her life so I wouldn’t have to face the danger alone. Not only that, but she’d willingly accepted my tales about the cold ones, without any further proof. She’s asked for nothing in return. Jacob and the rest of his friends had severely misjudged Leah. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We left the light in my room on. We were both terrified of the night, though Leah wouldn’t admit it. She managed to fall asleep within the hour. Her warm, steady breath fell on my cheek. Sleep evaded me, as I knew it would. So I stared at her face and memorized its lines. Blood-thirsty vampires were after me, yet I lost myself cataloguing every detail of her face. In sleep, she was peaceful. There was no sign of her usual scowl. I noted a light scar along her left cheek and the way her right brow arched higher than her left. The pores on her nose were visible. Her lips were a little too thin for her face. She wasn’t perfect. But somehow that made her more appealing. She rolled over, removing her arms from around me. Her hand then rested in the space between our two pillows. Slowly, carefully, I inched my face forward and brought my lips to her palm, pressing a soft kiss against it. Her skin was so soft, like satin. Leah murmured in her sleep. A soft, velvety sound. I leaned back and resumed my watch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every time I closed my eyes to try to find sleep, I could hear low growls and the sounds of large feet padding below my window. It was all in my mind, I was sure, but it seemed my nightmares had walked into reality in every way possible. There would be no waking up from this one, and there was no one to protect me. I had been left alone to face two inhumanly powerful supernatural beings. Well, perhaps not entirely alone. I had Leah. I knew I was endangering her by allowing her to help me. Still, I couldn’t force her away.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I woke up to a loud bang. With a throbbing head and bleary eyes, I kicked my legs to push myself up against the headboard of my bed, but I wasn’t able to move. Leah’s legs were tangled with my own and her arm was wrapped around my stomach, pinning me down. My heart raced and my mouth felt like cotton. I had fallen asleep and now Victoria was here to finish what Laurent had started last night. I was going to be murdered while hungover. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Bells,” Charlie’s gruff voice came from the doorway. I slumped with relief. Not a vampire. “I didn’t hear you come in last night. Must’ve been out late.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah started to shift next to me, giving me room to sit up. My head spun, but I managed a small smile for Charlie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Dad. Leah came to the party too, and we hung out for a while after leaving Austin’s. She actually drove me home, so we’ll go pick up my truck today.” Leah groaned into her pillow beside me, drawing Charlie’s attention to her presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, um, hi there, Leah.” Charlie rubbed his hand over his hair and shuffled his feet. “Didn’t see you there. Um, well, I’ll just leave you two girls to it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie started to close my door behind him. “Dad, wait. When you go out into the woods searching for those missing hikers, you all stay together as a group right? You don’t go off by yourself?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie cocked his head to the side. “You don’t need to worry about me, Bells. I’m armed and dangerous.” He gave me a playful wink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I threw my head back in frustration. A gun wouldn’t help him with what’s actually out there. “Dad, just answer the question. It’d make me feel better.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie ran his tongue over his teeth. “Yeah, we stay in groups. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll see you later tonight, honey.” He was almost gone but turned back suddenly.  “Er, nice seeing you, Leah.” Leah raised her hand and waved in his general direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked down at her. Her hair looked like a rat’s nest, knotted all along her temple. A bit of dried drool was crusted on the side of her mouth. I smirked. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were the hungover one,” I joked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” Leah moaned. “Last time I checked, I went to bed last night convinced I was going to be slaughtered by some crazed monsters. Monsters straight out of the legends that used to give me nightmares as a kid. Excuse me if I didn’t get the best sleep.” She cracked an eye open to look at me. “You don’t look too hot yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead of being self-conscious, as I would’ve if anyone else had thrown such an insult, I just stuck out my tongue. “Well, it looks like we miraculously survived.” I swept my hand out in front of me like a game show host, motioning to the vampire-free bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably cause I scared them off. No one wants to mess with me. Not even cold ones. Or vampires. Or whatever.” She rolled on her back and stretched. Her shoulder bumped into me, bringing sparks to fruition where our skin met. I bit my lip and got out of bed, rolling my shoulders. My head really did hurt. And all of my muscles felt sore. I’d need to find the bottle of tylenol in the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready to go talk to the council?” I asked. Leah flung an arm over her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we at least have breakfast first? I’m starving.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Er, we can take some poptarts for the drive.” Leah pulled her face back into view and scowled. “Unless you wanna stay here. We can make a nice big breakfast. And maybe season ourselves up too for the vampires that show up.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to be a smart ass,” Leah grumbled. But she pulled herself out of bed. “I’m not much of a morning person. Really wish the vampires could schedule their hunt for a later time.” She picked her sweater up off the floor and pulled it on. Then she slid on her slippers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You and me both. I’m gonna go grab some tylenol. You want one?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bring me two please.” Leah gave me a thankful smile, smoothing out her hair and wiping at her face. When I returned, two tylenol in hand along with a cup of water, Leah palmed the pills and swallowed them dry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Had to show off, huh?” I asked, rolling my eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Figured you could use the water more.” I hated that she was right. My entire body felt sluggish, like a dried out husk. So, with a withering look, I gulped down the entire glass. Leah chuckled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I got dressed quickly, settling on jeans and a t-shirt. Leah and I rushed downstairs to her car. Good to my word, I grabbed a packet of poptarts for us to share. Leah munched on her share in the driver’s seat and managed to insult my favorite flavor, strawberry, only twice. My eyes constantly scanned the trees along the road, waiting to see a flash of pale white limbs or fiery red curls. It wouldn’t take much for two vampires to stop a moving car. All I saw was a glimpse of brown fur. Probably just a deer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah and I spent the ride talking through our plan to get the elders together and what we’d ask. I was nervous. It felt like I was broadcasting </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>secret to the entire world. Another reason why I’d never deserved him in the first place. Although, if he hadn’t left, I wouldn’t be facing two vampires on my own. Afterall, like he’d pointed out, I was just a weak, worthless human. I didn’t stand a chance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I suggested we start with Leah’s own father. But Leah explained that since Billy was the chief of the tribe council, we’d be better served going right to him. He could call together the rest of the council. That is, if he wanted to help with our questions about the tribe’s legends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When we pulled up outside Jacob’s house, my stomach turned with nausea. For the first time, I hoped Jacob wasn’t home. I couldn’t imagine facing him now on top of everything else. I needed to focus on the threat of Laurent and Victoria. And bringing him back into my life would only harm him in the long run. I was already putting Leah at risk. That was enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I followed Leah up to the door. She gave me a smirk, noting how tightly I had my arms wound around my chest. “If Jacob’s here, he’s probably going to ignore you. Just focus on what’s important, okay?” She reassured me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, and I know I should focus on the vampires wanting to kill me. But I’m nervous anyway.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could I forget - you’re Bella Swan. Of course, boy troubles would outrank your impending murder,” Leah snorted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I reached my hand out and shoved her. She didn’t even stumble. She flipped her middle finger at me. I was tempted to throw myself at her, but we were already on the porch. Leah waggled her eyebrows as if to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>to be finished later</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knocked on the door. We listened as footsteps, not wheels, approached. It felt like my heart was going to fall through my body, straight past the aching wound taking up my center. Without thought, I reached out and grabbed Leah’s hand. To my surprise, she gripped me back, giving me a tight squeeze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob pulled open the door, a deep frown on his face. The breath whooshed from my body. He was Jacob but he wasn’t my Jacob. His hair was cut short. The long, wavy curtain I was used to was entirely gone. He seemed even taller, requiring me to crane my head past the point of comfort to see his face. The lines of his body were harsher as well. His shirtless chest showed that well enough. All the soft edges that had laid on top of his muscles were gone. But the biggest change was in his eyes. They were so dark and weary, holding none of the usual sunshine I craved. Those eyes refused to meet my stare, turning to Leah instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want, Leah . . . Bella?” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Jake,” Leah crooned, not taken aback by Jacob’s appearance, “we’re here for Billy. Mind letting us in to see him?” </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want with Billy?” He leaned against the door frame. My gaze was so intense it had to feel like a burn, but he resolutely kept his eyes on Leah. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s for us to tell Billy,” Leah responded, all sweetness sucked from her voice. “Go get him, Jake.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Jacob spat, stepping back into the house. He motioned for Leah and I to follow. My shoulders hunched up to my ears with discomfort. Leah, unaffected, sauntered inside. Jacob started to walk down the hallway, presumably to get Billy. He looked back over his shoulder before he rounded the corner. At last, those stormy eyes met mine. He froze in place, then slowly sank down to his knees. For some reason, I couldn’t move either. I could only watch as tears started to flow down Jacob’s cheeks. If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn his pupils pulsed along to the beat of my own heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob’s arms reached out toward me. “Bella,” he murmured. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the long wait on this chapter! Sometimes grad school is hard. :) Thank you to everyone who has been reading this fic and leaving kudos and comments. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Um, what is happening? Is he always this weird?” Leah asked. I shrugged my shoulders, unsure myself. Jacob, the same one who’d been ignoring me for weeks, was now kneeling on the floor. Staring at me like I was his first sign of water after months in the Sahara. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob, are you okay?” I slowly walked over to him. When I was within reach, Jacob wrapped his arms around my thighs pulling me to him. He buried his face into my hip. I could feel the dampness of his tears through my jeans. My fingers tangled in what was left of his hair. I looked back at Leah with panic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, I’m so sorry. For pushing you away. I shouldn’t have. I really thought I was doing what was best for you, but obviously I was wrong. We’re made for each other.” Jacob’s tear-stained face turned up, his bright white teeth now visible in a broad smile. I pulled on his arms. He took the hint, rising to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand what’s going on,” I said. When he’d opened the door, Jacob had been impossibly cold, refusing to even meet my gaze. Now he was professing that we were made for each other. It didn’t make sense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I don’t know what all of </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>is,” Leah motioned at Jacob, “but we need to talk to Billy. You know, Bella, about important things.” Leah glared at Jacob for a moment then stalked off down the hallway. I listened as she called out Billy’s name and knocked on a door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella,” Jacob enthused. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him. He pressed his cheek against the top of my head. “Things finally feel right.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stepped back. The headache from my hangover was still pounding through my brain. All I wanted to do was sleep or throw up. Instead, I had to fight two vampires and deal with a mentally unstable Jacob Black. Jacob kept his arms around me but gave me the distance I needed. “Jacob, you’ve ignored me for weeks. You said you couldn’t talk to me anymore because I wasn’t good for you. What changed?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything,” Jacob breathed. He pressed his hands on either side of my face, brushing my hair back. His stare was so intense, I wished I could somehow shrink inside myself. “I’ll explain. Later.” He smirked as his eyes lit up even brighter. “You won’t even be shocked since you already know it all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What won’t be a shock, Jacob?” Ice gripped my heart. He was acting bizarre. This was a totally new form of Jacob I hadn’t met. There was my Jacob. There was Sam’s Jacob, the one who was distant and mean. And then there was whoever was in front of me now. I still wasn’t sure which of the three had destroyed his kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see. I just need to tell the rest of the pack and then we can talk.” He pressed a burning hot kiss to my forehead. In an instant, his grip on me was gone, and he sprinted out the door. I was left to stand shellshocked in the kitchen. The pack? Was that what Sam called his cult? Fear, not completely unlike what I’d felt last night, flushed through me. I could’ve walked from one danger right into another. Thankfully, Leah appeared back down the hallway with Billy rolling after her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did Jacob go?” Leah asked, visibly grinding her teeth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know?” My answer came out as a question. “He said something about talking to a pack.” Billy’s brows furrowed at that. The word pack had a meaning to him that I didn’t yet understand. Billy trained his eyes on me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah says you have some questions about our old legends on the cold ones, Bella.” I pursed my lips. This was a tightrope balance. Billy was already aware that I knew what the Cullens were. He’d made that clear enough last year. But neither of us had openly talked about vampires. Up until now, it’d all been a mind game. I couldn’t afford to leave it as such any longer. I needed to know if the tribe had any defenses against vampires. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I forced a smile. Leah, despite still looking annoyed, grinned at my obvious discomfort. I could tell she was laughing on the inside. “Yes, I do. I’ve been doing some research into, er, old myths on vampires, and I figured there was no better source on Quileute legends than the tribal elders. I was hoping you’d call the rest of the council together.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Billy rolled further into the kitchen, and much like my last visit, began making tea. “Bella, I’m afraid I can’t call the entire council together for a teenager’s personal research, but I’d be happy to talk with you. As the chief of the council, I’d like to think I know a great deal of our histories.” Billy looked over his shoulder and winked, giving me a warm smile. Yet, his darkened eyes betrayed that his mind was elsewhere, likely on Jacob and his pack. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Billy signaled for Leah and I to sit at the kitchen table. When we did, he handed us each a large cup of tea. Mint, same as before. I made eye contact with Leah over the rim of my mug as I raised it to my lips. For the first time, she looked unsure of herself. Her confidence when it came to vampires only went so far it seemed. I opened my mouth to ask the first question, unsure of where I’d actually start. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as words began to form on my tongue, Jacob busted back through the door. His brow and chest gleamed with sweat, and his shorts were significantly more wrinkled than when he’d left. A sparkle still danced in his eyes, but a frown pulled the corners of his mouth down when he saw Billy, Leah, and I seated altogether around the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad, what’s going on?” Jacob asked Billy, his gaze flickering between Leah and I. He came to stand behind Billy. Leah’s hand reached out and gripped my knee under the table. Her nails dug into my skin, too harsh to only be a gesture of affection. It felt like a warning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Billy opened his palms out toward me. “Bella had some questions about our legends on cold ones. I have some answers. It was Leah’s idea to come to me; she was kind enough to bring Bella.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob snorted. “Dad, we can tell Bella everything. Sam gave the okay. She’s . . . one of us.” Billy’s head tilted with question. Jacob gave one curt nod. Billy broke into the biggest smile I’d ever seen on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you take Bella for a walk, Jake?” Billy suggested, reaching over and giving me a pat on the back of my hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked from Jacob to Leah, who was now scowling. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but Leah was in as much danger as I was. Laurent had seen her and had her scent. Whatever Jacob could tell me, Leah needed to know too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going anywhere without Leah,” I told Billy and Jacob. Leah’s hand, still on my knee, loosed its grip. Jacob bit his lip, and Billy’s smile dimmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“These aren’t stories for Leah to know, Bella.” Billy gave me a hard look. Leah opened her mouth, ready to object. I beat her to it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah knows everything I know, Billy.” I narrowed my eyes, hoping he got my intended meaning. “In fact, she’s had a hands-on role in my . . . research. So anything you have to say about the cold ones, Leah needs to hear it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, cut the cryptic crap,” Leah cut in. “We’re clearly all talking about the same thing. Cold ones, vampires, whatever. You clearly both know about them. Let’s just put all the cards on the table. Bella is in danger. I guess I am now, too.” Leah frowned then crossed her arms over her chest. “We came because we know the council has answers. So let’s hear it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob’s jaw dropped and Billy’s eyes went wide. My own heart fell into my stomach. So much for not revealing that we knew real vampires existed. Leah had thrown that out the window. Billy placed his elbows on the table. “What sort of danger are you in, Bella? Is it the Cullens? Are they back?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I scoffed. Of course he would immediately think of the Cullens as the resident danger. “No, it’s not the Cullens. The Cullens will never be dangerous to anyone, and you know it.” Jacob bared his teeth. For only a moment, he looked rabid. Billy patted his arm softly, and Jacob’s face calmed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Cullens can be dangerous if the right circumstances arise,” Billy murmured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah rolled her eyes. “We get it, Billy, you don’t like the Cullens. We don’t know anything about them.” I was grateful that Leah had taken charge because my mind was putty with anxiety. I couldn’t believe Leah had admitted I knew about vampires. In the past two days, who knew how many ways I’d let down the memory of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “What I do know is that Bella was almost killed by a vampire last night, and we need any information you have that could protect her because he’ll be back - with friends.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. “Bella told you all of this?” he asked Leah. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She didn’t have to, smartass. I saw it with my own eyes. If I hadn’t been there, Bella would’ve died.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob puffed out his chest. “Oh please. That leech didn’t run off because of you. He would’ve been more than happy to eat you too. He ran because we showed up. We weren’t able to get a good look at what the bloodsucker looked like, thanks to you. Thankfully, we at least got his scent.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who is ‘we’?” I asked. This had to be the pack Jacob spoke about. Which could or could not be Sam’s cult. My mind reeled at the word games we were all playing with each other. Had Jacob been there last night? If he had, how had I not seen him. And how would Jacob have been able to chase a vampire away? I willed my hangover to go away. It was only muddling my thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, remember when we met?” Jacob asked. “It was on the beach in La Push.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I remember, Jake.” I flushed and felt too aware of Billy’s presence. I’d attempted to be flirtatious to trick Jacob into telling me his tribe’s legends. “You told me the old legends. Which is why we’re here.” I motioned to Leah and I. Jacob was acting so strangely, and Billy seemed like nothing was out of the ordinary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You remember the stories? About the cold ones.” I nodded my head. Leah looked like she wanted to leap at Jacob across the table. She had little patience for this.  “And the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf. Our wolf. The wolves that turn into men. Well, you know the cold ones aren’t really just legends.” Jacob looked toward the floor and brushed a hand over his shorn hair. “So - neither are the wolves.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah laughed beside me but I just stared. The paw prints Charlie had found at the sites of all the missing hikers. Those tracks could have been following after Laurent and Victoria, who I knew deep in my gut had been killing those hikers. Laurent’s clothes had been testament enough to that. The growls I’d heard in the woods behind Laurent. Jacob’s disappearance for all these weeks. The pieces of the puzzle slowly came together. I could almost hear them clicking in my brain. It all led to one result.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Werewolf,” I whispered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Jacob whispered back. His eyes bore into my own, searching for my emotions. I couldn’t be sure what he found. Jacob was a werewolf. My Jacob. My sunshine. The person who’d pulled me back to myself. A werewolf. Was everyone I loved a monster deep down? I couldn’t shake the image of the destroyed kitchen I’d seen weeks ago. The boy smiling at me now had done that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t be serious,” Leah guffawed. “You’re telling me werewolves are real too? What’s next, the tooth fairy? Santa Clause?” She looked at me as if waiting for me to laugh too. When I didn’t, her lips pulled into a deep frown. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can see why we didn’t want Leah here for this, Bella,” Billy murmured. He cut her a hard glance, but Leah only curled her lip in response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I tried to return the focus to the important issue. “Are you both - are you both werewolves?” I asked Jacob and Billy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob, his muscles now relaxed, poured himself a cup of tea from the kettle Billy had just heated. I’d forgotten about my own. I took a shaky sip from my mug, letting the mint flavor ground me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Bells, just me,” Jacob said, taking a seat at the fourth chair circled around the table. “Dad was lucky enough for it to skip a generation.” He clapped Billy on the back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How?” Leah asked. “How am I supposed to believe you’re a werewolf - that there are others on this reservation who are werewolves - when I’ve never seen a hint that the legends were real.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unlike you, Leah, we know how to keep our mouths shut.” Jacob smirked. The tension in the room palpably increased. Thankfully, Billy interceded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah, if you’re willing to believe vampires are real, why is it so hard to accept our legends about the wolves? How is one more far fetched than the other? Listen to your gut. It’ll tell you what you refuse to consciously acknowledge.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah stared down into her tea. She tapped a foot on the floor. I had the urge to hug her as a form of comfort but restrained myself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. The werewolves are real. Why aren’t I one?” Leah asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob and Billy’s eyes met. Another silent conversation. “Only the men of the tribe can be wolves,” Billy said somberly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of fucking course.” Leah rolled her eyes. “I guess that’s why these stories weren’t for me, huh.” Leah spat Billy’s own words back at him. I waited for her to point out that they’d decided I could learn the truth even though she couldn’t. She hated any time I got what she considered special treatment. But the words didn’t come. Instead, her hand was on my knee again. This time, her fingers shook with anger. She blazed hot as a fire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah, no one outside of the pack knows the truth. It has nothing to do with how deserving you are.” Billy tried to placate Leah. That made no sense since they’d been okay telling me the truth, and I wasn’t part of the pack. But I couldn’t understand why Billy would so blatantly lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jacob, if you’re a werewolf, how does that keep Leah and I safe?” I asked, trying to turn Leah’s attention away from Billy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, honey,” Jacob said. The term of endearment made my skin prickle. “You remember the legends. We only exist to protect the tribe from one thing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Vampires.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bells. As long as the pack is here, you - and Leah -,” he growled her name, “will be safe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So when Leah picked me up last night, and I heard the growls in the woods, that was you?” I questioned him. I had thought the sound was in my head - a figment of my imagination. A final conjuring of Edward to defend me. Guess my imagination wasn’t actually that creative.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Jacob narrowed his eyes at Leah. “If she hadn’t shown up we would’ve gotten that leech and we wouldn’t have this problem.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah’s nails dug into my thigh hard enough that I gasped. I swatted her hand off me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The leech’s name is Laurent.” I said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Laurent?” Jacob asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know - the vampire in the woods. You just said you were there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s his name?” Jacob’s face grew tight. “We would’ve had him, this Laurent. But Leah showing up startled us, and he managed to slip away.” Jacob sneered at Leah. She flipped a middle finger up in return. Billy only shook his head at the show of hostility.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you two cut it out?” I snapped. Leah rolled her eyes, but Jacob immediately straightened in his chair. He gave me a soft smile and then turned the same to Leah. I feared she might snap his head off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shot Leah a glare. I couldn’t worry about whatever was going on between her and Jacob. We had bigger problems. My stomach roiled with nausea at the confirmation that Laurent was still out there looking for me. Still, this wasn’t new knowledge. At least now I could coordinate with the wolves to keep Leah and Charlie safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about Victoria? Have you been able to track her down?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that the leech’s mate? Red hair?” Jacob asked. So they had seen her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that’s her. But that’s not Laurent’s mate. They’re . . . friends.” I put my head into my hands and moaned. Laurent was scary, but Victoria was even worse. And she’d been close enough for the pack to have seen her hair. Laurent would kill me but it’d be quick. Hopefully painless. Victoria would draw out the affair, like James. I still wasn’t fully over the trauma my body had endured in that ballet studio. I didn’t want to go through that again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, are you okay?” I listened to a chair slide against linoleum. Then the scent of evergreen and rain enveloped me as Jacob knelt beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, marveling at the intense heat of his exposed chest. Leah wrapped a hand around my arm, pulling me back toward her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course she’s not okay, asshole. She’s scared because bloodthirsty monsters want to kill her and she just found out one of her best friends - or should I say ex-best friend - is a werewolf,” she snarled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, right,” Jacob murmured, no hint of hostility in his voice, only guilt. He kept a grip on my shoulders and now rubbed his palms against them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Billy, who’d watched us across the table, finally spoke up. “How do you know the female isn’t this . . . Laurent’s mate?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Laurent told me James, this - er - other vampire was her mate. Edward,” the name burned like fire coming up my throat, “killed James. She’s angry and wants revenge. She wants me dead. A mate for a mate.” I laughed. “Guess she didn’t get the memo that he left me behind.” I tucked my arms around my chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All three of the others surrounding the table let out noises of disgust.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So both of these vampires, they want you?” Jacob growled. I nodded my head in affirmation. I felt hollowed out and so very tired. I could have fallen asleep with my head on Jacob’s slightly sticky table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And they’ll want Leah too,” I managed to get out. “Laurent knows she saw him run off. He’ll want to cover his tracks. And he now knows she’s important to me. He’ll use her to get to me. I’m surprised we’re still alive. And Charlie,” I held a hand to my mouth with horror, “he won’t be safe either.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t come for you last night because the pack was watching your house. We followed you home. And Charlie’s safe. We’re looking out for him too. Give me a second, I gotta call a meeting now that we know what these leeches are after.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob jumped up, sharing a look with Billy. Then he ran back out the front door, unbuttoning his pants as he went. I wasn’t sure how he could call his pack from outside when the phone was right here. Leah furrowed her brow, looking as confused as I felt. Billy took our mugs and rolled over to the sink to rinse them out. Leah’s hand migrated to my own, fingers entwining with mine. Her touch carried safety and surety. My mind still couldn’t grasp that Jacob - my childhood friend Jacob - my best friend Jacob - was a werewolf. A werewolf strong enough to hunt down vampires. And his whole pack and the tribal council were aware that vampires were real. It was too much to process. I couldn’t believe Leah was willing to face it with me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Billy turned back to Leah and I. “The two of you understand that what you’ve learned here must remain a secret. For the safety of everyone in the pack.” Leah didn’t give a retort. We both gravely nodded our heads. We’d been entrusted with something of great importance to the entire tribe. I, as an outsider, was not deserving in the least of their protection, but I was grateful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob ran back inside, breathless. A wide smile broke across his face. He held a hand out to me. “Come on, Bells. I want you to meet the rest of the pack.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Of course Leah refused to be left behind. Jacob tried to tell her to go home, but I was pleased when he finally relented and allowed her to stay with me. He knew I wouldn’t go with him any other way. Leah’s face fell when she learned we’d be going to Emily Young’s, her cousin’s. She was even more crestfallen when she realized Sam would be there. He was the leader of this pack after all. I stayed close to her on our walk to Emily’s, letting my shoulder brush hers every few steps. I hoped my closeness gave her strength the way hers had for me last night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob hovered next to me, closer than my shadow. He wrapped a firm hand around my own, the way we used to walk before he had disappeared for weeks. His hand was so large, it entirely engulfed me. And it was hot. My palm immediately beaded with sweat. I didn’t pull away, as this was the touch I’d been desperate for for weeks, but I noticed Leah’s glare at the point of contact. For some reason, her scrutiny made me self conscious. I hadn’t fully forgiven Jacob for his weeks-long disappearance or for the cruel things he’d said. But he’d done both to keep me safe. I couldn’t fault him for that, even if it had hurt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As we walked, I pestered Jacob with questions about being a werewolf while Leah scowled at all of his answers. He explained how the pack heard each other’s thoughts when they were in their wolf form. That’s where he had kept running off to when we’d talked with Billy - to tell the rest of the pack what was happening. He told us that the pack was growing because of the vampires running around. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt - I was responsible for the current influx in the vampire population.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The three of us eventually approached a tiny house. It was secluded, with trees cutting it off from any neighbors. There was only one narrow window beside a weathered blue door, and the window box under it was filled with bright orange and yellow marigolds. The front porch’s railings and stairs were in disrepair, but the plants draped on every surface breathed life back into the place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A group of men with deep russet skin ran out the door to meet us. They looked related - all insanely muscled and tall. All with short black hair. All wearing nothing but cutoff shorts. I recognized Embry among them. He gave me a shy wave from his place in the back of the group. I raised my hand in greeting but was distracted by the sight of Sam. He was markedly older than the others. His face was worn, and his eyes weary. He stood at the center of the four men. The other three fell into a triangle formation behind him. Sam’s face made me feel like I was back on that forest floor, cold and alone. I gripped my abdomen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam barely glanced at me. His eyes zeroed in on Leah beside me. He looked guilty. Like a kid caught sneaking cookies before dinner. Except he’d left Leah for her cousin. A much worse offense. His face of guilt quickly melted into one of concern. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What have you done, Jacob?” he demanded. “I agreed to you telling Bella, but I didn’t say anything about Leah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “You also didn’t say anything about </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>telling Leah.” I looked up at him with narrowed eyes. He wasn’t helping ease the tension by being flippant. Sam needed to hear the whole story about Leah being in danger too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One of the others, who I didn’t recognize, pushed past Sam and spoke before I could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell, Jake?” he shouted. “First you gotta imprint on the vampire girl and now you tell Leah fucking Clearwater everything?” Imprint? What did that mean? And why was he so angry about Leah? I understood that she hadn’t made an effort to be friendly since Sam ended things, but this was intense. Perhaps aggression was part of being a werewolf. The image of Jacob’s destroyed kitchen once again came to mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah needs to be here, Paul. Let me explain,” Jacob growled, his voice a deep, inhuman rumble. The hair on the back of my arms stood on end, and I shifted closer to Leah.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Needs to be here? She hates all of us, why would she need to be here?” Paul spat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah stepped forward from beside me. “Quit talking about me like I’m not here. I’m in as much danger as any of you. And I . . . need your help.” The words sounded like they hurt her to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s just here to make our lives miserable. Jacob couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut.” Paul’s entire form was shaking. Sam put a hand on his shoulder, but Paul shrugged it off. He took measured paces toward us. Without thinking, I grabbed Leah and pulled her behind me. I was the one who had dragged her into this mess. I wasn’t going to let her get hurt because of me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Paul snarled, causing Jacob to step in front of me, forming a chain of protection. Paul didn’t like that. His body began shaking so hard it seemed to blur in and out of reality. He lurched forward, hands outstretched to catch himself. I gasped, staring uselessly and hoping Paul wouldn’t hurt himself. But before he could touch the ground, a loud ripping sound filled the air and Paul exploded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He actually exploded. From within his skin, a giant, silver wolf appeared. Somehow, Paul’s body had housed an animal five-times his size. It defied all logic. Something like that shouldn’t be possible. Paul, or rather his wolf form, flashed its teeth. His dark eyes focused on Jacob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob pushed me and Leah back, giving himself room. In seconds, Jacob was running directly toward the wolf. “Jacob!” I screamed. I started to run after him, but Leah pulled me back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella, Jacob will be fine,” she whispered into my ear. Her breath tickled my skin, hot on my neck. “He’s a wolf too.” Her arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, and her muscles were tense, ready to pick me up and run if needed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob sprinted two more paces, now only feet away from the silver wolf. Then, mid-stride, Jacob fell apart with a loud crack, and in his place, a large reddish-brown wolf careened into the side of the silver wolf. Caught off balance, it fell on its side with a resounding thud. But the silver wolf was able to get its muzzle under the red wolf and I watched as impossibly sharp teeth flashed and the red wolf’s flank was torn open with a wet squelch. I screamed and clawed at Leah’s arms, but she held me tight. Bright red blood gushed from the red wolf - Jacob’s wolf. It whined in pain then lashed out at the silver wolf with nails like knives. Somehow, the silver wolf danced away unharmed. It twisted around the red wolf and started barreling toward Leah and I. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah tried to pull me back toward the road, but I couldn’t turn my face away from the charging wolf. My feet were too clumsy to be of much use. Leah’s arms yanked at my waist and then I was hoisted over her shoulder. I bounced against her back. I’d have been ashamed of my helplessness if I wasn’t so scared. Leah moved with a speed only pure adrenaline could provide, but she still wasn’t faster than the wolf. I watched as its maw loomed closer and closer to my face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But before it could breach the final foot to Leah and I, the red wolf leapt on top of it, using its teeth to yank it back toward the trees beyond the house. The red wolf, nipping and clawing, forced the silver wolf into the forest and out of sight. I pulled on the back of Leah’s shirt to get her to stop running. It took several paces for her to realize what was happening. She slowed, but her grip on me didn’t loosen, even after she sat me back down on my feet. We both turned back to the three men left standing in front of the small house. I noticed a tiny, raven-haired woman had joined them, leaning against the frame of the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam, Embry, and the one I didn’t know were all chuckling. Embry, noticing our stares, motioned for Leah and I to join them. Leah glared at the trees where the two wolves had disappeared before grabbing me by the hand and stomping toward the men. Without hesitation, she marched up to Sam.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for such an unpleasant welcome, ladies,” Sam said to both of us, despite his eyes staying trained only on Leah. Leah snorted. Then she slapped him so hard his head snapped to the side. Embry’s smile faded, but the pack member who I didn’t know gave a deep belly laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Leah shoved a pointed, shaky finger into his chest. “How </span><em><span>dare</span></em><span> you stand here and laugh with your weird little wolf pack after one of them</span> <span>came for Bella.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well technically,” the unknown pack member spoke up, “he was going for you, Leah. Bella just got in the way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t give a damn, Jared,” Leah raged. She turned her attention back to Sam. “If you can’t control your dogs, perhaps you should leash them.” Despite being easily a foot shorter than Sam, she was somehow right in his face. “If you allow Bella to be at risk </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>again, I will end you.” Anyone else uttering such a threat to a known werewolf would have seemed silly. But Leah’s tone carried so much ice, I shivered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam stepped back from her and held up his palms in a show of surrender. “Bella was never in danger. Jacob would have never let someone else harm his - harm Bella.” Leah took a measured step forward, causing him to back up further. “But I’ll get Paul under control. That won’t happen again.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah smirked. “Good.” She turned her attention back to me. “Bella, since Jacob bailed on making introductions, and Sam is incapable, allow me. You obviously already know this asshole is Sam.” She hitched a thumb at Sam over her shoulder. “And I know you met Embry. And that there is Jared.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shyly waved at Sam and Jared. I was so uncomfortable I wished the earth would swallow me whole. Or at least I longed to cower behind Leah, who didn’t seem the least bit phased. I couldn’t believe I’d just witnessed Jacob - wolf Jacob - get ripped open by another giant wolf-boy. My best friend was somewhere out in the woods getting mauled by a wolf. Or perhaps he was the wolf doing the mauling. Everyone else, including Leah - who’d just found out about vampires less than twelve hours ago - was treating the wolf fight like it was a typical occurrence. And I couldn’t shake how Paul had called me an imprint. I needed to know what that word meant. Deep in my bones, I could feel its importance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh and that there,” Leah gestured toward the porch, “is my lovely, boyfriend-stealing cousin, Emily.” She grabbed me by the hand again and led me up the porch steps toward Emily. I looked back to Embry, trying to plead for intervention with my eyes. He just shrugged and grimaced. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, Em? Long time no see.” Leah said with careful casualness. “You haven’t stopped by the house recently.” To my surprise, Leah folded Emily into a hug and Emily didn’t look unhappy to be there. A smile lifted the left side of her face while she looked at me with soft brown eyes over Leah’s shoulder. She would look just like Leah except for the angry red lines scaring the right side of her beautiful face from hairline to chin. The right side of her lips was twisted into a permanent grimace. I tried not to fixate on the scar, but it was hard since it was so prominent. I wished Jacob or Leah had warned me. I gave her a nervous smile, hoping I wasn’t being rude.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s good to see you, Leah. I’ve missed you,” Emily replied. The bravado seemed to leave Leah’s body as she sank further into Emily’s arms. “We’ll have to talk later . . . in private.” Emily frowned when she stepped away from Leah to approach me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must be Bella.” She held out a hand for me to shake. Her skin was warm and smooth. I noted that the red slashes of her scar continued down her right arm. “It’s so nice to meet you. Jacob talks about you non-stop.” She gave me a shy smile. I looked at Leah who merely nodded her head at Emily as if to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>go on</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I was wading into dangerous territory. I needed to be nice to Emily but not so nice that I upset Leah. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you too, Emily.” I pulled my hand back to my side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you two girls come inside while we wait for Jacob and Paul to finish up their little tiff. I’m sure this has been such a shock to you both. Are you hungry at all? I made some muffins. Gluten free of course, for Jared.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah rolled her eyes, but ushered me inside the house after Emily. The entry way led into a small kitchen and dining area, much like Jacob’s house. Except this room was a beautiful rainbow of colors. Sage green cabinets, canary yellow cushions on the dining chairs, lilac purple curtains strung along the window. It was entirely overwhelming; I didn’t know where to look first. While the wood floors were scuffed and some of the pale green wall paint was chipped, the place was clean and tidy. This was Emily’s domain. It carried the same effortless cheerfulness as her personality. If it wasn’t for Leah, it would be easy to like Emily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah snagged a muffin off the counter and moaned after a bite. “I forgot how good a cook you are, Em.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A compliment? From Leah Clearwater?” Emily giggled. Her eyes were wide though, fixed on Leah, waiting to see if her effort at camaraderie would be rewarded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably the last one for a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily smiled then cleared her throat. “You’re taking this all surprisingly well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I found out vampires are real last night. Why not werewolves too?” Leah snorted. “I’m half convinced I’m dreaming and am gonna wake up in my bed any minute.” I understood that. My entire time in Forks felt like a dream, like I might wake up back in Phoenix tomorrow morning to discover there were no vampires or werewolves. No Angela or Jessica, no Jacob or Leah, and certainly no </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I felt that way at first too,” Emily murmured. “Knowing the truth makes the world that much scarier. But it gets easier. With time.” She glanced down at the scar along her arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that moment, Jared and Embry swung through the open front door. Both boys immediately went to the food. “Aw, Em, you’re making this whole werewolf thing sound super lame,” Jared groaned, before he shoved a whole muffin into his mouth. “Trust me, Bella, it rocks. We’re much cooler than those leeches you used to hang around with.” I crossed my arms around my stomach out of awkwardness. Embry elbowed Jared in the side. “Hey, man, she deserves the truth about her preferences in supernatural creatures. We’ve got the super speed and strength, just like them, but we get to turn into wolves. And we don’t have to kill anybody to do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Cullens didn’t kill anybody either,” I mumbled, feeling defensive about my former family. The name didn’t sting in my chest nearly as bad as it had the last time I’d had to choke it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Embry and Jared exchanged a glance. “I’m sure that’s what they told you, Bella,” Jared said, “but no vampires are perfect.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlisle was.” Stupid. Why was I doing this? The Cullens hadn’t cared about me enough to even say goodbye and here I was arguing on their behalf months later. Leah quirked an eyebrow at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which one was Carlisle again?” Embry asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As if you don’t know,” Emily responded in my stead. “He was the doctor. You know I worked with him at the hospital. I’ve heard you use his name plenty before, Embry.” Embry flushed and shuffled his feet, clearly embarrassed at being called out. I remembered then a time when Jacob had told me that Emily was a nurse. I hadn’t connected the dots to mean that she knew Carlisle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I moved through the kitchen to press myself against Leah’s side. She was comfortably warm, putting me at ease. I was glad to have her there. I was shaken, I couldn’t imagine how overwhelming this had to be for her. She’d seen a vampire last night, and a werewolf today. And now she was being forced to interact with her ex-boyfriend and the cousin he left her for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob and Paul busted into the house then, shoving each other and laughing. Sam followed close behind, grinning. Jacob immediately peeled away from Paul and came to me, pulling me into his arms and away from Leah. If Leah had been warm, Jacob was blistering hot. I was uncomfortably aware that my face was being smushed into his bare chest. As if sensing my discomfort, Jacob stepped back abruptly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How’re you holding up, Bells?” He asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me? How’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I’m not the one who got torn apart by a werewolf fifteen minutes ago.” I stared at his side, expecting to see blood leaking from shredded flesh. Instead, there was only a pale pink scar. I gasped and stared up at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a werewolf thing, you’ll get used to it.” Leah scoffed. I narrowed my eyes at her. I couldn’t understand why she was being so antagonistic toward Jacob. Sure, we’d just found out he was a werewolf, but he also wanted to protect the both of us. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enough with the niceties,” Sam cut in. “Now that we know what the vampires want, we need to make a plan. One that accounts for both Bella and Leah. Leah is a part of this too now.” He sat at the table, his wooden chair’s legs creaking under the weight of him. He pulled Emily into his lap absentmindedly, making clear that physical contact between the pair was routine. The hole in my chest roared for the first time in a while. Such obvious love was still hard to stomach. I moved my arms to wrap them around my chest, but Jacob beat me to it. His warm arms bound me to him, holding me together. I smiled at him gratefully. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Leah frown. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The leeches want Bella. We have our bait,” Paul said, taking a seat beside Sam. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bella isn’t bait,” Jacob rumbled. The vibrations in his chest shook through the muscles of my back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Leah spat. “Keep Bella out of whatever you do.” She crossed her arms and stepped to stand beside Jacob and I. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bit late for that,” Paul responded, kicking his feet up onto the table. Emily scowled. “She was the one who decided to go for a midnight stroll with a bloodsucker last night. She’s already involved.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t go for a stroll.” My voice quivered. “Laurent followed me. And he was supposed to be a good vampire. I didn’t realize the difference until it was too late.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There are no good vampires. Bit dense this one,” Paul chuckled. Jared laughed from behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off, Lahote,” Leah said at the same time Jacob snarled. “Sam,” Leah winced, “what do you have in mind? You could use me as bait instead. The vamp saw me with her. He’s probably looking for me too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam’s brow furrowed. One of his hands trailed along Emily’s spine. A mindless gesture. “No one’s going to be bait. We’ll keep Leah and Bella together as much as possible. When Leah leaves the reservation, she’ll be with Bella. Less ground to cover. We’ll keep a watch on them and maintain a perimeter around the res. Quil will be shifting any day, so we’ll have more numbers. Eventually one of these vampires is going to make a move for Bella. And we’ll be ready for them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hell yeah!” Jared enthused, exchanging a high five with Embry. Jacob squeezed me lightly. Oddly enough, Leah had a smile on her face. Emily was the only one who still looked despondent. I probably did too. I didn’t like the idea of my friends risking their lives to protect me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to any of them. Even Paul and Jared, who I’d just met. And Leah being kept near me at all times felt like an unnecessary risk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about my friends?” I asked. “And Charlie? Who’s going to look out for them?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The joyful mood in the room dampened. “We’ll do our best to keep a perimeter around Forks too,” Sam answered, leaning back in his chair. “The closer you can keep your friends the better. The best option would be if you all could move to the reservation.” He chuckled, shaking his head. I tried to picture what it would take to convince Charlie to move. How could I explain it to him without sharing the pack’s secrets? And there was no way I could get two other teenage girls to move out from their parents’ homes. But I wanted to. I wanted to lock them all up and keep them safe. I was putting all their lives at risk. This was all my fault. All those hikers were my fault too, really. If it wasn’t for me, there wouldn’t be any vampires in Forks at all now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best to keep them close. I’ll do whatever you need,” I murmured. And I would. I would do anything to keep the ones I loved safe. I didn’t like imagining Victoria with her wild red hair and porcelain features anywhere near Angela or Jessica.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Bella.” Sam flashed his white teeth in a smile. “We’ll probably spend the rest of the afternoon planning running schedules and starting our rotations. Jacob, why don’t you see Leah and Bella out? You can take first watch of Bella, and we’ll fill you in on the schedule later.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing, boss.” Jacob grinned. Then he said his goodbyes to Jared, Paul, and Embry. The latter even gave him a hug. I made my way to the front door, leaning against the frame to survey the scene. I watched as Emily rose off Sam’s lap to fold Leah into a hug. This one was more awkward than the one they’d shared on the porch. But it seemed like a relationship on the mend. I hoped Leah would take Emily up on her offer to talk more later. Leah deserved more answers on what all had happened with Sam. Especially now that she was in on the secrets Emily and Sam had been keeping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacob practically skipped as he ushered Leah and I out the door and down the porch stairs. Leah smirked at his enthusiasm. We walked back to Jacob’s house in a line. Both of them pressed as close to me as possible, arms brushing against my own every few steps. When we finally arrived at his driveway, Jacob paced ahead so he could face Leah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leah, if you don’t mind, I was hoping to get Bella to myself for a bit.” Leah bit her lip. Her body folded more tightly to my own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I drove Bella down.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can take her home in the Rabbit. I mean, if that’s alright with you, Bells?” He looked down at me expectantly. I didn’t want to leave Leah. But I knew Jake and I had more to talk about - Why he’d thought ignoring me for weeks was a good idea. Why I’d been included as a member of the pack despite not being a member of the tribe. What all of this meant for Jacob and I. It’d be weird to force Leah to sit through that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah sure, of course. As long as Leah will be safe if she goes home.” Her deep brown eyes stared into mine. Her expression was blank, but something in her eyes was unsettled. I wondered if she was as uncomfortable leaving me as I was to be leaving her. Our relationship had entirely shifted. Before last night, I’d viewed her with wary intrigue. She had reminded me of a mountain cat. Breathtakingly beautiful. So much so that I couldn’t look away. But at the same time, more than able to rip me apart in seconds. Today, she’d proven she had no interest in using her claws for anything other than to protect me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The safest place Leah could be is here. The pack will always keep the res safe. We’ll have our eyes on her.” Jacob puffed out his chest a bit. I smirked at the ridiculous display, but turned my attention back to Leah.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright macho man, chill out,” Leah groaned. “I’ll drive home then. See you later, Bella.” Leah started to move to her car, but I caught her wrist, pulling her back to me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, standing on my toes to do so. I pressed my nose to her neck and inhaled, trying to absorb as much of her vanilla and cedarwood scent as possible. After a pause, Leah threaded her arms around my waist and buried her face into my hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be careful,” I whispered. My blood sang at the feel of my lips brushing against her silky smooth skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one who needs to be careful,” Leah murmured. “Stay safe, Bella.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, hello! Long time, no post. I apologize for the delay - finals season is upon me. But I promise that I have no intention of abandoning this fic; I will see it to the end!</p><p>!!!!! I also want to include a slight trigger warning for this chapter. There is unwanted touching and kissing involved akin to that which occurs with Jacob and Bella in Eclipse on top of the mountain prior to the newborn fight - and this contains more description. If this is uncomfortable for you to read, I fully understand. You are welcome to skip to the end notes where I have included a non-graphic synopsis that you can read before moving on to the next chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leah left quickly, waving at me as she pulled her car down the driveway and out onto the street. With her gone, the weight of the day crashed into me. I hadn’t realized it, but Leah had been the one holding me together. The headache from my hangover was now a dull pain, but it was still present enough to be annoying. But worse, my veins felt like they were full of ice chunks - the physical manifestation of fear racing through them. A slideshow of Charlie, Angela, and Jessica played in my mind. Even thoughts of Renee and Phil made my stomach drop. There was nothing to stop Victoria and Laurent from going after everyone I cared about. The pack offered protection, but they couldn’t defend the entirety of Forks and my family in Florida. They simply didn’t have the manpower. </p><p>I felt like bending over and dry heaving. Or falling down and crying. I wanted to pound the earth and wail about how unfair this all was. I’d already been willing to die at the hands of a vampire, and he had come close to succeeding. Now, here I was, faced yet again with the looming threat of vampires. Like I’d told him long ago, I’d toyed with fate one too many times. My number had been up with that van. Or perhaps like he’d said, that day I first sat beside him in biology. The grim reaper wanted to collect his debt, and if I wasn’t cautious, he’d take my family and friends along with me. </p><p>	Jacob came up behind me, wrapping me into a hug and pulling me from my morbid thoughts. “Bella,” he sighed, “finally I get you to myself.” </p><p>	I allowed myself to lean back into him for a moment. His evergreen and rain scent enveloped me, and the hard lines of muscles pressed against my spine reassured me that I was safe. I’d missed my Jacob. The one who’d held my hand while driving with the windows down. The one who’d been happy to watch me scarf down pizza till I got sick. The one who’d helped me piece my heart back together.</p><p>	But the man with his arms around me was not my Jacob. No matter how comforting his embrace felt. I knew now that this was wolf Jacob. The memory of the russet brown wolf breaking through Jacob’s skin played in my mind. I stepped away, needing space to clear my head. He let me, releasing his grip on me immediately. </p><p>	“I don’t understand your mood shifts, Jake.” I whirled on him. “I’ve been playing nice today given the whole ‘vampires trying to kill me’ dilemma, but you couldn’t even look at me this morning.” I took a deep breath. Jacob flinched, like my words were as good as slaps to the face. “You said I wasn’t good for you. You said I was pathetic - with my tragic, broken heart.” My vision clouded with tears, as I quoted him. “You promised to do whatever it took to make me happy. And then you abandoned me just like him.”</p><p> Jacob opened his mouth, ready to speak. “No,” I cut him off, “I know you tried to distance yourself because of this . . . werewolf thing. But you didn’t even give me a chance. Or at the very least a warning. You let me see what you did to your kitchen. You made me fear the worst with Sam. And then you let me fear for my life with Laurent. You weren’t planning on telling me anything. That’s cruel, Jake. You don’t get to all of a sudden decide I’m part of the pack now.” </p><p>Jacob held his hands out to me with palms up - a show of surrender. “You’re absolutely right, Bella. I could spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you and it wouldn’t be enough. It wasn’t my place to decide what was best for you. I know that now.”</p><p>“But why the sudden change, Jake? I know it’s not because of Laurent. When I came over this morning, you weren’t going to tell me anything about the pack. You were going to let me keep living with my fear of the worst.” </p><p>Jacob ran a hand through his hair and kicked at a stone in the drive. “Listen, Bells, this is going to be a lot, okay? You’re probably going to freak out. That’s alright. But I know you don’t want me to keep any more secrets.”</p><p>I crossed my arms. “No more secrets, Jake. I’m tired of everyone else deciding what’s best for me.” </p><p>“Of course you are. I was foolish to think otherwise before.” Jacob stepped forward and grabbed my hand. I tried to shake him off, but he held firm and began leading me to the garage. “It feels weird to have this conversation in my driveway. Dad is still home.” I followed him with unsure feet.</p><p>“You’re really freaking me out, you know that right,” I grumbled.</p><p>Jacob frowned, looking down to meet my gaze. “I know, and I hate it. But I think you’re gonna appreciate us going someplace a little more private.” </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” </p><p>Jacob chuckled. “You can never make things easy, can you?” He yanked open the heavy, metal garage door with a flick of his wrist and led me to the work bench where I’d watched him work on car parts for hours. Before I could speak, he hoisted me up on the bench so my legs dangled in the air and our eyes were closer to being level. </p><p>“Bella, you heard what Paul said before we fought - that you’re my imprint.” He said this as a statement, not a question. I confirmed anyway with a nod of my head. My teeth gnawed at my lower lip, which was an outlet for the somersaults my stomach was doing. It was hard to pinpoint if that was because of my hangover or from Jacob.</p><p> “He was speaking the truth. You are my imprint.” He bent so close to me that our noses almost touched. I felt bare beneath his stare. As much as I wanted to know the truth, the word ‘imprint’ felt heavy. The hole in my chest screamed that I needed to walk out of the garage without answers. But it was too late for that.</p><p> “Imprinting is a wolf thing,” Jacob murmured. His eyes were depthless pools boring into mine. “It . . . shows us who our soulmates are. It completely ties you to the person you imprinted on in every way. They become your whole world.” He cleared his throat. “You are my whole world.” His hand tucked my hair behind my left ear. The calloused tips of his fingers brushing against my cheek in the process.</p><p>Soulmate. That was why the word imprint felt heavy. Because it was heavy. This had to be some kind of mistake. I wanted Jacob - as my friend. I had never wanted Jacob in any other way. Even when we’d kissed, there’d been nothing romantic there, just pure physical response. I’d had a soulmate. He’d left. The pit inside of me yawned open, forcing me to wrap my arms around myself.</p><p>“Soulmate?” I choked out. Jacob frowned, somehow sensing my train of thought.</p><p>“It doesn’t have to be how you’re thinking right now, Bells. I remember what you said - you’re not ready for that. A soulmate doesn’t have to be a romantic connection. An imprint has the full say on what the relationship looks like. Imprint - that’s you - you have all the power here. And I will never leave you, ever. Not like him. I am tied to you for as long as I live. I can be your friend, your brother, your lover - whatever you want me to be, Bells, I’m yours.”</p><p>I gulped. This was what I’d wanted from Jacob all along. I’d never wanted him to leave me. I’d longed for him to feel comfortable just as my friend. This was the universe throwing everything I’d wished for in my lap. For some reason, it made me feel nauseous.</p><p>“Did you . . . choose to imprint on me?” I stared into his eyes, searching for answers. </p><p>“No. We don’t have any control over it. And before you ask, we also don’t know what causes the imprint to happen. Dad thinks it might have something to do with genetics, but we can’t be sure.” His thumb stroked the side of my neck. His touch was firm - more confident than when he’d ever touched me before.</p><p>“So you have no choice but to be with me, then?” The chasm inside me laughed at that. Of course, the only way someone would stay with me is if they were forced to.</p><p>Jacob’s face fell. “There’s no choice in imprinting. Still, it always works out for the best. Sam imprinted on Emily and you saw how in love they are. But, Bells, if I had had a choice, it would’ve been you. I would sign up to imprint on you a thousand times over. I considered you my soulmate way before any of this werewolf-vampire shit happened.” </p><p>I shifted my gaze down to my shoes. “And what if it’s not what I would’ve chosen?” I whispered, the words barely passing my lips. They’d emerged of their own volition. A thought I hadn’t been able to keep to myself. </p><p>Jacob gasped and lurched back, like I’d struck him. I forced myself to raise my eyes and bear witness to the pain I’d just caused. His face was the portrait of despair. The sharp angles of his face were contorted in a new way - all downward lines. I’d done that. Jacob had once again bared his soul to me and I’d discarded it. There had to be something wrong with me. Forks might be full of supernatural beings, but I was the monster.</p><p>Unable to stand his pain, I stumbled off the workbench and gripped his arms to pull him to me. His bare chest was unnaturally hot against me. He grabbed my waist in return, so tight I worried I’d have bruises. I wrapped my arms around Jacob’s neck and pulled his head down toward mine. Our lips clumsily connected. It wasn’t at all like the first time. This was all teeth and hard pressure. Jacob sounded a small note of surprise. </p><p>	“Bella.” Jacob jerked back and assessed me. “What the hell are you doing?” </p><p>	I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to kiss him. Not really. I felt no desire for him in that way. But Jacob’s dark brown eyes still swirled with hurt, and I couldn’t bear it. The universe was giving me Jacob back - in any way I wanted. The gift was at the cost of Jacob’s freedom, though. He’d said he was bound to me for his entire life. A full life of watching me mourn the lost love of his mortal enemy. It wasn’t fair. Despite what he’d put me through these weeks, Jacob was good. He was light and air and everything essential. He helped me find my way back to myself when I was lost. Couldn’t I at least give this imprint thing a try? If not for myself, for him? </p><p>Before I could change my mind, I tugged him back down to me. I stood on my tiptoes to press my lips to his. Jacob hesitantly wrapped his arms around my waist. The touch was soft this time, more hesitant. It was warm and pleasant. But I felt nothing deeper. My brain only raced. Jacob was my soulmate. The universe had said as much. Who was I to disagree with the universe? The wolves’ imprint had led to Sam and Emily living in bliss. Jacob deserved that same happiness even if I could never feel it. And I never would - I was defective now. Even if Jacob had lied to me for weeks, he’d done it for a good reason, to protect me. It wasn’t fair that he’d been linked to me, a broken excuse of a person.</p><p>In desperation to feel anything in return for Jacob, even the heat of passion I’d felt the last time we’d kissed, I opened my mouth to him. He tasted like mint gum. Jacob’s moan shuddered through me. He immediately seized the opportunity to slide his tongue against my own. His lips sucked and nipped at mine. A heat warm enough to match Jacob’s began building in my center, leaking down to my core. I slid a hand along his bare chest, palming the hard muscles. Jacob was all hard, chiseled rock. I forced out an errant thought comparing him to how soft Leah’s neck had felt against my lips earlier. Focus. I needed to focus on Jacob. Only Jacob. I felt my sense of self slip away.</p><p>My body moved closer to Jacob’s, pressing into him with all the strength left in me. I timidly sent my tongue on its own exploration, melding us together. Jacob’s hands coursed down my back till they brushed the top of my thighs, cupping my ass. In one movement, Jacob scooped me up into his arms, supporting me under my thighs. I instinctively wrapped my legs around him. My core now pressed into his abs. The heat from his skin leached through my jeans and had my hips writhing in his arms without thought. </p><p>Jacob moved swiftly to place me back on the workbench behind us. The tools that had been resting there before clattered to the floor. I kept my ankles linked behind him so he couldn’t get away. Then, Jacob’s center came to meet my own. I gasped at the hard length I felt there. The thin material of his shorts did little to hide him. Jacob groaned, and his hands roamed to my hips. He began rocking them back and forth, pressing me against him. My breath hitched. I tangled my fingers into the little that was left of his hair and threw my own head back, disconnecting our mouths. </p><p>Jacob, not wanting to waste a second, moved to my neck, sucking against the skin there in earnest. My eyes rolled back in my head at the touch. I began to move my hips on my own, experimenting with different movements and the reactions they elicited from him. When I began a slow circle, Jacob began to pant against my skin. I sped up the motion, reveling in the way it felt to press myself against him. Jacob pulled his head up to press a sloppy kiss to my mouth. I sucked on his bottom lip in return.</p><p>Jacob’s hands shifted to the waistband of my jeans. I pumped my hips faster as a pulse began to build in my core. His thumb edged into my pants, brushing against my pelvic bone. I moaned at the touch. His other fingers crawled up underneath my shirt until they rested beneath my bra. As I felt a calloused tip sneak under the fabric there, my mind descended back into myself. This was going too far. Being willing to kiss Jacob to ease his pain was one thing. But what we were doing now was wrong. The heat was too much. Jacob’s touch wasn’t right. It was too fast. Too hard. Too . . . Jacob. For some reason, a mental image of Leah shaking her head at me with disgust, a deep frown on her sharp face, flooded me.</p><p>Without a word from me, Jacob pulled my legs from around him and stepped away, like he’d sensed the shift in my thoughts. His eyes were wild, mouth agape. A sheen of sweat sparkled across his forehead. I knew from the way my hair was sticking to my face, I had to look much the same. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Jake, I can’t. Not yet.” I felt tears welling in my eyes. From frustration with myself. From sadness for Jacob. Tried - I had tried.</p><p>Jacob brushed a hand through his shorn hair. “Bella, I told you, you don’t have to. We can be whatever you want. You can think whatever you want about this imprint thing. You don’t have to try to force this,” he motioned between us, “because you feel pity for me.” </p><p>“I don’t -”</p><p>“Don’t lie. I don’t know how, but I can tell.” I couldn’t stop it at that point, tears poured out and began streaming down my cheeks. </p><p>“Oh, Bella. No, please don’t cry.” Jacob hoisted himself onto the bench beside me and wrapped an arm around me, drawing me into his side. I fell into him like a ragdoll. </p><p>“I’m disgusting.” I mumbled into his chest. </p><p>“For what? That?” Jacob waved a hand in the air referencing what we’d just done. “Nah, Bella, honey, you’re not disgusting. You’re stressed out and confused, and you’re just doing the best you can. I dropped a bomb on you, and you needed to process it. And before you think it, you didn’t betray that bloodsucking asshole by kissing me.” It was like he was reading my mind. His words were exactly what I needed to hear to calm down. “You can make out with whoever you want now. That’s the benefit of break ups. If you want, I could round up the rest of the pack and you can make out with them too. You know Embry has a thing for senior girls, I bet he’d be down.” Despite myself, I chuckled. </p><p>“Do you hate me?” I kept my face flat against his chest to hide from him, embarrassed by the way I’d just been writhing on this workbench. And mortified that I’d thought kissing him was the answer to our complicated relationship. If anything, I’d made it worse.</p><p>“Hate you?” Jacob huffed. “I will never hate you, Bella. No matter what you do. I will never judge you or leave you or get angry with you. I’m your number one fan now.” Jacob sounded like he was smiling. </p><p>“Even if . . . I don’t think I can be with you the way Emily is with Sam?” I was a coward for not turning my face up to him, but so be it. </p><p>“Even then. It’s okay,” Jacob said evenly. Then he hummed with satisfaction as he squeezed me to him. </p><p>I pulled back at that. “Okay? You never seemed okay with just being friends before.” </p><p>Jacob pursed his lips. “And I’m sorry for that. I’ll keep saying this until you believe it, Bells. I will be whatever you want. There is no expectation that we’ll be Emily and Sam. I’m sorry if I made it seem that way.” </p><p>“Oh.” This imprint relationship seemed all good for me and all bad for him. “If you had control over the imprint at all, would you want to be like them, Emily and Sam?” </p><p>Jacob’s answer was immediate. “No, not if it wasn’t what you wanted.” </p><p>Even though his smile was bright as the sun now, this still wasn’t my Jacob. This was a new Jacob - imprint Jacob. A definite improvement from Sam’s Jacob. And I liked that imprint Jacob seemed to genuinely be comfortable with continuing on as friends despite us being physical mere minutes ago. My Jacob probably wouldn’t have been as understanding. </p><p>But that was what made him my Jacob. What was the point in a friendship with someone if I was the one who set all the standards? If I controlled him? </p><p>Jacob pulled my hand up from the wooden bench and pressed a small kiss into my palm, a smile still on his face. </p><p>“This is a lot. I didn’t want to tell you today since you’re worried about Laurent and Victoria and because you literally just found out about the wolves, but I knew if I didn’t, Paul would blab. I couldn’t bear the thought of you finding out from anyone but me. I knew you’d want to hear it from me first.” He was right, of course. I was tired of everyone lying to me and keeping secrets. “Let me take you home now, Bells. Give you some time to think through all this. And Charlie’s probably starving by now.” </p><p>I looked out the garage’s window to see the sky shifting from brilliant red to deep shades of purple. It was easily an hour or two past dinner. Charlie had to be wondering where I was. And he would be all alone at the house; an easy offering to two hungry vampires. My heart sped at the thought. I took a deep breath and attempted to direct my mind to more mundane topics. All I could hope was that Charlie hadn’t attempted to make pasta or anything on his own. I didn’t feel like cleaning up a burnt brick of spaghetti. </p><p>Jacob helped me off the bench and guided me to his Rabbit. On the drive, he kept a hand loosely wrapped around my own. The touch was comforting but at the same time made me uneasy. So much had changed since the last time Jacob had held my hand like this. I no longer ran the risk of leading him on unless I wanted to - I didn’t like having all that power. Still, I couldn’t deny him an attempt at an easy friendship. Not when that’s what I’d wanted all along. I watched as, with a wry smile, Jacob turned the stereo dial on. Loud music pounded through the speakers. “Rap music - your favorite, Bells.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I struggled with this chapter because I'm eager to get to more Leah/Bella. But that would be too straightforward for Bella, I think. Her relationships remain complicated. This chapter was inspired somewhat by the kiss on the mountain in Eclipse - with some obvious twists. Now, onward to more vampire danger and some Leah goodness!</p><p>Synopsis of this chapter: Jacob tells Bella that she is his imprint. He tells her this means they are soulmates but that he can be her brother, friend, or lover - whatever she wants. Bella is resistant to the idea, leading to Jacob being hurt. In a misguided attempt to ease Jacob's pain over the complicated situation, Bella begins making out with him even though she doesn't really want to. For several paragraphs she loses her sense of self and the kissing gets passionate. However, she comes back to her senses and Jacob steps away. He insists it's okay for them to be friends. Bella is relieved but also uneasy because she doesn't want this sort of control over Jacob. She is also worried for the safety of her friends and family with Laurent and Victoria on the loose. Jacob takes Bella home.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>